Love Never Dies
by Ninja Elizabeth
Summary: What if a certain Private makes it through the night and returns home? Sister Drummond gets a new Ward Sister. Love will prevail. Love conquers all. Love heals all wounds.
1. Chaos

**Disclaimer** Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.

All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.

A "What if...?" Story _from HazieRox's "What If?" Challenge_. . "What if Robbie made it home?

Love Never Dies

by

Ninja Elizabeth

**Chapter 1 **

**Chaos**

June 1940 St Thomas Hospital, day

Sister Marjorie Drummond sat in her office enjoying the few moments she had away from the ward floor. The war was already taking its toll on her staff of young nurses and probationers. She was relieved when she received word that her requests for help had not fallen on deaf ears and that she was not only getting more nurses but the Ward Sister she had requested. With St Thomas being designated as the processing center for the soldiers returning from Dunkirk they were beyond their capacity.

* * * *

Cecilia Tallis was not too happy about returning to the hospital where she had done her nurses training. It had nothing to do with her experiences or the Ward Sister in charge. In fact she was flattered that Sister Drummond had specifically asked for her. Her reluctance had more to do with one of the probationers, her sister Briony. But she was a nurse and she went where she was needed so she took a deep breath and put her personal feelings aside.

Upon entering the hospital she could immediately see why Sister Drummond was so desperate for more personnel. The ward was overflowing with soldiers and the hospital staff was having trouble keeping up. She had seen an increase of activity at the EMS as well as the more severely injured had been filtered there but the sheer number of soldiers at St Thomas seemed more than the staff could handle.

From her days as a probationer she knew her way around. After identifying herself at the reception desk she was told that the ward sister was in her office. She told the receptionist that she knew the way and headed for the office. She knocked firmly on the door.

"Come in," a familiar voice from the other side of the door responded.

Cecilia entered. Sister Drummond sat at her desk and looked up heaving a sigh of relief. She hadn't changed a bit.

"Ward Sister Cecilia Tallis." the ward sister replied. "Thank you for accepting my request. I've just been reviewing your record. I knew you would not disappoint me."

"Thank you." Cecilia responded. "I was rather surprised that you recommended me so highly."

Sister Drummond gave her a slight smile. "You shouldn't have been. You are a fine nurse, Cecilia. In my ward you never hesitated upon making sometimes life saving decisions. You are very intuitive. I never once had to call you into my office for disciplinary matters." she complimented. "When they said that they would transfer another ward sister along with a few nurses, I immediately thought of you and requested you be transferred back here. As you can see, things are rather chaotic. But you are probably used to chaos at the EMS, are you not? Another reason I wanted you here."

"The ward does seem to be over run. I've never seen it so full of patients." Cecilia replied.

"Not all of them need medical care." Sister Drummond responded. "Most merely need cleaning up and a quick check up before we sign an all clear and they are sent back into the field. Those injured on the battlefields are still sent to the EMS. Those soldiers out there are from the evacuation. They just never seem to stop coming and it's taking its toll on my young inexperienced staff. I have a few stand outs, but I can't rely on them too much. Even they are not prepared for this."

"I don't think any of us are." Cecilia replied.

For the next few hours, Sister Drummond went over the policies and procedures in her ward that Cecilia was now privy to as Ward Sister. Gave her the keys to access areas of the ward she now had access to, and insisted that she call her Marjorie when they were talking in the office away from the ward floor.

Next came the disciplinary reports. She showed Cecilia how she like to do them and where she filed them. Cecilia was free to write them up as she saw fit. Marjorie showed her new ward sister her latest stack of disciplinary reports. Cecilia saw the name atop the first report and groaned.

"I am quite certain that Nurse Tallis no longer hears me and my words no longer register." Marjorie replied. "Would you be so kind and take care of this matter?"

"I'd rather not," Cecilia answered knowing full well it was more of a request rather than a question.

"I beg your pardon?" Marjorie asked taken aback by Cecilia's response.

"I said that I'd rather not." Cecilia repeated. "I also know that you were requesting rather than asking but if you don't mind, I would like to avoid Nurse Tallis as much as possible."

"Tallis? I should have realized. Is she related to you, Cecilia?"

"Unfortunately, yes. She's my kid sister, and I'm not very fond of her at present."

"I see. I'm sorry. I'll take care of this matter." Marjorie replied. "She's nothing like you. Did you know she was here?"

Cecilia nodded. "Yes. She found my address and wrote me a letter. But I can't let my personal feelings interfere of the job I have to do. I can handle myself. I cannot say the same for her."

Marjorie laughed. "I understand."

* * * *

Word that a new Ward Sister had arrived spread quickly through the ward. Everyone wondered what she was like? They each had their own hopes as to what show she would run things but all could agree they wanted to be less strict than Sister Drummond. Someone had heard that she did her nurses training at St Thomas so her returning could be a good thing. Surely she had a soft spot for them and the pressures they faced. Another heard that she was transferring from the EMS near Morden.

Everyone went about their duties in a frenzied pace as though to present a good impression on the new Ward Sister.

It was Briony's duty at present to run the clean bed pans up to the ward to be used. She hated everything that had to do with bedpans, whether it was using them, taking the dirty ones to be cleaned or the very worst, cleaning them. Today, she was growing tired of the monotony of the back and forth her current duty required. The constant leers and cattle calls from the soldiers especially today was getting on her nerves.

As she crossed the ward with cleaned bedpans in her hands, she tripped over her own feet in disbelief upon seeing the new Ward Sister walking the ward with Sister Drummond. The bedpans she had been carrying fell to the floor with a loud clang resonating throughout the ward like out of tune church bells. She quickly scrambled to pick them up and resume her duty before the Ward Sisters would be able to confront her on her clumsiness.

Two sets of feet appeared in her vision. Too late. The Ward Sisters had reached her. She did not dare look up.

"Nurse Tallis." It was the voice of the new Ward Sister. It was a voice familiar to her but had not heard in nearly five years. It was not the comforting voice of her older sister but the new Ward Sister. "This is a hospital. These soldiers have been through a lot on the battlefields and do not need you startling them by dropping bedpans. Please take care."

"Y-yes, Ce-Ward Sister." Briony replied catching herself before she addressed the Ward Sister by her given name. "I'll be more careful. I'm sorry."

"Pick these up and get back to work."

"Yes, Ward Sister." Briony still did not look up. She saw the feet move out of her field of view and heaved a big sigh. Then she realized that the Ward Sisters might still be able to see her and picked up her pace.

For the rest of her shift, Briony trekked back and forth without any more incidents. The new Ward Sister jumped right in after her tour of the ward was finished and tending to patients. She paid as little attention to Nurse Tallis as possible, however Briony was sure that Sister Tallis was watching her like a hawk.

* * * *

Fiona lay back in her bed, exhausted. Briony who usually sat up until 'lights out' writing lay on her bed as well. She too was exhausted from the day's shift.

"That new Ward Sister is something else!", Fiona quipped. "I am not sure I like her. Who does she think she is? I didn't think anyone could be worse than Sister Drummond. And to think I was actually looking forward to working with her when I first saw her. The way she treated you! She practically went out of her way to scold you when you dropped those bedpans, and then went out of her way to ignore you the rest of the day. She and Sister Drummond seemed awfully close though. Maybe she and Sister Drummond are having an affair!"

Briony sighed. Joking or not, she did not like that last remark. "Cecilia has always been rather cold and unemotional to those she does not know and rather serious when she has her mind set. She obviously takes her job seriously. But she has a tender, nurturing side as well. When I was a little girl she would come to my room and comfort me when I had a nightmare," she replied. "And she is not having an affair. She has a lover. He's a private in the Army."

"Cecilia?" Fiona asked. "Is that her name? How do you know her? She's related to you, isn't she?"

"Cecilia Emily Tallis." Briony answered. "She's my older sister. I always thought her full given name was so beautiful."

"Your sister?" Fiona exclaimed not believing a sister could be so harsh on the other. "How can she treat you like she does? She doesn't seem to be very happy to see you."

"That's because she isn't." Briony replied dryly. "And I imagine it's not only because of our past. She's a Ward Sister, and I'm sure Sister Drummond shared my record with her. Cecilia hates me and wants nothing to do with me. I wrote to her but never received a reply. I would not be surprised if she threw the letter in the trash without opening it."

Fiona was furious. "I just don't understand," she replied. "If I had a sister I could never hate her."

Briony sighed. Her friend had no idea. She really didn't feel like going into her history with Fiona at the moment, but she had to be told something more. She didn't want her friend to hate Cecilia. Hating the 'Ward Sister' was one thing, her sister was another. She was sure that Sister Drummond was probably a nice lady outside of the ward. She knew her sister was. "I did something horrible five years ago, Fiona..." her voice trailed off. "Something that tore our family apart. Something that she's never been able to forgive me for. Just leave it at that. We should get to sleep."

Closing her eyes, Fiona agreed with the sleep suggestion. She would pick up the conversation at another time when she could keep her eyes open.


	2. Come back Come back to me

**Disclaimer** Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.

All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.

A "What if...?" Story. "What if Robbie made it home?

Love Never Dies

by

Ninja Elizabeth

**Chapter 2: Come back... come back to me.**

The lights of the dormitory switched on. The sleeping nurses and probationers groaned. There was one of the senior nurses standing the in t door way.

"Shift two, get dressed and report back to the ward." the nurse replied.

Briony groaned. She and Fiona were on shift two.

"Another truckload of soldiers have arrived and the ward sisters want everyone on duty. Report to Sister Drummond for your assignments."

* * *

The ward was in a state of chaos like they had never seen before. Some of the soldiers had been processed and sent to an awaiting troop transport for deployment. Others were given a short examination that they too were sent to the troop transport. There were more soldiers than before. Some had injuries that needed tended to r other medical matters to address. Some were merely drunk and were off to one corner singing and having a jolly of a time. This was why the Ward Sisters called for the return of shift two.

Sister Drummond was overseeing the ward. Nurse Bennet was on one side and Sister Tallis the other, so it came to no surprise to Briony that she was assigned to Nurse Bennet's side.

Sister Tallis tended to the soldiers alongside the nurses. Everyone worked in pairs. She was going increasingly annoyed by the young probationer working with her at the moment's constant chatter and preaching about the importance of forgiveness and family.

"Nurse Maguire, will you please shut up?" Sister Tallis responded finally hearing enough. She could feel a migraine coming on and the nurse's chatter adding to the singing soldiers was more than she could tolerate. "These soldiers have been through hell on the battlefield they do not need to hear you preaching to them."

"But you do." Nurse Maguire replied.

"I beg your pardon?"

Nurse Maguire took a deep breath as Sister Tallis looked at her. "You need to hear what I have to say. You have a sister whom you've not spoken to in five years. She's here and you haven't even taken the time to greet her properly."

"My personal life is of no concern to you, is that clear?" Sister Tallis replied obviously annoyed. She then turned her attention back to the large black soldier she was tending to. He was in good health and good spirits. He had a wound to his right eye. She unwrapped the once white bandage to examine it further. It did not look good. As she cleaned the wound and prepared a new dressing it was apparent that Nurse Maguire was not giving up.

"What did Briony do to you that was so horrible? Why won't you speak to her?" she asked knowing that she would be disciplined later for pestering the Ward Sister about personal matters but to her family was the most important thing.

"I'm sorry. Please excuse me for a moment." Sister Tallis replied in a pleasant bedside manner to the soldier before turning to Nurse Maguire. "If you wish to discuss this matter or anything with me, please do so on your own time and when we are not so busy. I am always willing to listen or talk but not on the ward floor. Is that clear?"

A soldier on the other side of the ward began to yell, side effects of the mental strain of war or delirium drawing both Sister Tallis' and Nurse Maguire's attention. It was not uncommon for Sister Tallis to hear such screams in the EMS.

"I'm coming home! Wait for me!" the soldier replied at the top of his lungs. "I've come back! I love you!"

Sister Tallis turned back to the soldier before her. He was chuckling.

"There goes again," he replied referring to the soldier on the other side. "He's been like that since Dunkirk. Amazed we got him to shut up long enough to fake his well being to get him on the ship."

Nurse Maguire turned to the soldier. "Fake his well being?" she asked with confusion.

Sister Tallis answered. "A price one pays in war." she replied. "The wounded and sick are often left behind.

"He led us to Dunkirk," the black soldier continued. "Kept talking, rambling about, as Nettle put it, some crumpet he had to return to because she was waiting for him. Figured we owed it to him to bring him home. Try and find his girl."

Sister Tallis took a deep breath and tried her best not to think about it. She didn't want to get any hopes up. There were so many women left behind, 'his girl' could be anybody. She had heard it all before. "Get some rest." Sister Tallis replied. "You must know that your eye can not be saved. I'm going to order for a doctor to examine it further. It is probably enough for you to get discharged and return to civilian life."

The soldier nodded. "Thank you. Will you let me know how the Private makes out?"

"I will." Sister Tallis replied before moving on.

Nurse Maguire watched in awe as the Ward Sister casually went onto the next patient. She could now see how she could hate her sister. Briony said that she had a tender side but Fiona was sure it was all an act. It made her angry that someone could be that cold.

The soldier on the other side continued as he resisted his treatment insisting that 'she was waiting'. "No. I've got to go. She's waiting for me at the cottage!" he exclaimed. "An old cottage by the coast, white clapboard with blue painted window frames."

Sister Tallis swallowed hard as her heart skipped a beat. It was a typical image she told herself. A delusionary image of peace, serenity. She concentrated on tending to the soldier before her. Dehydration. Malnutrition.

"Oh, that cottage sounds so wonderful," Nurse Maguire replied dreamily. "Isn't it romantic? I hope he finds her."

"Nurse Maguire, your attention needs to be here." Sister Tallis scolded.

"How can you be so cold?" Nurse Maguire snapped. "Don't you even care?" She didn't care if she was out of line. Briony was her friend and she did not like seeing her upset. She could not believe how opposite the two sisters were.

Sister Tallis pulled Nurse Maguire aside. "Fiona, correct?" the ward sister asked.

"Yes." Fiona replied, surprised that the ward sister even knew her first name.

"Soldiers come in; we treat them and send them on their way. You tend to one then move on to the next one. Some live, some will die." Sister Tallis continued. "We cannot allow ourselves to get emotionally attached to one soldier or situation. If you cannot handle that, Nurse Maguire then I suggest you find yourself another form of employment. I don't know what my sister Briony has told you about me, but I will say again, this is not the place to be discussing my private life. Now pay attention or get out of my sight."

Fiona turned her attention to the soldier in front of them. She didn't want to start crying. She wasn't however going to let it go. She was going to wait until another time to confront the ward sister. For now she tried to focus.

It wasn't until the soldier on the other side's outbursts became more violent and threatening in nature did Sister Tallis take notice and show emotion. He was apparently getting physical and Sister Drummond had rushed over to help, but she was quickly losing control of the situation.

"I should have let you drown!" the soldier screamed. "I should have let you drown, you jealous little bitch!"

"Private! Unhand Nurse Tallis at once!" Sister Drummond replied.

Sister Tallis dropped what she was doing and rushed over to aid Sister Drummond, followed closely by Fiona. Inside her heart raced. She tried to calm herself. It couldn't be... she wanted it so much but she dared not hope. It had just become a dream. She was on the verge of accepting the fact that she would be alone. Marjorie needs your help she told herself as they reached the soldier who had his hands firmly gripped around Briony's throat.

As expected much to Fiona's disgust, Sister Tallis paid little attention or concern about her sister. She was however taken aback by the way she shoved Sister Drummond out of the way.

Sister Drummond was about to protest when she noticed the tears forming in Sister Tallis' eyes. The harsh exterior of 'Ward Sister' was gone, to expose the vulnerable Cecilia as she placed a tender hand on the soldier's cheek.

"Robbie," Cecilia replied through her tears with heartfelt tenderness. "Robbie, come back. Come back to me."

The soldier's grip on Nurse Tallis' neck loosened just enough for her to break free. Gasping and choking for air she allowed herself to be attended to by her friend and Sister Drummond.

Cecilia caressed the soldier's bearded cheek. He had a temperature and was still in a state of delirium. "Robbie, I'm here. I've been waiting for you. I love you. Come back to me."

He blinked and seemed to be confused by his surroundings. He saw the nurse beside him and smiled. "Two sugars please, Cecilia," he replied before passing out.

Cecilia snickered as she made him as comfortable as possible.

Sister Drummond watched as Cecilia gently lay the soldier down. She then turned to the nurses gathered and began barking orders for them to bring items so she could treat the soldier's infection. Sister Drummond was impressed and yet she wasn't. It was exactly why she had requested Cecilia personally. Regardless of her personal feelings, Cecilia was a professional.

Cecilia turned back to the soldier and began to unbutton his shirt to search for the offending infection. She did not have to look far. Right there in the center of his chest just under his solar plexus was a red puss filled would and by the looks of it, it had been festering for quite some time. She pulled out the soldier's ID tags to make note of his name for the medical records. She did not have to look back and forth to copy the number or spelling of his name. It was a number she had memorized. '6445891' Turner, Robert Ernest. She cried as she examined the infected wound.

The nurses returned with the items she had ordered and she thanked them. As she lovingly tended to Robbie's wound she knew that he might not make it. She had seen many soldiers with lesser infections die under her care. He was feverish and delirious which meant that the infection has spread. She found that there was a piece of shrapnel in the wound and proceeded to remove it after applying local anesthetic. Robbie barely stirred. She did her best to make him comfortable by wiping his neck and face with a cool towel. It gave her a little bit of comfort to think that he did see and recognize her before passing out.


	3. Confrontation

**Disclaimer** Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.

All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.

A "What if...?" Story. "What if Robbie made it home?

Love Never Dies

by

Ninja Elizabeth

**Chapter 3: Confrontation **

By the time morning arrived things had calmed down. Shift two was finally allowed to return to their interrupted slumber as shift one arrived to relieve them. Word was spreading that the evacuation was ending soon as the Germans were closing in and it was getting too dangerous to continue pulling out the troops.

Sister Drummond had found the time to get some sleep. She returned to the ward refreshed and ready to start over. She found Sister Tallis asleep at the bedside of Private Turner. She could tell that her ward sister had cried herself to sleep. She checked the soldier's condition before attempting to wake the sleeping ward sister. He was doing much better. Although his fever had not quite broken it had gone down significantly. She called over Nurse Bennet who was just starting her second shift asking her to fetch another tray of ice and fresh towels. While she waited, Sister Drummond changed the dressing on the soldier's wound careful not to disturb him or the sleeping Cecilia. The soldier's tenacity to fight the infection amazed her. His love for the young woman sleeping at his beside must have been what was pulling him through, she thought.

Nurse Bennet returned with the ice and towels. She had also brought along a few other supplies she thought Sister Drummond might need. Sister Drummond allowed herself a smile. She knew that she did not have to ask. "Nurse Bennet, will you stay at Private Turner's side until Sister Tallis returns?"

"Of course." Nurse Bennet replied. "Are you going to make sure she gets some proper rest? She's been at his side most of the night. She's 'the crumpet' isn't she?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Nurse Bennet chuckled. "I tended to a soldier last night. He's got an infected toe; he hates his boots and pleaded with me to let him stay a few days. I told him I would allow it," she replied. "He said that the private was always thinking of and reading letters from his 'crumpet' he left behind."

She shook her head. "If Private Turner awakens and asks for Cecilia tell him that she is resting and will be back."

Cecilia yawned and stretched. Her body ached. She looked to the soldier sleeping before her. Robbie. He was still there. It wasn't a dream. He came back.

"Cecilia," sister Drummond replied softly. "Why don't you go to the office and take a rest on the hide-away. You will feel much better. Freshen up a bit. Nurse Bennet will watch over Robbie while you are gone."

She didn't want to leave Robbie's side, but lying on a bed did sound nice. She also knew how much trust Marjorie had in Nurse Bennet. She checked Robbie's temperature before turning to Nurse Bennet. "I want to be informed the instant there is any change, is that clear?"

"Of course." Nurse Bennet replied. "Now go and get some rest. I'll watch over him."

Cecilia caressed his cheek and leaned over to whisper in his ear. "I'll be back, darling. I love you." She stood up and watched him sleep for a few moments. She noticed that shift one and shift three were on duty. That meant that shift two had returned to sleep. Instead of heading to the office to rest she headed to the nurses dormitories.

Briony was exhausted. Her legs ached. After the incident with the soldier, both she and Fiona had been assigned to the bedpans. Briony cleaned them, while Fiona brought the dirty ones to the wash area. Briony was sure they were being punished.

Thank goodness, she thought as she climbed into her bed. Fiona was equally exhausted and had already fallen asleep. She was sure that if her friend had not fallen asleep she would get an earful about what had happened. Normally she didn't mind her friend's good nature but right now she wanted nothing more than to sleep.

She had just begun to drift off when she heard the door open. She paid no attention. She heard footsteps coming toward her.

"Nurse Tallis, wake up."

Briony stirred but did not wake up. Surely they were not being asked to work a third shift. She had to be dreaming.

"Briony!" the voice responded again.

That was Cecilia. Briony bolted upright, eyes wide open to see that her sister was standing next to her bed and did not look at all happy.

"Get dressed and meet me in the office. I wish to speak with you." With that, Cecilia turned and left.

Briony wasn't quite sure it was real until Fiona stirred and sat up.

"Briony? Was that your sister? What does she want? Can't it wait?"

She was already up and dressed. She had never dressed so fast in her life but she did know one thing, Ward Sister or blood sister, she did not want to keep either sister waiting long. Briony was out the door before Fiona could fully wake up.

* * * * * * *

Cecilia paced back and forth in front of the desk as she waited for her sister to arrive. She been told to get some rest but she wanted to get the conversation with her sister over with. She had been successful in ignoring her and putting it off until the arrival of Robbie. Now she felt she was forced to deal with it, especially after the way her sister handled the situation. Hearing the door latch she stopped. It was her sister. She never knocked.

"Enter and shut the door behind you, Briony." Cecilia replied coldly.

It was quite clear by the way Cecilia said her given name, Briony thought, that it was her blood sister speaking and not the Ward Sister. Briony took a deep breath. She had hoped it would be Ward Sister Tallis addressing her. Discipline she could handle. She was not ready for the confrontation that was sure to follow. She knew it would happen one day. She often wrote about it to prepare for the day. It didn't help. Now was the time and it was nothing at all like the half dozen or so scenarios she had written.

"What did you tell your friend, Nurse Fiona Maguire about me?" Cecilia asked.

"Nothing, Cee."

"Don't call me that." she snapped. "Please don't ever call me that."

Briony took a deep breath. 'Cee' was the nickname everyone in the family had always called Cecilia. Finally, she spoke, her voice shaking. "I am very sorry for the terrible thing I did and to have caused you so much pain. What I did was horrible. I don't expect you to forgive me."

"Oh don't worry, I won't." Cecilia responded with a hurt and anger in her voice that Briony was completely unprepared for.

"I'll do anything." Briony pleaded. "Anything to give you and Robbie the chance for the happiness you deserve. It's all I care abou--"

"Listen to yourself." Cecilia interrupted. "You sound pathetic, like a two penny novel."

"I don't mean to." Briony replied trying to convince her sister of her sincerity.

"There's nothing to make up in this world. It's happening. Once you set the events in motion, things happen. If you don't like the outcome you can't just tear out the page and start over."

"I know that." Briony replied. She could see the anger building inside her sister and she didn't know what to say.

Cecilia did however. "Did you know the soldier who attacked you was Robbie?"

"Yes."

"Did it ever occur to you to call over another nurse to treat him?"

"No."

"What were you thinking?" Cecilia screamed furious.

"I was thinking like a nurse." Briony responded confident with her answer.

"No you weren't." Cecilia rejected. "You were only thinking of yourself as usual, you jealous little bitch! You were thinking that if you nursed him back to health that we would be indebted to you and we would forgive you. Well that's not going to happen."

Briony had never heard her sister curse before. She could not say anything nor could she deny what her sister had said. Cecilia was not finished.

"Did it ever occur to you that Robbie could quite possibly hate you more than I do?"

"No, I mean, yes."

Cecilia sighed. "You have absolutely no idea of the pain you've caused him, the pain you've caused me or the damage you've done, do you?"

Briony took a deep breath. It was now or never. She had been thinking about it almost constantly ever since she gathered up the courage to ask for her sister's address and write. She wondered if Cecilia had gotten the letter. "I want to go in front of a judge and change my evidence." She replied hoping it would be good news to her sister.

"You're an unreliable witness," Cecilia responded turning her back to her sister so she would not see her cry. "They'd never reopen the case."

"Well, I can at least go home and tell everyone. Mummy, daddy, Leon..."

"They won't want to hear it." Cecilia responded turning back to face her younger sister wiping her tears. "All that unpleasantness has been neatly tidied away in the past. Thank you very much."

Briony looked at her sister. It was almost too much to handle seeing her usually strong willed sister cry. Cecilia began to pace back and forth like a caged animal, fists clenching and unclenching. She looked at the wall as she paced, not looking at Briony.

"I'll be honest with you," she replied pacing trying to contain her rage. "I'm torn between breaking your neck right here or taking you down to the surgical wing to experiment with all the razor sharp objects stored there. I was perfectly happy living my life, then you had to search for me and write me that letter. I tried to joke about it to Robbie... your becoming a nurse. But do you want to know the truth? It makes me sick. When I left home I had no idea what I wanted. I just wanted to be away from all of you. I made the decision to be a nurse because it was something I thought I wanted to do. And I found that I like it. I have decided to make a career out of it. You. All your life you've dreamed of being a writer. You were always writing those stupid little stories. Why are you here? Why did you give up your position at Cambridge?"

Briony stood her ground, trying not to show her fear. She had no idea what she could say that would not further enrage her sister so she remained silent.

"Do you know what it's like to be in love?" her sister asked tenderly. "To finally admit the feelings that you've kept locked up for so long? To finally confess your feelings to the man you love and give yourself to him?"

"No," Briony admitted.

"No, you wouldn't." Cecilia snipped. "Love isn't like those stories you write, Briony. Life doesn't happen that way."

"They're just stories, Cecilia."

"Is that what you were thinking?" Her older sister asked. "When you witnessed what you thought was happening by the fountain that day, is that what you were thinking?'Oh this would make for a lovely story!' Do you have any idea what it's like to live in a house where everyone you care about turns against the man you love and thinks you're a foolish lovesick child for defending him? Tell me, did it give you pleasure to think of me, holed up in my bedroom, alone, lonely and heartbroken crying myself to sleep every night?"

"No." Briony was in shock. She had never seen such an explosion of emotions in anyone, especially her older sister. Her sister was going from anger one moment, hurt the next, fuming with anger, then in tears. She didn't know what to say. All of this emotion boiling under the surface was caused by her.

"But you never came to me..." Cecilia' voice trailed off as she gave up trying to hold back her tears and cried openly. "I was always there for you. I was always there to comfort you after your nightmares. Where were you to comfort me? You never came to comfort me or tell me that you were sorry."

"I'm sorry." Briony replied trying to move in closer to comfort her sister.

"It's too late for that!" Cecilia screamed, heartbreak again turning to anger. "Don't you understand?"

"Yes."

Tears flowed down her face. "Do you think Robbie assaulted our cousin?"

"No"

"Did you think it then?"

"Yes. Yes and no. I wasn't certain."

"And what makes you so certain now?" Cecilia asked.

"Growing up." Briony answered.

"Growing up?" Cecilia spit back with disgust.

"I was thirteen!"

Cecilia laughed. "You're eighteen now. How old do you have to be to know the difference between right and wrong? Do you have to be eighteen before you can hone up to a lie?" she asked. "There are soldiers of eighteen fighting overseas, old enough to die in my arms from wounds suffered on the battlefield because they sacrificed themselves to save others... people they hardly knew. Did you know that?"

"Yes." Of course, she did. She was a nurse too. She had had soldiers die in her arms. "I'm... I'm so sorry for what I did."

"Five years ago you didn't care about telling the truth. You and your stupid fantasies. You just assumed it was him because you witnessed things you did not understand and fancied yourself 'older and mature'. You always had to be the heroine, the beautiful princess. You were jealous that night because the 'dashing prince' was paying attention to me, not you. He loved me, not you. So you came up with the idea that he must have been attacking me and needed to protect me. I didn't need protection from him! I willingly did all the things you accuse him of! I took my clothes off at the fountain! I offered myself to him in the library! Robbie did not force me to do _anything_! Thanks to you, mother, father, everyone, they were able to close ranks and throw him to the fucking wolves!"

Briony let out a scream and raised her arms up to protect her head as Cecilia took a step towards her. She was certain her sister was going to strike her.

The door burst opened. Two people entered, two voices spoke at once.

"Sister Tallis! She's your sister!"

"Sister Tallis! He's awake!"

Cecilia registered only one word. 'Awake.' She froze, hand raised and clamed instantly. She turned away from her sister and headed toward the door which was being blocked by Nurse Maguire.

Fiona tried to get a word in but was shoved into the door frame by Sister Tallis as she passed her. The nurse who relayed the message followed Sister Tallis out as Briony heaved a huge sigh of relief and slumped to the floor.


	4. Reunion

**Disclaimer** Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.

All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.

A "What if...?" Story. "What if Robbie made it home?

Love Never Dies

by

Ninja Elizabeth

**Chapter 4: Reunion**

Robbie sat up and sipped the hot cup of Earl Grey tea he had asked for. He still didn't feel very good but he always liked the way hot tea felt going down when he was sick. When he was sick his mother would make him tea. He missed drinking hot tea. He didn't get tea or any hot drinks in prison. In the Army tea was a luxury and a lowly Private such as himself was never able to acquire any. When he was able to get some it tasted horrible and there was no sugar. He liked his tea with two sugars. The nice nurse at his side when he woke up made it for him and put in the sugar he asked for. As he savored his tea he thought of the last time he had had a decent cup. It was with Cecilia the last time he had seen her at the teahouse. He smiled as he remembered the vision of her standing there looking at him in her nurse's uniform.

With his cup to his lips, there over the rim, he saw it. His vision, his beautiful nurse was walking toward him with that tall, deliberate, sexy stride of hers. He closed his eyes tightly. He didn't want it to be a dream. So many times he had dreamed of the day when he would see his Cecilia again. So many times he would dream of her there with him only to be awakened by Mace's snoring or Nettle talking in his sleep somewhere in France on the way to Dunkirk. Was she really walking toward him? It had to be real this time. He smelled tea, hot tea, under his nose. He opened his eyes. His vision was at his side smiling at him. He just stared.

Cecilia chuckled at the sight of Robbie, blue eyes staring at her over the rim of cup of tea. "Robbie, has the cup stuck to your lips?"

He lowered the cup and giggled sheepishly not realizing that he had been frozen like that staring at her over the rim of his cup.

Cecilia took the cup from his hands and placed it on the saucer. She cupped his bearded face in her hands and leaned of and kissed him. "You look terrible. Don't smell so good either, darling." She teased. "I hope you haven't grown too attached to that beard. I hate it."

"You look the same." he smiled. "And you don't smell so good either. As for the beard it's attached to my face."

Cecilia chuckled then turned to Nurse Bennet. "Would you be so kind as to fetch the shaving kit from my foot locker?" she asked. "There is also a small wrapped package tied with blue and green ribbon. Bring that as well."

"I will," with that Nurse Bennet left Cecilia with the soldier.

Robbie raised a finger to wipe away Cecilia's tears. "Please don't cry, Cee." He replied tenderly. "I hate seeing you cry."

"I'm sorry. But they aren't all for you. I was talking to Briony."

"So she was here." Robbie replied. "Did I hurt her?"

"Would it matter?" Cecilia responded. "She would have deserved it."

"Yes, it would matter. I've already been sent to prison for a crime I didn't commit. I don't want to go for one that I did." He replied.

"I'm sorry. She just frustrates me so." She responded. "I almost hit her. I probably would have if Nurse Bingley did not enter when she did to tell me you had awakened. And no, darling, you did not hurt anything more than her pride."

Robbie looked down at his chest. His wound was no longer staring at him. It was now concealed under a bandage. It still hurt but it was a nice kind of healing hurt not tormenting him like it had been during the trek to the shore. He was certain that his wound had been cleaned and dressed. He suspected the piece of shrapnel had been taken out as well. He looked at the nurse beside him. It was Cecilia. It still didn't seem real.

"You're not out of the woods yet. Your infection has spread and still may attack your system. Your fever is down but not yet completely broken." she replied wiping his face with a cool towel. "The piece of shrapnel has been removed and your wound has been cleaned, but until the infection clears we cannot stitch you up. You've made it this far. Please don't give up now."

Robbie smiled and placed a hand on Cecilia's cheek. "Cee, do you have to talk to me like a nurse?" he asked. "I've missed you. I thought of you, read your letters and/or looked at the picture you gave me every day."

Cecilia cried. She knew that she shouldn't kiss him while on duty but she didn't care. She leaned in and kissed him again, more passionately than the first time. "I love you. I've missed you."

It wasn't Nurse Bennet who brought the shaving kit. It was Sister Drummond. She set it down next to the bowl of what was once ice then turned her attention to Cecilia. "You know it's against regulations to bring personal items into the ward."

Cecilia looked at Sister Drummond. She wondered if she had seen her kissing Robbie. "I've been certified to shave faces. It's something we do at the EMS. Barber services." She replied. "Sometimes all a soldier really needs to feel better is a haircut and a close shave. I'm hopeless when it comes hair but I can give a man a shave that will rival any barber."

"I never thought of that, but that does make sense. Sometimes I think, here in the ward, we forget that the soldiers are only human after all. Something like a close shave could work wonders."

"Exactly. Take Private Turner, for example." Cecilia thought it funny to call the one she had know all her life as simply 'Robbie', 'Private Turner'. "I'm sure like many of the normally clean shaven soldiers I've shaved, the beard feels heavy. It's itchy and scratchy and one just wants to rip it off. He feels filthy and unclean."

Robbie was nodding. Cecilia put it into words perfectly. She did understand.

Sister Drummond allowed herself a little laugh. She turned to the Private. "Now I want you to behave yourself and I will allow Sister Tallis to give you a shave. Don't do anything that will get yourself in more trouble." Not that he was in any trouble, but she was in a good mood and felt like teasing her Ward Sister and her lover. Marjorie then turned to Cecilia. She slipped a small package wrapped in brown paper tied with blue and green ribbons into her hand and whispered in her ear. "After his shave I want you to promise me you are going straight to the office and have a rest on the hide-away bed."

"I promise," Cecilia replied.

With that said, Sister Marjorie Drummond walked away.

Robbie picked up his now lukewarm cup of tea and drank it. It still tasted better than anything he had in a long time. He watched Cecilia as she opened her shaving kit and prepared to shave his face. He was excited. He had always shaved himself. He never had the luxury of being able to afford or to have the time of going into town to a barber. The first time he had had anyone else shave him was in prison. He hated the prison barber. He always ended up cutting his face. He continued to watch Cecilia as she fluffed out a small sheet and tied it around his neck. She then, with the care and precision that came with her being a nurse he was certain, laid out the instruments she needed from her kit.

Cecilia paused a moment from her ritual and looked at Robbie. She smiled at him. He looked away sheepishly, knowing he had been staring. She laughed and went back to preparing for his shave.

He felt silly at how excited it made him to watch Cecilia prepare the shaving soap but he couldn't help himself. He had only shaved on the battlefield only when it was absolutely necessary. It wasn't sanitary and there usually wasn't must time. He had to do it dry. He hated that most of all. There was also something slightly erotic about the way Cecilia stropped the straight razor on the sharpening leather, or it was just the lack of any female contact for the past five years, replaying the same fantasies with Cecilia over and over that something new excited him. The words of the prison psychiatrist taunted him. 'The subject may become dangerously inflamed should he see her.' Robbie burst out laughing.

"What's so funny, darling?" Cecilia asked turning toward him with the cup of shaving soap and brush in hand.

"Nothing, Cee," he answered. "My mind was just wandering, that's all. I always shaved myself until I went to prison. I haven't had a decent shave since I left the bungalow that hot summer afternoon for dinner. And never in my wildest fantasies did I ever think of you giving me a shave."

Cecilia smiled as she began to lather up his face. "And what kind of things did I do in your wild fantasies then?" She asked out of curiosity.

Robbie flushed with embarrassment but it couldn't be seen as his face was buried under the cool lather. "Um, you gave me a foot massage and a pedicure once." He answered with one of the tamer fantasies.

"Did I paint your toenails too?" She asked sparing him having to answer by tilting his head back. "Now hold still."

Robbie relaxed under the care of his barber, his nurse, his beautiful Cecilia as she ran the blade across his whiskers. The feel of the clean cold steel against his skin was wonderful. No wonder men liked to have a barber shave them. Had always considered it a 'lazy luxury' but now he could see why one would pay someone to give them a shave. When she was done she had a bowl of ice cold water for him to rinse his face off waiting for him. The shock of the cold water on his now naked cheeks was heavenly. He could feel his face again. His beard was gone. She handed him a soft towel to pad his face dry.

Cecilia handed him the small package that Marjorie has slipped her in exchange for the towel.

"What's this?" Robbie asked with excitement. A present!

"I bought it for you," she replied softly. "I had planned to give it to you when we met up at the cottage."

Excitedly, like a little boy on Christmas morning, Robbie tugged at the ribbons. Blue and green, he noted, their favorite colors intertwined as one. He tore at the paper. It was aftershave lotion. He stared at it for a while.

"I didn't know what to get you, I'm sorry." Cecilia replied.

"No! It's a wonderful gift!" Robbie replied sincerely as he opened it. He wanted to smell it and put some on. It smelled and felt so much nicer than the usual cheap astringent he used. "Thank you. I'm afraid I don't, and probably wouldn't have had anything for you."

Cecilia cupped his cheek. "It's all right. Seeing and spending time with you would have been all I needed." She kissed his cheek before moving to his lips. She kissed him as though she didn't have a care in the world. The man she loved was home, and at the moment it was all that mattered. The aftershave lotion smelled nice on him, not too perfumed and not like medicine.

Finally she pulled away. "Robbie?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Robbie smiled. "I love you, Cecilia."

She cupped his clean shaven face in her hands. He almost looked like her Robbie again. He needed a haircut. She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss before turning to her shaving things and begun to clean up. She then turned back to Robbie. She did her best to fix his hair but it was hopeless.

He chuckled.

She kissed him again then tucked him in before leaving his side.


	5. Heartbreak

**Disclaimer** Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.

All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.

A "What if...?" Story. "What if Robbie made it home?

Love Never Dies

by

Ninja Elizabeth

**Chapter 5: Heartbreak**

It had been a couple weeks since the end of the evacuation and most of the soldiers were gone. Some had been deployed to continue fighting while others were discharged from the Army due to their debilitating injuries to return to their civilian lives. Life in the ward was back to normal capacity and less chaotic.

Cecilia had spent as much time as she could tending to and caring for Robbie without compromising her duties. She was his primary care nurse and when she was not on duty to tend to him it was Sister Drummond, Nurse Bennet or Nurse Bingley that she trusted with him. She had met the two members of Robbie's unit that brought him home, Frank Mace whose eye injury was enough receive a discharge from the Army and Thomas Nettle whose toe infection had been caused by ill fitting boots. He had reassigned to another battalion and shipped out.

Robbie was doing splendidly. He was feeling more like himself. His wound had been stitched up and was healing nicely after the doctors believed he had beaten the infection. He looked forward to Cecilia's little visits. She would pass him and give him a little glance or shy smile. Sometimes she would quickly kiss him before moving on. After seeing her give him a shave many of the other soldiers asked for one so she spent a lot of time shaving. He was still amazed at her skill and it still amused him. Cecilia Tallis, barber. At the end of every shift she come over and gave him a kiss and tucked him in.

Today was different. He watched her as she went about her duties, tending to patients, shaving faces and running the ward. Several times she passed him by, not looking at him. She didn't smile at him; she didn't come and give him little kisses. The other nurses trusted to his care tended to him, even those who had not cared for him before. When her shift was over she seemed to rush out of the ward without seeing him. Robbie was hurt, and concerned by her sudden change in behavior.

* * * * * * *

Fiona was off. She noticed that Sister Tallis was leaving as well and heading for the office. She decided that now was the time to confront the Ward Sister about her relationship with her sister.

Briony, who had been asked by Sister Drummond to work an extra shift due to her understanding of French, noticed Fiona going after Cecilia. She had noticed how much attention her sister normally spent on Robbie; the stolen glances, the little kisses, and tucking him in when she left the ward floor. She did none of that all day. Something had changed. Something was wrong. This was the Sister Tallis her friend was about to confront and it wasn't a good idea. Briony dropped what she was doing and went after her friend. She was sure Sister Drummond would understand her reasons for abandoning her post.

They reached the office at the same time. Briony begged her friend not to enter, but she was determined.

"I'm going to have a talk with your sister. She said I could come and talk on my own time. I'm not on duty but you are. You had better get back to the ward before you get in trouble." Fiona replied.

Briony did not listen. She followed Fiona in as she opened the door.

"Sister Tallis!" Fiona responded as she entered. "I would like to speak to you. You said I could come on my own time. My shift is over."

Sister Tallis looked up and wiped the tears from her eyes. She saw Nurse Maguire before her and her sister behind her. She folded the letter she had been reading and put it aside. It took her a few moments before she could compose herself enough to speak. "I'm sorry, Nurse Maguire. I am aware of what I said but now is not a good time."

"Now is as good a time as ever," Fiona replied feeling confident. She was surprised with herself being so confident. Over the past few days she had witnessed Sister Tallis tend to Private Turner, even sneak in a few kisses. The way she continued to ignore Briony offended her and she grew more and more determined to confront the ward sister about her behavior. "If I may speak freely, Sister Tallis, I think that it's incredibly selfish and unfair of you to treat your sister the way you do."

She could not make her tears stop as she looked at Nurse Maguire. "Do you know what is unfair?" she asked sobbing. "It is unfair that a young man in the prime of his life with the opportunity to better himself and hopes for the future by attending medical school, having finally confessed his love to the woman of his dream and have that woman return his affections to have it all stripped away in one fateful evening because of the lies of a selfish child. Everything. His love, his dreams of the future... his freedom. All taken away. All because of a single lie. All because of a jealous little sister who thought she knew more than she did and fancied herself her sister's protector. A younger sister who lived her life in her own fantasies and dreams ruined the life of not only her older sister who loved her but the man she loved and single handedly torn a once close knit family apart. That is what is unfair."

"You're talking about your sister aren't you?" Fiona asked. "Isn't it time you forgave her? You said it yourself that you were once close. Why not give her another chance? You've seen enough death as a nurse. You might not get the chance with this war. What matters now is the present, not the past."

"But the past does matter." Cecilia replied. "It doesn't matter that Private Turner never disobeyed orders and received high marks and praise from his superior officers. It doesn't matter that Private Turner led Corporals Frank Mace and Thomas Nettle across the French countryside to the shores of Dunkirk when they were separated from their unit. It doesn't matter that the Corporals followed Private Turner willingly and never once did Private Turner take advantage of his authority. None of that matters. No. The only thing that matters now is the label placed on him by being falsely accused of a crime he did not commit before he joined the Army from prison. Don't you dare tell me to forgive my sister! Don't you fucking tell me that the past doesn't matter! Now get out!"

Briony had expected her sister's angry outburst during their conversation, but this outburst was completely unexpected. She hoped her friend would not say a word and simply leave. She was relieved when Fiona slipped out of the office. Briony was now alone with her sister in the office as she sat at the desk sobbing.

She quietly walked over to the desk and picked up the letter Cecilia had been reading. She unfolded it and read it. She felt a bit guilty as reading a letter meant for her sister was how it all began. It was a letter not addressed to Cecilia herself but "Ward Sister". It was from the prison. According to the letter, prison officials were arriving on the 21st of June to pick up Robbie.

She set the letter down and looked at her sobbing sister. It was then that she noticed the planning calendar on the Ward Sister's desk. Cecilia had been given a week holiday starting on the 21st of June. It was then that she noticed the date. It was the 20th of June. Cecilia had one more day with Robbie and she had ignored him her entire shift. Briony was sure she had hoped to take Robbie out for her holiday. She took a deep breath.

"Cee, you haven't told Robbie yet, have you?" she asked.

"I don't know how." Cecilia sobbed. "After everything he's been through, after everything he's done, how can they take him back to prison? I've witnessed Army Command come in and award medals to soldiers who have done less than what Robbie did. Robbie gets nothing! It's not fair. I love him. I waited for him."

Briony took a chance, approached her sister and rubbed her back. She was not pushed away. Her sister continued to speak through her sobbing.

"Today, I couldn't even bring myself to look at him. He's been so cheerful since he's been here. Everybody has commented to me about how much they like him. I can't watch them take him away from me again. I just can't." She replied. "I kept telling myself if I ignore him today, I can go on my holiday, come back and he'll be gone. I can tell myself that it was all just another dream."

"Cecilia, you know you'll regret not seeing him off, and you are not going to forgive yourself." Briony replied. She knew that didn't sound good but she didn't know what else to say. It broke her heart to see her older sister's tears. It broke her heart to know that she was partially responsible, mostly responsible for them.

Cecilia continued to cry. "Why did they have to pick tomorrow to take him away from me again? Why did they have to pick the 21st of June? It might have been easier if it was not June 21st."

It suddenly dawned on Briony the significance of the date. It was a hot summer day in 1935 that the housekeeper's son and the master's eldest daughter finally confessed their love for each other. Two figures by the fountain. Robbie and Cecilia in the library. Two lovers torn apart by the misguided jealous intentions of a child. All because of a lie. June 21, 1935.

Briony wrapped her arms around her sister and Cecilia leaned into the embrace.


	6. Hope

**Disclaimer** Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.

All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.

A "What if...?" Story. "What if Robbie made it home?

Love Never Dies

by

Ninja Elizabeth

**Chapter 6: Hope**

Robbie awoke feeling clean and refreshed. He looked at the nurse sitting at his bedside and immediately filled with rage. Nurse B. Tallis. Briony. Like the day of his arrival when he actually attempted it, he wanted to strangle her. But then he remembered his dream. He smiled. It wasn't a dream. It had been real after all.

"Where's Cecilia?" Robbie asked just to give Briony a bit of a fright.

Briony's heart sank. Had her sister not visited? Had she not talked to him? "Cecilia went on holiday." She answered. "Didn't she tell you I would be here at your side this morning?"

Robbie smiled. "Yes, she told me. I just kind of hoped."

"She's actually managed to get the whole week off." Briony replied. "Originally I think she was planning on going to her friend's cottage, but I think now she's going to visit your mother."

"Do you think my mother knows that I'm back?"

"I don't know, but hopefully it will be Cecilia who can break the good news." she replied.

"Bad news. I'm not coming home." Robbie responded. "But I'm really glad that Cee visits my mother. When she would visit me in prison she would always tell me how much she enjoyed seeing her."

Briony took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Robbie. I know and understand that you hate me, but I am really sorry."

Robbie nodded. "Cee told me that she still hates you and hasn't forgiven you. But you are her sister and she loves you because of that. I can accept that. Know that I still hate you and can't forgive you yet either."

"I understand. I don't expect either of you to forgive me." Briony replied. "I noticed Cee ignoring you all day yesterday and knew there was something wrong. I told her that she couldn't just let you go without seeing you off somehow."

"Thank you." He replied. "She told me about your plans to try and free me."

"Then she did see you last night."

Robbie tugged on his blanket to reveal his freshly pedicured feet and painted toenails. Briony wasn't even going to ask why her sister had painted Robbie's toes.

Breakfast was served and Robbie ate hungrily. Hospital food was by no means delicious but it certainly was better than anything he ate in the Army which was only slightly better than what he was served in prison. He savored the meal as though it was his last. When he was done he turned back to Briony.

"Do you have to work today?" he asked.

"I have a night shift. I just got off a few hours ago. Cee asked me if I could wait up with you so you wouldn't be alone when they came for you. You don't mind me being here do you?"

"She did tell me. I would rather have her at my side but I understand her reasons for not wanting to be here. I can still see the look on her face when they took me away five years ago." he replied. "I'm glad for the company. Will you thank her for me?"

"I will. She also wanted me to tell you she loves you and to remember this date not for what is to happen but what happened five years ago in the library."

"The date?" Robbie asked.

"It's June 21st, Robbie. That's why she was so upset about today."

"I didn't realize that." he responded. "Hopefully they will allow me to write to her, openly. While I'll admit it was fun to read and decipher the codes and it gave me an excuse to read her letters over and over again, I would like to simply write 'Cecilia, I love you'."

"Code?" Briony asked.

"I was getting letters from my mother. But I wasn't getting any letters from Cee." Robbie replied. "I guess she figured out that our correspondence was being monitored from my mother since she was visiting and must have heard from her that she received letters from me. I finally received a letter from her and I recall being so excited. Instead of a lovely letter it was a boring clinical description of her medical studies in her nurses training. It was written in the coldest and dry tone I didn't know what to make of it. I was kind of hurt. I had expected a love letter; instead I got a boring account of her studies. In her next letter she told me that she had found a new green dress and was writing me from a dark corner of the library. She told me that my mother had given her my copy of Grey's Anatomy and how my notes that I had left in the pages helped her with her studies. The letter I had meant to give to Cee that day five years ago was left on my book. It was then that I realized what her 'medical studies' actually meant. I was going to go to medical school. So by her mentioning 'medical studies' she was thinking of me. Intercourse described in a purely clinical sense is rather disgusting."

Briony faked laughter. She had no idea what Robbie was talking about really.

"After I realized that she was writing in code, we developed our own way of saying the things to each other that we could not actually say. 'I love you' for me was 'I wish I had a cigarette', and for her it was mentioning flowers. As I said, medical studies was her way of telling me she was thinking of me, I wanted to smell freshly cut grass. Our code for making love was 'a dark corner to read'.

"They only monitored your correspondence from my sister?"

"Yes. My mother could write me and say, 'Cecilia came to visit and told me to tell you 'I love you'' but Cecilia couldn't write that in her letters..."

"I have an idea. When you get the chance to write, send a letter to your mother, me and Cecilia all at the same time. Send both mine and Cee's letters, here to the hospital. Don't censor your letter to her but don't go overboard. If she doesn't get a letter than we will know that you are being monitored again."

Robbie nodded and closed his eyes. He relaxed and thought of Cecilia...

He had just begun to doze off convinced that Cecilia was not going to visit him. She was avoiding him, but why? His mind raced with all sorts of scenarios. It had been found out that they were lovers and she was forbidden to see him. Or worse, she had another lover and could no longer pretend to love him. Now that he was feeling better she had no need to have any contact with him.

He felt a gently hand on his cheek. He leaned into the hand an opened his eyes. His Cecilia, beautiful Cecilia was sitting next to him. Even in the dimly lit ward he could see that her eyes were swollen from tears.

"What's wrong?" He asked, fearing what she was going to say.

Cecilia put a finger to his lips to hush him and leaned in closer. "Just kiss me, darling."

Their lips met. Her kiss was hungry and passionate, much like their last kiss at the bus stop. She had kissed him many times in the ward but it was nothing like the way she kissed him now. Sometimes she would only kiss him on the cheek or on the forehead. When their lips parted, Robbie kissed her tears.

Cecilia smiled weakly and stood up extending her hand. "Come with me." she replied softly, "there isn't much time."

As he got up, he noticed that Cecilia had her shaving kit with her and fresh towels. He wondered what she was up to as she held his hand and led him out of the ward. She stopped at a door labeled 'Authorized Personnel Only'. Taking a set of keys from her pocket she opened the door and gestured for him to enter. She followed closing and locking the door behind them. She then turned on the lights.

He saw that they were in a washroom. There was a bathtub. He hoped that she was going to let him have a bath. He loved baths. It didn't matter to him who was giving him a bath. It could have been Briony and he would have been excited. Having Cecilia give it to him was certainly the best option.

Cecilia put the bundle she had been carrying on the counter next to the sink. Beside her shaving kit she lay out a change of clothes for herself, to his horror she laid out prison greys. She heard Robbie gasp and turned to face him. "I'm sorry, darling." she replied trying not to start crying again. "I received the letter and uniform a few days ago. I thought if I ignored you, I could pretend nothing happened. I could just pretend it was a dream and go on with my life. Somebody else would change you, and you would think that I didn't care."

Tears rolled down Robbie's face. "I thought you didn't want to see me anymore. I was thinking that perhaps you had fallen in love with somebody else."

"You have always been the only man I could ever love, Robbie." Cecilia replied. "Briony told me that I had to see you off. I would never forgive myself and I couldn't leave you hating me."

Robbie pulled Cecilia into his arms and held her close. "I'm glad she convinced you to see me off." he replied. "Are you talking to her again, Cee?"

Cecilia held Robbie tighter. "I'm haven't forgiven her if that is what you are asking. She's my sister. I love her as hard as that may be to believe."

"No, I understand that. I know how close your family is."

"I told Briony that I still hate her. I can't forgive her just yet. I don't know if I ever can." Cecilia replied. "She told me that she knows you didn't do it. She's going to tell the truth. We are going to do what we can to free you, but I don't want you to get your hopes up. It's not going to be easy. There might not be any chance."

"You sound like you are giving up before you even begin. You have to try!" Robbie pleaded. "We just need to gather up the witnesses. Old man Hardman, Danny..."

"Old man Hardman is dead. Danny is in the Royal Navy." Cecilia answered. "But that doesn't matter. It wasn't Danny. It was Leon's friend Paul Marshall according to Briony. That is what makes it so difficult. He will deny everything and he has the money to back him up. He will play every angle and do his best to block any attempt we make at trying to reopen the case. The bottom line is he's got money and we don't."

Robbie started to cry. Cecilia embraced the man she loved.

"Hang in there, darling. I am not going to give up now that there is a glimmer of hope." Cecilia replied. "Briony is going to a solicitor, a commissioner of oaths and make a signed and witnessed statement. I just don't want you to get your hopes up to high. It's Paul Marshall we are going after. It might not even be advised to try and go after him. I'm sure the courts will laugh at us, as his married to the woman we are accusing him of attacking."

"Call in the Army!" Robbie replied. "There's got to be a way to get some of them to testify that he's not the man he portrays or as good and noble as he makes himself out to be."

"You're sounding a bit desperate," she responded.

"I'm sorry... but I am desperate. Cee, you don't know what it's like in that prison." He cried.

"Actually, I do." Cecilia answered. "Did you hear about the Warden getting stabbed about three years ago?"

"Yes."

"I was there the first day with a couple others to treat him, until they denied me entry upon realizing that I knew a prisoner being held there." Cecilia responded. "I was only there one day and in areas that were probably kept up a lot more than the level you were on. But don't worry. I've already started to gather witnesses for you. I have Mace's contact information. He's willing to testify on your behalf as a character witness should we get that far. Nettle is going to write me with his as well, as is willing to do the same thing."

"My unit commander, General Nottingham. Try and get a hold of him. He's met Marshall and told me he was not impressed. He was grumbling about the awful chocolate we had in our packs and longed for some real chocolate. He said that Marshall was so full of hot air he wished he had a pin so he could pop him. I told him that you weren't so impressed by him either and that you thought he had public hair growing out of his ears."

"You didn't!"

"I did. He laughed and agreed with me." Robbie smiled.

Cecilia kissed him and pulled away to start the bath.

"You aren't going to get in trouble for giving me a bath are you, Cee? I wouldn't want you to get in trouble." Robbie replied.

"Merely giving you a bath, no. I can defend myself by saying that you are going back to prison. The conditions there could be worse than being on the battle field. The least I can do is give you a decent bathing before you are taken away... like my giving you a shave." Satisfied the temperature of the water was to Robbie's liking she stood up. "However, that is not all I intend to do. And yes, I can get into a lot of trouble."

Robbie smiled. He wasn't going to reject the advances of the beautiful nurse before him and kissed her passionately. As they kissed he began to undress her.

* * * * * *

"Robbie." a voice replied. "Robbie!"

Robbie looked at the nurse at his side and was slapped in the face by reality. It was Nurse B. Tallis at his side, not Ward Sister Tallis, his Cecilia. He sighed.

"I'm sorry." Briony replied. "But they are here. They are talking to Sister Drummond now. She's bringing them over." She helped Robbie put on his prison issued shoes.

It was the longest few minutes of Robbie's life... longer than waiting at the door to apologize to Cecilia for sending the wrong letter. He could hear the footfalls drawing nearer. They were at his side.

Despite him putting up no resistance, they treated him a bit roughly. Briony tried to protest but Sister Drummond kept her in check. Briony had not been allowed to attend the trial except on the days she was to testify. She had not been able to look at Robbie at all except to point him out. She thought the look on his face then was upsetting. It was nothing to the look on his face now as they shackled him.

They started to lead him away, walking much too fast. Robbie was barely able to keep up shuffling behind alongside them because of the shackles about his ankles.

"Briony! Tell Cee I love her!"

Tears filled Briony's eyes. What had she done? Was it possible to make things right?


	7. Home

**Disclaimer** Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.

All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.

A "What if...?" Story. "What if Robbie made it home?

Love Never Dies

by

Ninja Elizabeth

**Chapter 7: Home**

Cecilia arrived at the Tallis house lodge that belonged to Grace Turner. She visited Robbie's mother as often as she could but felt that it wasn't enough. She wanted to do so much more for her. The last time she visited was shortly after learning of the Army's withdrawal from France. She had left with some hope that Robbie might be coming home. She knocked on the door but there was no answer. Having a key, Cecilia let herself in and called out in case the older woman was taking an afternoon nap and had not heard her knock. No answer. She set her overnight bag down by Grace's favorite chair, and proceeded to the kitchen. By the looks of the dirty dishes in the sink, Grace had an early start and rushed to the main house.

Taking off her coat and placing in on the back of the chair, she returned to the kitchen to wash the dirty dishes.

After the dished were dried and put away, she gathered up her courage and swallowed a bit of pride, making the decision not to wait for the older woman but to seek her out. This meant walking down the Surrey path to the main house. Cecilia wanted to see Grace and tell her the news about Robbie personally. She did not want the older woman to hear the news from anyone else. Perhaps she would attempt to make amends with her family or at least pay them a visit. She would need their support after all if she and Briony had any hope of freeing Robbie.

As she locked the door behind her and turned toward the path she looked down at herself and laughed. She was a far cry from the slightly snobbish, defiant rich girl who lad left home five years ago. The only thing the dress she now wore had in common with anything she had worn back then was that it was green. It was plain and simple, almost cheap by comparison. The green halter gown she wore for Robbie would cost her today about three months rent at least. Her hair was longer and her make up more subtle. She no longer felt the need to impress anyone.

She walked down the path toward the main house. Her thoughts turned to Robbie. How many times had he made the same journey? He must have made the journey hundreds or even thousands of times. She thought of him making what would end up being his last journey that fateful afternoon, in his best suit, full of anticipation and fear, while she was in her room feeling the same trying to find 'the perfect dress' from her wardrobe.

Crossing the bridge over the dried overgrown creek bed, Cecilia realized that she was further down the path than she had ever been since leaving home.

The house she had sworn never to return to came into view. It was ugly. It had always been ugly, but it was once her home. Once her home, she thought as she got closer. It was no longer her home and she didn't' feel right merely entering it as she had when she lived there. Knocking on the door would be uncomfortable, and there was the possibility of a confrontation she was not ready for, so she opted to enter by the servant's door which led to the kitchen.

Grace Turner had finished polishing the last of the silver. She had saved the spoons for last. As she set them aside to set the table later, the door opened.

Betty turned angrily to yell at the twins who had been running about all morning long. Both women were stunned not to see the twins but familiar young woman enter.

"Cecilia?" Betty asked.

"Cecilia!" Grace responded.

"Hello, Betty, Grace." She replied noticing the polished silver. "What's the special occasion? I know it's not for the prodigal daughter's homecoming because I wasn't even planning on coming to see Grace until yesterday and I didn't inform her of my change of plans."

Betty grumbled. "Paul Marshall and his new bride are here for dinner. Everything must be perfect for 'Mr. Prima Donna' and your cousin 'Mrs. I'm rich, you're not and I don't have to work, you do.' Not that she does or ever has done anything. The twins have been running wild since breakfast and have already blasted through the kitchen more than once. The only ones they listen to are your father who has yet to arrive and your mother who is in her room claiming to have one of her migraines again."

Cecilia resented Betty's remark about her mother claiming to have a migraine. Having inherited her mother's tendency to suffer from the painful and often times debilitating headaches she felt the need to defend her. "Betty, I can assure you that my mother would not shrug off her responsibilities claiming to have a mere headache. Believe me, at the moment she is the first person in this house who would like the twins to stop running about."

Grace turned to Cecilia with the look of a worried mother. "Cecilia? Do you suffer from migraines as well?"

"Yes, I do." She answered. "In addition to the throbbing headaches, Betty, often comes sensitivity to lights and sound. And occasionally, even nausea."

Betty apologized. She explained that it was just all the built up frustration. With all the demands of the guest of honor who had arrived late last night and the uncontrollable twins, she was at her wits end. "The twins are spoiled brats. They take full advantage of your mother's migraines and father's absence. When your cousin is here all hell breaks loose as she tells your mother that she is being too harsh on them. She won't take them in because 'taking care of young children' is beneath her, yet she won't let anyone 'take care of them' when she is here. The war is keeping your father working late at the Ministry. Paul Marshall of course can't be bothered as he's a millionaire and has his factories to attend to. All he seems to do if you ask me, all he does is wave his money around and your cousin loves to spend it."

Cecilia felt a knot in the pit of her stomach. Paul Marshall it seemed had already had his claws into her family permanently by marrying her cousin Lola. Had he charmed his way into the hearts of her other family members as well? Did she and Briony really have any chance of proving Robbie's innocence?

"Are you all right, Cecilia? You look a bit pale." Betty asked.

Before Cecilia could respond, the servant door swung open wildly and the twins burst into the kitchen covered in mud. One of them was holding a frog from the bog.

"Stop right there!" Cecilia responded with the authority she used in the hospital ward.

To the amazement of Grace and Betty, the twins froze in their tracks and looked at Cecilia.

"How dare the two of you enter this kitchen covered in mud! Do you want mud in your soup?" Cecilia responded in a firm authoritative tone.

"N-no, ma'am." one of the twins replied.

"And what is the purpose of bringing that frog inside? Would you like Betty to clean it up and cook it for your supper?" Cecilia teased.

"No!" The twin holding the frog responded clutching the frog to his chest.

"Well then, I suggest to two of you march out the way you came, leave the frog outside and clean yourselves up before entering this kitchen again." Cecilia ordered. "And the next time you choose to set foot in here, I expect the two of you to act like proper gentlemen. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, ma'am." the twins replied in unison before turning to leave in a hurry, slamming the door behind them. Only a puddle of mud where they had been standing was left as evidence that they were there only moments ago.

Betty was stunned and began to laugh. "Well, that was different. How did you do that?"

Cecilia chuckled. "Ward Sister mode." she answered. "I never imagined I would need it outside of the hospital."

"You're a Ward Sister now?" Betty asked quite impressed.

"Yes, I am." Cecilia replied. "I was working at the EMS hospital near Morden until about a month ago. I'm back at St Thomas at present."

"I believe that is where your sister is doing her nurses training." Betty responded. "Did you know that she did not take her position at Cambridge? Your father was quite upset."

"Briony found my address and sent me a letter, so yes on both accounts." Cecilia replied.

Grace turned to Cecilia. "So what made you decide to walk all this way to the house? You know you are more than welcome to make yourself at home in the bungalow. That is why I gave you a key."

"I wanted to talk to you, Grace. I didn't want to wait because I wanted you to hear the news from me, not someone else." She replied. "Betty, may I steal Grace away for a few moments?"

Betty looked at her kitchen and all the work that still needed to be done. Her two kitchen hands were busy. With the twins' intrusions and Paul Marshall's insistence that everything be perfect for his bride and constant changing of the menu things were a little behind schedule. "Can it wait until later, Cecilia?" Betty asked. "We are already behind schedule and you are taking away my 'right hand'."

"I promise it won't be long. Give me a few minutes and then I'll bring her back and lend a hand."

Grace hoped Betty would say yes. She was anxious about Cecilia coming to the main house and now the news she had had to be about her son, Robbie. She wanted to know; was it good news or bad news? Either way she did not want to wait until they were allowed to sit down and have supper.

"You can't help!" The head of the kitchen exclaimed.

"Why not? I don't live here anymore." Cecilia responded. "I don't mind. I like being in the kitchen. Granted I never have the time or money to prepare anything fancy, but I can hold my own. I'm not the same person I was five years ago. Just tell me what to do, Betty."

Betty smiled. Cecilia had changed. She could see that. "All right. You can take her aside for a few minutes, but when you return, Cecilia I'm going to put you to work. No favors."

"I understand. We won't be long. Like I said, I just want Grace to hear things from me, not on the wireless, or unfriendly ears."

"We have a lot of work to do, and we do not want to disappoint 'his highness'." Betty replied as Grace and Cecilia walked out to the servants' dining area.

Cecilia chuckled. "Tell me, does he still have pubic hair growing out of his ears?" she asked as they disappeared into the dining area. She heard Betty burst out laughing. She took that as a 'yes'.

Cecilia turned to Grace. She could already see that the older woman feared the worst about what Cecilia was going to say.

"It's bad news, Cecilia, isn't it?" Grace asked.

"Not entirely." Cecilia replied. "I'm not here to tell you that's he's dead. He's alive. However he's not coming home just yet."

"Has he been sent out again?" Grace asked very worried about her baby boy. "Where has he gone? I worry about him so much when he's out there somewhere fighting."

Cecilia took a deep breath. "He's back in prison. They took him back this morning."

Grace did not know whether what Cecilia had told her was good news or bad news.

"I got to see him, Grace." Cecilia responded. "He was brought to St Thomas and I nursed him back to health."

Robbie's mother smiled. "He must have liked that." she replied. She didn't know what she hated more, her son falsely imprisoned or off abroad fighting the war. At least in prison she didn't have to worry about him being left behind, and forgotten... just another fallen soldier.

"He asked me to marry him." Cecilia smiled. "Naturally, I said 'yes'. I don't know when we will officially be able to marry, but now we are officially engaged. He said he wanted to marry me in one of his letters from the field."

"That is wonderful. You know I consider you my daughter already. I know you will make my son a fine wife." Grace replied. "I hope I get to witness the two of you getting married one day, even it's in prison."

"Briony and I are going to do what we can to free him, Grace."

"Briony?" Grace asked. "Have you forgiven her? I won't hold it against you if you have, but I don't think I can."

"I haven't forgiven her, but I have accepted her apology. She's my little sister, Grace. She's going to tell the truth in front of a solicitor and change her evidence. If we can get the case reopened I have two soldiers who are willing to testify as character witnesses on Robbie's behalf."

"The truth? How do you know she's not going to lie again?"

"How do you know she wasn't telling the truth that night, Grace, and we were wrong about Robbie?"

Grace was stunned at what she heard. "Cecilia! How can you even think that Robbie could have raped that girl!"

"I don't, Grace. I was just saying... I'm sorry. I was just making a point." Cecilia responded. "I was shocked that everyone so readily believed that Robbie could have attacked my cousin. It hurt when mother accepted Briony's story over my version. Briony told me who it really was, Grace, and based on certain events and what Betty has said, it's not going to be easy. I fear all is lost if he's gotten to the old man."

It was Grace's turn to feel sick. Cecilia didn't actually state who the real attacker was but Grace could figure it out. "Your father, Cee, believes in Robbie. He has told me time and time again that he is sorry for not standing up for you. But he loves your mother very much and he did not want to hurt her by going against her. He's told me many times that he made the wrong decisions. He excused himself by telling himself that he wasn't there that night and should not get involved, but when Robbie was convicted he realized it was too late. Talk to your father. He's due to arrive soon. Talk to him and tell him how much you love Robbie."

She hadn't seen anyone from her family save Leon who waited for her outside the hospital on a few occasions since she left home. She hadn't carried on any kind of a serious conversation with him since returning less than triumphantly from Cambridge and that one wasn't the most pleasant. The exchanged words every once in a while, the last time was on the phone when he told her Robbie was going to medical school. She knew that he wasn't actually telling her that Robbie was going to medical school, but again chastising her about her poor finish and asking her what she was going to be doing with her life. "I haven't really talked to him in years. I did a lot of things with him when I was little... but then he got busy."

"He's been so busy with work lately, but when he comes home he's always here for the family. He loves to spend time with your mother." Grace replied. "He regrets not standing up for Robbie. He's been looking for a chance to redeem himself. Talk to him. Give him a chance, Cee."

Cecilia nodded. "I'll talk to him."

At that moment, Betty burst into the dining area. Exasperated, the kitchen head spoke. "I'm sorry, but I need you back. His highness has just paid us a visit and insists we make him and _his_ guests a 'scrumptious desert' with the _delicious_ chocolate he had delivered. Honestly, I don't know what he thinks we can do with fifty pounds of chocolate." she replied. "Mind you, Grace, he still wants us to make the cobblers as requested this morning."

Grace sighed, and she and Cecilia followed Betty back into the kitchen. As if it there wasn't enough going on in the kitchen already, now there were fifty pounds of chocolate taking up much needed space.

Jack Tallis drove up the Surrey path toward his home. Finally! He did not feel the least bit guilty leaving the fellows back at the Ministry. He missed his wife, and just wanted to get away. He hated this war. It was making everybody crazy. There were those who wanted to 'kill them all' and those who believed in 'negotiations'. Jack agreed with his colleges that Hitler a mad man who needed to be stopped at all costs, but by no means did he want to 'kill them all'. No, that would be no better than Hitler's 'Jewish cleansing'.

He continued his drive and pushed thoughts of the war and work away. His home was his getaway. Never bring work home he always told himself. He thought of his beautiful wife. He knew she probably suspected he was having an affair with a beautiful young secretary or something. The truth was, he did have a beautiful young secretary, and she did come on to him. It disturbed him, however. One, he was married and still loved his wife dearly. Two, she was young enough to be his daughter and that was very wrong. The very thought of having an affair with her would be like having an affair with his own daughter.

He pulled up to the house only to find his parking spot occupied by a grey Rolls Royce Phantom III. He grumbled. This was his home. He did not care how much money Paul Marshall had, this was his home and Marshall's car was in his parking spot. He had married his wife's niece but that did not give him the right to park in his parking spot. He sighed and parked elsewhere.

Entering the house, Jack called out to his wife. "Emmie! Emmie, dear." He got the attention of not his wife, but Paul Marshall who immediately went into a pitch to buy stock in his chocolate factory. Ignoring him he called out to his wife again. "Emily!"

This time his son acknowledged. At least he was informative.

"Daddy, Emily is up in her room with one of her migraines again." Leon replied.

Jack could tell by his son's tone that he did not believe in his mother's illness. "Thank you, Leon." he responded trying to push by Paul Marshall and get up the stairs to his room to check on Emily. Marshall was insistent on speaking to him about investing. Jack saw no other choice but to acknowledge him. "Mr. Marshall, I have not been home in several months. I have not seen my wife in all that time. I am home. When at home, I do not wish to discuss business." he responded. "I have a beautiful secretary. If you wish to discuss business with me, stop by the Ministry and talk to her. Make an appointment."

"You need to act fast." Marshall responded as though he had not heard a single word Jack had said. "I'm holding some prime stock for you. I can't do that forever. With our busy schedules, I'm sure you will agree that now is the best time to talk. Even the common folk are clamoring to buy stock in my 'Army Ammo' bars."

Jack sighed. He did not want to invest in Marshall's chocolate, especially the Army Ammo bars. As a member of the Ministry of Defense, he was part of the committee formed to decide what went into the soldiers' packs and had a taste of the chocolate. He hated it. He and a couple others were outnumbered and the Army Ammo was included. Boost morale? Whose morale? Certainly hard as rock sugar casing covered horrid tasting chocolate wouldn't be boosting any hungry soldier's morale. No, the only morale boosting the chocolate did was for the pompous man standing between him and his dear Emily. "Right now, I am going to see my wife. Please excuse me." He shoved Marshall out of his way.

"We will work out the deal later, Jack." Marshall responded completely undaunted.

Jack half expected Marshall to follow him up the stairs, but he remained where he had shoved him. He had liked Marshall at first. Originally he thought that his son's friendship with the man would give Leon some backbone, a sense of taking charge. Instead, his son picked up the worst attributes most noted, a sense of self indulgence.

He reached the door to the bedroom he shared with his wife and opened it slowly so not to make too much noise and disturb her. She lay on her back eye mask over her eyes to keep out the light. She did not stir as he closed the door slowly behind him.

"Emmie, dear." he replied softly.

Now, she stirred lifting her eye mask, squinting painfully in the light. "Jack, darling. You made it. How is everything?"

"Not so good I'm afraid." he responded as he made his way to her side and kissed her on the cheek.

"Would you be a dear and check on Betty in the kitchen?" Emily asked. "I'm afraid I haven't been much of a hostess today, and I'm sure that retched man has been overwhelming her with demands about dinner preparations. Will you tell her that I'm sorry?"

"Of course." Jack left his wife's side to allow her to wait out her migraine. There were those, like his son who thought Emily was faking her headaches. Leon even told him to his face to stop falling for her tricks. He did not scold his son at the time, but instead told him to keep his opinions to about how he treated his wife until he had one of his own. Then and only then would he be allowed to give him council on the matter.


	8. A New Start

**Disclaimer** Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.

All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.

A "What if...?" Story. "What if Robbie made it home?

Love Never Dies

by

Ninja Elizabeth

**Chapter 8: A New Start**

Jack Tallis made it to the kitchen managing to avoid Paul Marshall. It was in a state of chaos, more so than usual. Betty noticed him and suddenly panicked.

"Relax, Betty," he responded calmly. "Emily asked me to check and see how things are going. She apologizes for not being a better hostess today. Paul Marshall driving you toward insanity?"

Betty let out a frustrated grunt. "That, sir, is an understatement." She replied. "Good thing Mr. Marshall's visits to my kitchen have come without a sharp object in my hand; otherwise I may have skewered him with it.

Jack chuckled. He always appreciated what Betty did in the kitchen and how she handled things. He also knew that she was only half kidding. "He doesn't know how lucky he is then." Jack snickered. He looked around. "What's for dinner?"

"Filet mignon with pommes boulangere, salade Francaise avec Poires and for an appetizer, ___Vichyssoise." _

"What? I didn't understand any of that." Jack replied. He relied on his colleges to translate French.

Betty chuckled. "Fillet steak with a potato onion bake, French green salad with pears and an appetizer of cold potato leek soup."

"Well! Why didn't you say so? We are not French." he laughed knowing that Marshall probably used the more 'elegant' sounding French.

"That's what I said to Mr. Marshall." Betty replied. "If you ask me, it's worse than cooking a roast on a hot summer day."

"Oh? How so?" Jack asked.

"With a roast one just puts it in the oven with the fixings and vegetables and lets it cook. When it's ready, let it rest to set the juices in, then slice it for serving. Each cut of filet mignon," Betty responded over pronouncing the French, "must be prepared separately and just before it's ready to serve to ensure its hot and prepared to everyone's liking. Timing is of essence as the one with the rarest steak must be timed so it is not over cooked or cold when the well done steak is done. And one must be careful not to overcook or burn the well done steak. Let's not even talk about what's for dessert."

"Let's please!" Jack replied with excitement.

Betty shook her head and smiled. She knew Jack was asking to allow her to vent her frustration but he was also curious. Dessert was always his favorite part of any meal. "Peach and strawberry crumble."

"But I don't like crumble." Jack pouted.

"I tried to tell Mr. Marshall that when he shoved the menu in my face this morning, which I might add has been changed three times already." Betty replied. "The latest being an order to make a 'delicious chocolate desert'."

"Chocolate?" Jack perked up. "You know I love chocolate."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, sir, but the chocolate was hand delivered by Marshall Confectionary. All fifty pounds of it."

Jack made a face. "Fifty pounds? What on Earth are we going to do with fifty pounds of that awful stuff?" he asked mostly to himself. "I'm sure whatever you girls come up with it will be delicious. I'll make sure Marshall doesn't take all the credit. Which one of you is going to make dessert?"

Betty pointed over to Cecilia who was looking through Betty's recipes. She didn't think anything of it until Jack started toward her. Ever since she had called her and Grace back into the kitchen, Cecilia fit right in and volunteered to make the dessert having inherited her father's taste for sweets.

"I haven't seen you before," Jack responded. "When did I hire you?"

"I beg your pardon?" Cecilia responded. She had not been paying attention and had not noticed her father's arrival. She had been looking through Betty's various recipes for chocolate and there were quite a few of them which did not surprise her given her father's fondness for it.

"I don't recognize you." Jack replied. "You have quite a task in front of you, making a tasty dessert out of the horrible Marshall chocolate. I love chocolate."

Cecilia chuckled realizing that her father had no idea who she was. She also felt a bit hurt. Had she been away for so long that her own father did not even recognize her? "I have a few ideas, and I know what you tend to like."

That voice! He recognized it now, and could not believe it. "Little Cee! What are you doing in the kitchen?"

"Attempting to make dessert." She responded. "Actually I wanted to talk to Grace and didn't feel like waiting for her. Betty put me to work. She's a slave driver! I knew I should have stayed at the bungalow."

Jack smiled. "You share my sweet tooth and my taste for chocolate don't you? I look forward to seeing and tasting what you can come up with." he replied. "Please tell me you find Marshall chocolate as horrid as I do."

"Oh, father! You must try Marshall's simply scrumptious 'chocktail' made with his melted dark chocolate and rum!" Cecilia responded completely over exaggerating her enthusiasm.

Jack laughed. "I'll make a note to avoid that. Besides, I don't care for rum." He turned to leave.

"Um, father. Could you find the time to talk with me later?" Cecilia asked a bit tentatively.

"For you, Little Cee, anything." he replied pinching her cheek just to see her cringe. "That is if I can pry Marshall off me long enough. That obnoxious man is relentless in his pursuit to sell me stock in his company. Leon must have mentioned my sweet tooth."

Cecilia nodded. She missed hearing her father call her Little Cee. It was always Lil' Leo, Little Cee, and Little B-nee when they were younger. She was the only one he continued to call Little Cee. Everyone else got called by their full names as they grew older.

When he was gone, Betty, Grace and Cecilia looked at each other then burst out laughing. The two young girls helping out in the kitchen had no idea why and neither did the three older ladies.

A few moments later after order had been reestablished in the kitchen, Betty and crew received another visitor. This one was not as welcome as the master of the house. Grace turned away, Cecilia continued to gather information for her dessert, and Marshall could care less about the younger help, leaving Betty to deal with him.

"Hello ladies," Marshall replied with false cheerfulness, eyeing the chocolate that he had delivered. "I see my chocolate arrived safely. I trust that the three of you can come up with something truly spectacular to do with my chocolate."

Betty covered the pot of stew that she had been stirring and turned to Marshall with the wooden spoon in her hand. She looked at the spoon and cursed to herself. She then turned to Marshall with such a pleasant face that the two younger girls had to turn away or risk bursting out in laughter. "Oh we will, sir. Thank you so much for your generosity in providing the chocolate!"

"You are very welcome. It was my pleasure." Marshall replied drinking up the praise. "I'm sure this meal will be scrumptious and truly worthy of my lovely bride. And if your meal tonight comes anything close to the last meal I was served the last time I was here, Betsy, I might just share my recipe for my delicious 'chocktail' with you. If I may, I would like to prepare it tonight. I think it would make a lovely compliment to the crumble don't you think?"

If Betty was annoyed by Marshall calling her by the wrong name, she did not show it. Nor did she voice any objections to Marshall invading her kitchen. Instead she continued to put on her happy face. "Oh thank you, Mr. Marshall!" she replied. "That sounds like a wonderful idea."

"I do hope you show some innovation as well." Marshall replied. "Did you know chocolate is not just for dessert? Chefs in the city are using it in savory dishes as well. Please feel free to modify the menu as you see fit to include chocolate."

With that, Marshall left the kitchen, stating that he had business to attend to.

Cecilia sighed. She was sure his 'business' was hounding her father to invest in his company.

Betty let out an exasperated scream. Grace and Cecilia laughed.

" 'Did you know chocolate is not just for dessert? Chefs in the city are using it in savory dishes as well. Please feel free to modify the menu as you see fit to include chocolate.' " Betty quoted. "Oh, the nerve of that man! You do realize we do not have a choice. That was not a suggestion but a request. And I do so hope he tells me that recipe. You should see the mess he leaves me to clean up."

"Have you tasted the 'chocktail', Betty?" Cecilia asked.

"No." Betty answered. "Considering his invasion and the mess he left behind you'd think he would have at least allowed me a taste."

"On the contrary. You should consider yourself fortunate." Cecilia responded. "However on the subject of chocolate as a savory application, when I was promoted to Ward Sister, Marjorie treated me to dinner. We had fillet steak with a chocolate mustard sauce. It was quite delicious. I don't know how Marshall's chocolate will taste if made into that sauce. But it's worth a try."

"Sounds interesting enough." Betty replied. "Since you've tasted it, would you care to make it?"

"I guess it wouldn't be too hard." Cecilia replied. "I've figured out my dessert. I need to start that up first."

(-)

After Sister Drummond had finished speaking with the prison officials and Robbie was gone, Briony knocked on the office door and asked Sister Drummond if she could talk to her. Sister Drummond nodded. She had an idea what Nurse Tallis wanted, but asked anyway.

"What did you want to speak to me about, Tallis?" She asked.

"It's about some time off." Briony replied.

"Some time off? You've hardly earned some time off," she teased.

"I am aware of that, but I wanted to request a weekday off. Usually you schedule my day off on a weekend," Briony replied. "I don't know how much my sister has told you about our past, but I wanted to see if you could schedule us together. I'm going to see a solicitor about changing my evidence against Robbie before a judge. I thought Cee would want to come along."

"I'm sure she would." Sister Drummond replied. "I know of your past and the relationship with your sister. I'm going to schedule a day off with Nurse Bennet. She is my most trusted assistant and she will serve as your witness. Having Cecilia, your sister and Robbie's lover there might be seen as coercion by the court. Make the appointment, and inform me of the date. I will adjust the schedule to accommodate you."

"Thank you, Ward Sister." Briony could not believe it was just that easy. She was half expecting the Ward Sister to take advantage of the fact that she was standing in front of her an discipline her for something. Surely there had to be something.

Sister Drummond looked up at the nurse still standing in front of her desk. "Is there something else you wanted, Tallis?" she asked.

"No. No. Nothing. I was just leaving. Thank you again, Ward Sister." With that, Briony turned and left the office heading straight for the dorms. She was exhausted and needed to get some sleep before her next shift.

After dressing for bed, Briony lay in her bed staring at the ceiling. She tried to sleep, but she couldn't. She kept seeing the look on Robbie's face or hearing the sobs of her sister. What had she done? She thought she had understood what she had done and was ready to make amends but now she knew that she was only scratching the surface and that there was damage that might never be undone. It was all her fault. She had to find some way of making it up to Robbie and Cecilia, she just had to.

Why? It was a question she asked herself thousands upon thousands of times over the years, and one that she could not simply answer. There was no simple answer. Jealousy was the easy way out. It was deeper than that. Why did she do what she did? She had told herself that she wasn't in love with him after she threw herself in the water for him to save her but was she? What was it like to be in love? She had always envisioned Robbie as the 'prince' or 'dashing hero' in her stories. He was still a prince in her eyes with his blue eyes and warm smile. So why did she hurt him so? Why had she betrayed him? Why had it been so easy to lie?

She figured when she could answer her questions for herself it would be much easier to explain her actions to Robbie and Cecilia and easier for them to forgive her. Until then she just had to keep on trying to find the answers.

(-)

Dinner was ready to be served. Jack never did manage to visit again. Everyone was seated at the table waiting for the service to begin. Jack sat at the head of the table. His wife sat at the opposite end. The Marshalls were at Jack's right, Leon beside them. Jackson and Pierrot sat at Jack's left. To Emily's right was a setting for her daughter Cecilia which she always insisted be set.

Jack stood up and toasted Paul Marshall and his bride, Lola Quincy. Everyone raised their glasses of champagne, Jackson and Pierrot, juice. Marshall was anxious to say a few words but Jack ignored him and turned to his wife. Emily stood up and said a few kind words to her niece and despite her true feelings, welcomed Marshall into her family. Marshall barely waited for Emily to take her seat when he stood up and proclaimed his love for his beautiful bride. He turned to Jack and welcomed him as one of his investors. He then took his seat and clapped his hands to signal for the service to begin.

"Betsy!" Marshall replied.

Betty, Grace and Cecilia brought out the first course. Betty did her best not to show any anger about being called 'Betsy'. Cecilia tried not to show disgust as she placed bowls of the cold soup in front of Marshall and her cousin. She tried not to cry as she noticed the empty table setting next to her mother set aside for her. No one noticed that the prodigal daughter was serving them. If Jack noticed, he didn't let it on to the others.

With the soup served, Betty, Grace and Cecilia returned to the kitchen. Now the hard work was to begin. Preparing the main course. Grace noticed the tears on Cecilia's face which she was trying to hide.

"Are you all right, dear?" Grace asked with motherly concern. She had an idea what was bothering her. Cecilia had always been so close to her family, especially her mother. What happened five years ago had hurt her so much.

"Has my mother always set a place for me?" Cecilia asked wiping her tears trying unsuccessfully not to cry.

Grace pulled Cecilia into a motherly embrace. "Yes, she has." Grace replied. "After the trial, not a day has gone by where your mother has not told me how much she misses you or told me how sorry she is. I've since told her to stop. As a mother I understand the instinct to protect one's children. Don't hate your mother, Cee. I've forgiven her. We've talked many times about that night. I told her that what I hated her for was her rush to judgment that night, for paying attention only to Lola and Briony and not considering the older more experienced minds that evening, namely you."

Cecilia nodded. "That's why it hurt so much... when she wouldn't listen to me. She didn't even come to me for comfort that evening! She wouldn't let me near her. I was always the one who comforted her when she had a migraine. I was the only one she let lay with her when she had a migraine. I was always the one she asked to do the little things for her. But that night, as soon as Leon and I returned, I might as well have turned invisible. I tried to help her, talk to her but she turned me away."

Betty joined in the conversation. "Don't be so harsh on your mother, Cecilia. It didn't surprise me in the slightest when Grace informed me that you were training to become a nurse. You are in many ways a lot like your mother, always wanting to help others, take care of everyone." she replied. "She was so very overwhelmed that day. Your father was working late at the Ministry with the threat of war on the horizon. Your Aunt Hermione leaving your Uncle Cecil and the subsequent dumping of their children here to be taken care of. Your brother Leon coming home and bringing his chocolate millionaire friend over for dinner as potential husband for you. You had become distant upon your return from Cambridge. Is it any wonder your mother stayed in bed all day with a migraine? It's enough to give anyone a headache if you ask me."

Cecilia pulled away from Grace and turned to Betty. "Are you telling me that it was all my fault that day? That I should have done more to help out? I was so lost in my own world that I didn't care about anyone but myself. I was worse than Briony and her fantasy worlds. But none of it would have happened if Leon hadn't invited Robbie to dinner. He knew Robbie would be too much of a gentleman to refuse the invitation. All Leon wanted to do was embarrass him! If anything, it's Leon's fault, not mine!"

"I'm not accusing you of anything." Betty replied. "In some ways, I think you should be grateful to Leon for inviting Robbie to dinner that night, otherwise we might have been toasting the soon to be 'Mrs. Paul Marshall' that evening. If you had not gone off to greet Robbie at the door, I'm sure Marshall would have proposed before dinner."

"I would have refused." Cecilia replied.

"No you wouldn't have, Cecilia, and you know it. Not in the presence of your mother and brother. It would have been your duty to accept and provide for the family. You would have done your duty as eldest daughter despite your growing love for Robbie, the housekeeper's son. That was one of the reasons you woke later than usual, spent part of the afternoon with your sister and the rest hand picking flowers. You did everything to avoid doing anything that day."

Cecilia clutched her hand to the ID tags she had hidden beneath her blouse. She sighed. Betty was right. She would have accepted Paul Marshall's proposal that day out of a sense of duty. But things had turned out differently for whatever reason. Although they weren't together the way she had hoped, she was with Robbie. She knew that one day they would live their dream together.

"I'm sorry. It was out of line for me to speak to you like that." Betty replied in response to Cecilia's silence.

"No, it's all right. You're absolutely right about me, at least at that time, but not anymore." Cecilia replied. "I turned my back on everyone because I chose to. I left home not because I did not feel welcome, but because I no longer wanted to live here. It was my choice. I've accepted Briony's apology for her actions that night. Maybe it's time I talked to my mother and try to heal the wounds between us now."

"Oh please do!" Betty exclaimed with a bit of sarcasm. "Perhaps then your mother will stop taking in refugees!"

Grace laughed and agreed. When Cecilia questioned them about the refugees, she got quite an earful. The two ladies went back and forth describing their snobbery, overzealous religious beliefs and practices, unruly and disrespectful children that made the twins look like angels, the broken and lost arm of the Triton fountain, and the final straw, the breaking and denial of doing so of Uncle Clem's vase.

Cecilia burst out laughing at the mention of Uncle Clem's vase breaking. Betty glared at her. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry my mother put you through all that. I'm sorry father yelled at you for breaking the vase but I can assure you that those kids were telling the truth. They did not break that vase."

Betty looked at Cecilia suspiciously. "And what do you know about that vase?"

"The handle broke off in your hand, didn't it?" Cecilia asked.

"Cecilia! It was you, wasn't it?" Betty exclaimed.

"Well, me and Robbie." she replied sheepishly. "Five years ago to the day actually."

Grace turned to Cecilia. "Now how does Robbie fit into all this?"

Cecilia laughed. "He was outside." she replied. "Mother asked me to gather some fresh flowers and place them in Uncle Clem's vase with some water and take it up to the room wehre Paul Marshall would be staying. I got the flowers. I took off my shoes and noticed Robbie outside rolling a cigarette, so I decided to take the vase outside to fill it in the fountain."

Betty was puzzled. "Why on Earth would you go outside in the heat to fill the vase with that filthy fountain water when you could have come into the kitchen to fill it?" she asked.

Grace snickered.

"If I walked out to the fountain, I would have to walk past Robbie."

Betty and Grace burst out laughing.

"Oh, you poor thing. You were madly in love with him, weren't you?" Betty teased.

"Still am, I'm afraid." Cecilia replied. "I think I've embarrassed myself enough for one evening, so let's just say, that the vase broke as a result of my being my usual stubborn self and Robbie the perfect gentleman. I am certainly not going to elaborate on what I did after we broke the vase."

Betty shook her head. As much as she did want to hear exactly what had happened, Cecilia was right in calling herself stubborn and if she didn't want to say any more she wasn't going to say any more. "Well, then, we have the steaks to prepare, and you the sauce. We don't want to keep 'his highness' waiting."


	9. Understanding

**Disclaimer** Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.

All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.

A "What if...?" Story. "What if Robbie made it home?

Love Never Dies

by

Ninja Elizabeth

**Chapter 9: Understanding...**

Briony awoke and looked at her clock. She had forgotten to set the alarm! She was late for her shift. She dressed herself quickly and rushed to where the duty roster was posted. She was relieved. She was stationed in the laundry processing area to sort and fold the laundry. Nowhere near the bedpans. She was tired of bedpans, clean or dirty.

She made her way to the laundry room hoping that she had not been missed. She had just made it to the door and was about to open it when she heard someone speak behind her.

"Tallis, you're over an hour late." the authoritative voice of Sister Drummond responded.

Briony swallowed and turned to face the Ward Sister. "I'm sorry, Sister Drummond, but I forgot to set my alarm." she replied knowing that the Ward Sister did not like to hear excuses for tardiness. "I just couldn't get the look on Robbie's face out of my mind and the sound of my sister's cries haunted my dreams."

"You stayed up after your shift to sit with Private Turner until he was taken away, didn't you?" the Ward Sister asked.

"Yes, I did. Cecilia, Sister Tallis, didn't want him to be alone. She asked me to sit with him because she couldn't bear to see him taken away again."

Sister Drummond sighed. "Just this once, Tallis, I'm going to let you off without being disciplined. Do not let it happen again" With that she walked away.

Briony watched her as the briskly walked down the corridor toward the main part of the ward. So Sister Drummond did have a heart after all. She turned to the door and opened it to start her shift with a new determination. She didn't want to let her sister or Sister Drummond down.

She noticed the pile of laundry on the counter and no one else in the room. Where was Fiona, she thought. She had seen her name alongside hers on the roster. Shrugging it off, she started to fold.

"Oh, you made it!" Fiona responded bringing in the cart for them to put the sorted and folded laundry on. "I passed Sister Drummond in the corridor. She was waiting for you. Did she read you the riot act for being late?"

"Actually, no." Briony replied. Now that she was in the company of her friend she wasn't sure if she liked the idea of working with her today or not. "I was quite surprised."

"Lucky you. I was a mere five minutes late and got quite an earful." Fiona quipped. She then gave a little chuckle. "The rumors really must be true then if Sister Drummond didn't yell at you."

Briony looked at her friend. "What rumors?" she asked, dreading what she would say.

"The ones about Sister Drummond and Sister Tallis having an affair. Rumor has it that Sister Drummond personally requested Sister Tallis' transfer here from the EMS." Fiona answered. "You are Sister Tallis' sister after all."

Briony felt angry and somewhat betrayed. She could still hear her sister's sobs and see the look on Robbie's face. "There is absolutely NOTHING going on between Sister Drummond and my sister, is that clear?"

"Oh, come on! Everybody can see it!" Fiona laughed. "Take what just happened, Briony. She, Sister Drummond, the tyrant, the Ice Queen, didn't yell at you for being over an hour late, and yet I got an earful for being merely five minutes late. Surely she's playing favorites because your Sister Tallis' little sister."

"They are merely friends, like us, Fiona. I suspect the reason she was nice to me today is she knows how much Robbie means to my sister, and that my sister asked me to wait up with him until he was taken away to prison." Briony replied. "Robbie Turner is the nicest man you could ever meet and my sister loves him with all her heart. He's asked my sister to marry him."

"Robbie Turner?" Fiona asked. "Wasn't that the name of the soldier who tried to strangle you when he was brought in?"

"Yes." Briony answered.

"You're sister is going to marry that man?" Fiona asked a bit shocked. "If he's so sweet why was he taken to prison? What did he do? And why did he try to strangle you?"

"He was delirious with fever, Fi." Briony replied. It was true. Robbie was delirious. Robbie would never hurt her despite how much he hated her. Hurting or taking advantage of anybody was not in Robbie's nature.

"How did your sister meet such a man?" Fiona asked. "Meeting a soldier sounds so romantic, although hearing a Navy man's tales of the sea sounds much more romantic than an Army man's tales of marching around. Does your sister know of his crimes?"

Briony wanted to slap some sense into her friend. All she ever talked about was the romance of meeting/being with an officer in the Royal Navy. She still held onto her ridiculous romantic dreams even after being inundated with the realities of the war in the ward. Briony realized that she had once seen romance the way Fiona did, but a harsh dose of reality changed that. Very few romances were like the kinds one read in the two penny novels. She laughed. Robbie and Cecilia's relationship would fit right in. The rich girl and the servant, both wanting and yearning but not admitting their love for one another until it was too late, torn apart by a horrible misunderstanding and war. "Cecilia knows what he was accused of. She was there. So was I. It wasn't true. I thought I knew more than I did. I thought I understood what was going on and wanted more than anything to protect my sister, and instead destroyed her happiness."

"Wait! I heard about that case. I thought your name sounded familiar when I met you. My mother was so worried about me falling in love with one of the local boys asking him to find me a rich millionaire to marry, because the local boys couldn't be trusted. Sex maniacs." Fiona replied. "Imagine! Raping an innocent fifteen year old! How can your sister love a man like that? Is she out of her mind? How can you defend her like you do?"

"Robbie didn't do it!" Briony shouted. "And my cousin was hardly innocent. She fancied herself to be much more mature than she actually was. Of course, I didn't see that as a fantasizing thirteen year old, but I can see it now."

"That letter. How do you explain that?" Fiona asked. "I remember my father going on about that letter. How could that monster write such a thing and give it to you? Briony, open your eyes. He gave that letter to you."

"He gave it to me to give to Cecilia!" Briony again screamed. "I betrayed them both by reading it. My sister and Robbie were in love, and I betrayed them."

"You testified in court, didn't you?" Fiona asked. "I recall my father being horrified that a girl the same age as me was put up on the stand to face the monster who raped her cousin."

Tears streamed down Briony's cheeks. For the first, she cried. She had not cried before surrounding the events of that fateful day in June. "Robbie didn't do it!" she cried. "I was jealous and angry that he cared about my sister more than he did me. When I thought he was trying to harm her, all I wanted to do was protect her. I felt that I was her only witness to what he was doing and I had to protect my sister. Only what I thought I saw wasn't what I saw. I didn't understand what was going on. I couldn't see everything, and I didn't hear what they were saying."

"What did you see?"

"I saw the two of them by the fountain." Briony replied. "I thought Robbie ordered my sister to remove her clothes, because she started to unbutton her blouse. I turned away. When I did look back my sister was climbing out of the fountain. She put her clothes back on and stormed away."

"Oh my goodness! That's horrible!" Fiona responded. "What a monster! It's a good thing your sister has a little sister like you to look after her. She's so ungrateful. How can she hate you?"

"Because it didn't happen the way I thought it did! Robbie didn't force Cecilia to remove her clothes to jump into the fountain. Cee did it on her own."

Fiona laughed. "That's ridiculous. Why would she do such a thing?" she asked. "It had to be Robbie. Your sister is being stupid. Why is she protecting that monster?"

"Robbie isn't a monster!" Briony exclaimed.

"How do you explain that letter he wrote to you, then?"

"It was a mistake. It was the wrong version. Cecilia has the right version." Briony responded. "Robbie trusted me to deliver the letter to my sister. He asked me for a favor to run ahead and give the letter to Cee because he felt foolish to be handing it to her himself. I opened it and read it. I shouldn't have. Naturally, I misinterpreted it due to what I had thought I saw earlier that day, and it made what I was about to see later as a bad thing. When my cousin was attacked I jumped to conclusions."

Briony didn't want to talk about the subject any longer. She excused herself to go and fetch another cart of laundry. She hoped that when she returned Fiona would no longer be interested in the subject. Briony sighed and realized however just what a daunting task it was going to be to convince people that she had lied, that Robbie was innocent.

(-+-+-+-+-)

It wasn't until after dessert and everyone had left the dining room to gather in the drawing room for cocktails did Betty and her crew finally get the chance to relax and enjoy their supper. Betty brought to the table in the servants' dining room a large pot of stew that she had simmering on the stove all day. Grace set the table while the two younger kitchen workers brought what was left of the juice and some water. The champagne was gone.

"I hope you don't mind beef stew, Cecilia." Betty asked. "On a chaotic day like today, stew is the easiest thing to prepare. Just throw everything into the pot and let it simmer all day."

Cecilia smiled. "I don't mind one bit, Betty." she replied. "I love your stew. It's been a while since I've eaten it. Besides, a slow simmering stew is a luxury that I can't afford."

Judith, the older of the two kitchen workers, laughed at Cecilia. "Boy, you sure are stupid or simple minded."

"I beg your pardon?" Cecilia asked turning to Judith.

"I said you are either stupid or simple minded." Judith repeated. "How can you consider something as simple as beef stew as luxury? It's just made of scraps. It's cheap. Now filet mignon. That's a luxury."

"Luxury does not always mean having money. If you think that then it is you who is simple minded." Cecilia replied. "For me, time is a luxury. Unless I am on holiday, I don't have the time to simmer a stew all day. I generally have to stay at home and be prepared to report to duty at a moment's notice. I can't leave my flat with something on the stove when I go out shopping. My days off change and when I do have a day off, I come and visit Grace. Not to mention I don't have an ice box that works well enough to store meat for very long."

"You have no right to lecture me, new girl. Just who do you think you are anyway?" Judith responded not at all impressed.

"I am Cecilia Emily Tallis, second child and eldest daughter of your employer Jack Tallis." she replied turning to Betty. "Betty, I noticed an extra steak."

Judith did not believe her. Why the eldest daughter would be helping them in the kitchen?

"Yes. It's yours if you want it." Betty replied. "Would like me to prepare it for you?"

"No. I want your stew." Cecilia replied sincerely. "I used to eat leftovers with Robbie, remember?"

Betty smiled. "Yes, I remember." she recalled fondly. "The two of you made such a cute couple, even as children."

Cecilia blushed, and then turned back to Judith. "You don't deserve it, but you can have my steak. It would be a shame to waste it. If you consider it such a luxury then you have a lot to learn. Money does not buy happiness."

Cecilia sat down at the table with Grace as Betty served the stew. Judith gave Betty a look. Betty turned to her.

"If you want the steak, prepare it yourself. You know how to cook." Betty replied. "I'm tired and hungry."

In a huff, Judith left and went to prepare the steak. Betty turned to Cecilia.

"You were like that once, you know." she responded.

"I know," Cecilia replied softly. "I never realized how much of a snob I was until everyone turned on Robbie. Even at Cambridge I never really talked to him. He was the housekeeper's son, a servant. Of course he would have done it. It couldn't have possibly have been anyone else. I had finally accepted my love for him and it was the best feeling in the world. It didn't matter to me that he was the housekeeper's son anymore. He was just my Robbie."

(-+-+-+-+-+)

Finally, Jack Tallis was rid of Paul Marshall who had decided to retire for the evening. He envied his wife during times like this when she could excuse herself because of her migraines. He had no such option. Instead he had to endure Marshall's reports of his success and bragging about his recent contract with the Royal Navy to supply the soldiers with chocolate along with the Royal Army. He had to put up with him insisting he invest in his company.

He headed for the kitchen hoping that his daughter was there waiting for him. He was a bit surprised at the sight of her washing the dishes.

"Cecilia!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing? Where are Grace, Betty and the others?"

Looking toward the direction of the voice she smiled at the sight of her father. "I sent them to bed. I had no idea what time you would be here. Since I was going to wait up for you I told Betty that I would clean up. Are you ready to talk, or has Mr. Marshall turned your brain to mush?"

"He must have turned my brain to mush. Did I actually hear you say that you told Betty you would clean up?" Jack teased. "Little Cee, are you ill?"

Cecilia laughed. She never realized what a reputation she had at home when it came to cleaning up after herself. She missed her father's teasing. "Little Cee is still a slob as evident if you were to visit her flat in Balham. However, Sister Tallis cannot afford to be as it would cost her her job, and quite possibly somebody's life, so she is quite clean and meticulous." she replied wiping her hands with a clean dishtowel. She had long since finished cleaning up after the dinner preparations and was just cleaning the kitchen. She began to look through the cupboards. "Would you like some hot chocolate, father? I know Betty must have some somewhere."

Jack smiled and then walked to a cupboard at the opposite end of where his daughter was looking. He took out a tin of drinking chocolate and two mugs; one was black and the other was green, and brought them over to Cecilia. "Do you know how to make it?" he teased.

Cecilia glared at her father, then chuckled noting the old mugs he had brought over. She recognized them as 'father/daughter' set her mother had bought for them one Christmas years ago.

Jack stood back and let Cecilia prepare the hot chocolate. Then with their mugs firmly in hand, Jack led his daughter to his study. He turned on the light and gestured for her to enter closing the door behind them.

Looking around the room, Cecilia realized that she had never actually been in the room that she could remember. He had quite a nice collection of books in his private library. Many of them first editions, and some exclusive to his library and not duplicated in the main library. What stunned her most was the condition the room was in. It was a mess. There were piles of papers and folders everywhere. The trash basket was over flowing and even the chairs had plies of books and papers on them. There were two cozy chairs by and end table that were clear, but the end table was covered with folders. She laughed as her father shoved the folders off the end table and placed his mug on the table gesturing for Cecilia to do the same.

"I see that my taste for sweets is not the only thing I inherited from you." Cecilia laughed as they each took a seat.

Jack laughed sheepishly at the daughter. "Not exactly something one would be proud of, however unlike you, Sister Tallis, my office looks just like this."

Cecilia shook her head and took her seat.

"You know your mother misses you dearly." Jack replied. "I'm sure you saw that she has a place set for you on the off chance you return home. Leon gives her a hard time about it. She keeps doing it, for breakfast and for dinner. I joke with her about the breakfast because you have never been on to rise early."

"I'll be sure put aside some time for her before I leave." Cecilia replied.

Jack nodded. "Now, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Taking a sip of her hot chocolate, Cecilia then took a deep breath. "First, I want to say that I'm sorry."

"Little Cee, you don't have anything to apologize for." Jack reassured. "Nobody blames you for leaving the way you did after the way we treated you. It's we who should apologize to you. We all turned against you because of your steadfast devotion to Robbie and your belief in his innocence. No one should have been surprised when you turned your back on us. I remember Leon was simply horrified that you ignored him when he waited for you outside the hospital where you were working. I scolded him and told him you had every right to ignore him for the way he's always treated Robbie. Sometimes I wondered if he treated him the way he did because he actually wanted him. Would explain a lot."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me. But I wasn't referring to that." Cecilia replied.

Confused, Jack sipped at his hot chocolate which his daughter had made just the way he liked it; extra chocolate, straight up, no marshmallows or whipping cream. "Then what on Earth are you apologizing for then?"

"My third."

"Your what?" Jack asked.

"My third at Cambridge. It must have cost you a fortune to have both myself and Robbie attend even with our respective scholarships." she answered. "I know how proud you and mother were when I got accepted. I'm sorry I let you down, father."

"Is that why you avoided me all those years? You weren't doing well in school?" he asked. "I know I angered you when I brought my girlfriend with me that one time I came to see you. I thought it was because of that."

"I let you down. I'm much smarter than 'a third'. I should have finished with 'a first' like Robbie did. But I let myself get distracted, I let you down. I'm sorry."

Jack took his daughter's hands in his and looked into her chocolate brown eyes. He could see how sincere she was with her apology. "Cecilia, you have never let me down as far as your education is concerned." Jack replied. "You were accepted in to Roedean at eleven. You were accepted into Cambridge. Cambridge, Little Cee. Do you have any idea how proud your mother and I were? I tested to get in when I was your age and couldn't get in. Your brother nearly flunked out. He only did the most minimal of work. The only thing that would have disappointed me was if you flunked out. But you didn't. And look at you now. A Ward Sister!"

"But I should have done better." Cecilia replied.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Although I imagine it was a bit embarrassing returning home having been bested by 'the housekeeper's son'." he replied. "My visit wasn't the distraction was it? If it was, I'm sorry. I know how close you always were with your mother, and my bringing a girlfriend along was uncalled for."

"It wasn't you, father." Cecilia replied with a smirk.

Cecilia and her father enjoyed a good laugh as she told him about her Roedean chums and Robbie affecting her studies. After a few moments, Cecilia turned serious.

"About Robbie, father." she replied softly with a slight tremble in her voice. "Honestly, what do you think of him? It doesn't really matter what you think because my mind about him is made up. I've already severed my ties here so I can leave again. I have my own life now and I'm quite content. But I want to know..."

Jack sat back in his char and sipped his hot chocolate trying to read the face of his little girl. His little girl was a beautiful young woman. Despite her often cold exterior, he knew that inside she was a loving, caring soul. Her kind heart was evident from the way she was always there to tend to her mother and younger sister. "From the day little Robert Ernest Turner was brought into this life I liked him. He was a funny little boy. I remember one morning I found Grace bathing him in the kitchen sink. She said that Ernest said the little boy made too much noise and to shut him up or take him elsewhere. Robbie was as quite as a mouse compared to your brother."

Cecilia smiled. Grace has shared many memories of her son with her, including that one.

"He was always smiling and getting into things, but in a good way. He was a very curious little boy. He always wanted to help. When Ernest left, I was more than willing to help Grace raise her little boy as was your mother even though we had our hands full with you. I gladly sponsored him through school because I felt that his curiosity had to be nurtured. He grew up to be a fine young man."

Cecilia stared into her cup, afraid to meet her father's eyes. "I'm in love with him, father," she replied softly. Since she was not looking at him, she did not see the warm grin that lighted up her father's face. "He's asked me to marry him."

"Well, I hope you had enough sense to say 'yes', young lady." Jack responded as Cecilia looked up. "A young man like Robbie is hard to find. I could set you up with a rich dashing millionaire. Look at the gem your cousin Lola ended up with. He could have been yours."

Laughing she pulled out the ID tags she now wore around her neck. "Not much of an engagement gift, but I did say yes and Robbie placed these around my neck."

"Does that mean Robbie made it home?" Jack asked. "Where is he now? Is he at the hospital?"

Cecilia sighed. "He was. He was taken back to prison this morning." she replied sadly. "That brings up something else I wanted to talk to you about. Briony admitted to me that she lied that evening confirming what I already knew in my heart. Robbie didn't do it. She wants to change her evidence. Do you think we have a chance of clearing Robbie's name?" 

"I'll be honest, Cecilia. No. It's been too long." Jack replied. He noticed his daughter's heart sink. "But for yours and Grace's sake, I'm willing to give it a try. I couldn't believe that Robbie could have committed such a hideous crime. When did you speak to your sister?"

"I've been working with her since I was transferred to St Thomas from the EMS at the start of the evacuation. Just because I'm talking to her does not mean I've forgiven her for what she's done. She understands that I still hate her but she is my sister and I love her."

"Who did she finger as the culprit?" Jack asked.

Cecilia took a deep breath. "Paul Marshall."

"What? But Lola married him. Are you sure? Your mother will be devastated. Are you sure Briony isn't lying to gain favor with you again?" Jack asked.

"You don't believe that Robbie is actually guilty, do you, father?" Cecilia asked in disbelief.

"No, I don't. Not the Robbie I knew and sponsored through school with the same pride as I did my own children." Jack reassured. "What I am saying, Cee, Briony is known to lie or stretch the truth. She lives in her own world at times... seeing but not seeing. She might be saying what you want to hear because she misses her big sister. And there was quite a lot of evidence stacked against Robbie."

"Only because it was deliberately made to look that way." Cecilia replied. "The attack at the fountain, the letter, the attack in the library. It was me at the fountain. The letter was intended for my eyes, and my eyes only, further more that version was a mistake and not the version he intended to give to me. I was in the library with him."

"I'm just playing 'devil's advocate' so do not be angry by what I'm going to ask, but if you were to take yourself out of the equation, do you think there was any way Robbie could have committed the crime?"

"No!" Cecilia cried out obviously not very successful in taking herself out of the equation as her father asked. "Robbie wouldn't have been so stupid! When he showed up at the house, I answered the door. I led him to the library. We were interrupted by Briony who obviously did not understand what she was witnessing. Robbie wasn't attacking me. All we had to do was wait until after dinner to sneak away and find a place to continue."

Jack burst out laughing. He knew it was not the most appropriate response for what his daughter had just said but he could not help himself. "Cecilia?" he asked. "Did you lose your virginity in the library that night?"

"What?" Cecilia asked flushing with embarrassment. Did her father ask what she thought he had asked?

"Your mother lost hers in the library," he snickered. "It was the night of our engagement party. Everybody was drunk so we weren't missed and we snuck away from the festivities for a few moments."

"Father!" she responded completely scandalized by learning a little more than she wanted to about her parents.

Jack laughed, then turned serious. "It's not going to be easy. It might be impossible. Going up against Paul Marshall will not be easy. He has a lot of money and a lot of influence. That is probably why things went the way they did. He has a lot of supporters."

"I'm not fooling myself. I know it will be difficult, but I cannot live with myself I do not try. Not necessarily for me but because he's innocent, and I want to prove it." she replied. "I know of a few people who have gotten to know Robbie after he was convicted who are willing to testify on behalf of his character. And Marshall's Army Ammo Bars are not as popular as he thinks they are."

"He's married to the one you are accusing him of attacking. That isn't going to help our case at all."

"I'm not out to prove who did it, father, only that Robbie is innocent." Cecilia replied. "Besides, Lola is an idiot. She probably asked for it."

" This is going to be extremely hard on your mother if Paul Marshall is indeed the real culprit. I know full well what an idiot your Aunt Hermione is, don't tell your mother I said that, and her daughter is just like her. Flash a wad of cash and a fancy car in front of her and she's all yours. but saying Lola asked for it, is a bit mean. "

"Yes, it is. I'm sorry. Rape is wrong no matter how old the victim." she apologized. "I don't want to hurt anyone more than I already have. I don't want you or mother to think that my motives are purely selfish. I won't deny that there is some bit of selfishness but even I noticed that Robbie wasn't given a proper defense. I was in the court room every day of the trial in support of Robbie."

"Now that you mention it his defense was a bit lacking. I wasn't there every day, but I went a few times." Jack replied. "Most of the evidence and testimony seemed to point toward his guilt."

"There was very little evidence, but a lot of testimony. Third person testimony." Cecilia replied. "There was the incident by the fountain where he allegedly forced a young woman to take off her clothes and jump in obviously so he could look at her in wet clothes. Did they bother to ask the young woman in that incident to testify? No, they did not. If they did the young woman would have testified that she willingly took off her clothes and jumped in the fountain to retrieve a piece of the broken vase. Robbie was a perfect gentleman and turned away when he realized that he could see through her wet clothes."

Jack was laughing again. Cecilia really didn't mind this time. Her actions were pretty silly.

"Why on Earth did you do such a thing?" Jack asked.

"I was being stubborn. I didn't want him to be the 'gentleman' and go in after it himself." Cecilia snickered.

"And the vase. Why were you filling it with filthy fountain water?"

"Mother asked me to pick some flowers and fill Uncle Clem's vase with water to put up in Auntie Venus' room for Mr. Marshall." Cecilia replied. "I went outside to the fountain because Robbie was outside."

"You were that much in love with the boy? You silly girl!" her father responded. "And it was you who broke my brother's vase? I blamed and yelled at Betty!"

"I know. I apologized to her."

"I have a few friends in other departments. I'll see what I can do about helping you prove Robbie innocent. But I don't want you to get your hopes up. I'm not promising you that anything will be done to free him." Jack replied.

"I understand," his daughter replied. "Your support means a lot to me. I'll marry Robbie behind bars if I have to. When we get an address, you should write to him. It would mean a lot to hear from you personally that you support his innocence and give him your blessing to marry me."

"I will do that." Jack responded. He was very proud of his daughter. She had grown up into a fine young lady, but she was still his 'Little Cee'.


	10. Home at last

**Disclaimer** Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.

All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.

**Author's notes**

Upon beginning to read the novel again, I realized that Leon went to Cambridge as well. The previous chapter has been updated to reflect that, but nothing other than that has changed.

Sorry I'm so slow to update. I do have this story written on paper for several chapters so don't worry it will continue.

A "What if...?" Story. "What if Robbie made it home?

Love Never Dies

by

Ninja Elizabeth

**Chapter 10: Home at last**

Emily woke to the sound of a gentle knock on her bedroom door. She wasn't even sure she had heard it. Behind her eye mask she closed her eyes and attempted to go back to sleep. She then heard the gentle knock again. This time she angrily sat up pulling the eye mask off her face only to be blinded by the light of the early morning sun.

"Oh, for crying out loud! Who is it?" She yelled.

The door opened painfully slowly, which should have enraged her even more but instead she felt herself chuckling at a memory of years long gone when her little Cecilia would knock ever so quietly and peer into the room to see if she was all right. She was startled at the sight of not a little Cecilia peering in but a fully grown Cecilia entering the room with a breakfast tray in her hands. Not quite believing her eyes she called out to her sleeping husband awake. She had to be dreaming.

Cecilia laughed as her father groaned and resisted her mother's attempt to wake him. "Good morning, mother." she replied.

Jack yawned and stretched out looking at his wife. "What is it, Emmie?" He smelled food. He saw Cecilia standing before them. "Little Cee, did we miss breakfast or have you -gasp!- gotten up early and fixed us breakfast?"

She laughed at her father's teasing as her parents sat up to receive the breakfast tray she had prepared for each of them. "I'm early."

"Is it safe to eat?" Jack asked.

"You're still alive after the parfait I made last night aren't you?" Cecilia teased in response. "Although it might not quite be what you are used to. I'm not as proficient a cook as Betty, but I get by."

Emily was stunned at what her husband and daughter had said. "Cecilia, you made the dessert last night? When did you arrive?"

"Yes, I made the dessert as well as the chocolate mustard sauce for the steak." Cecilia replied. "I arrived late yesterday morning."

"Don't discount your skill, little one. That sauce for the steak was marvelous! And the dessert was a work of art. Betty's never made anything like that." Emily complimented.

"Well, I like dessert." She smiled. "Must have been inherited and I developed the skill to prepare it as a defense mechanism. I've never attempted something so fancy. Usually, I just make a simple cake or custard."

Emily chuckled. "At least that's one good thing you inherited from your father." she responded giving her husband a teasing glare. "How did you come up with that chocolate mustard sauce?"

Cecilia laughed. She knew what inheritance her mother was referring to. "Betty asked me to make the sauce because I had tasted it before." she continued. "Marshall came into the kitchen with the subtle suggestion that we apply his 'chocolate' to a savory application."

"Have you finally come home, Cecilia?" her mother asked with a hopeful tone. "I've missed you so much."

"Only for a visit, I'm afraid." Cecilia replied. "I'm on holiday for a week. Marjorie was very kind in letting me have the whole week off when I explained about why June 21 meant so much to me. I have to return to the hospital."

"Damn this stupid war." Emily responded. "Promise me, Cecilia, when the war is over that you will return home? I want to have at least one of my children home."

"I can't do that, mother." Cecilia answered. "I have my own life now. I enjoy being a nurse. I'm thinking of going to medical school to further my training."

Emily looked over her daughter. "What are you wearing? Are you sure you are doing okay? Your father can send you money."

Cecilia liked her dress. It was one of her favorites. She looked at her mother and smiled. She knew she was only concerned for her well being. "I'm doing fine, mother. I have no need for fancy dresses now. It feels nice to be out on my own. I know that I may not have turned out quite the way you might have liked, but I'm happy now for the most part."

"For the most part? What's missing?"

"Well, Robbie for one." Cecilia replied. She took a deep breath. "And my family. I don't want to hate all of you, but I feel like I was betrayed. What you did hurt."

Tears formed in Emily's eyes. "Cecilia, if I apologized for my actions that night, would you forgive me?"

"I don't know." Cecilia replied honestly. "I asked myself 'why' for so long."

"Everything that night was chaos. I don't know where I went wrong." Emily cried. "I wanted to give my niece and nephews a home. Something they never really had with my sister. I can use my migraines as an excuse but in truth, I failed them, I failed you."

Cecilia walked around the bed and hugged her mother. "You haven't failed me, mother. It just hurt so much that night. It seemed like you didn't care about me. You immediately took Briony's side and never listened to what I had to say. Everybody ganged up on Robbie. He was guilty before he even had a chance to defend himself and put into the police car." she replied. "And if anybody understands your migraines it's me. I know how painful they can be."

"I'm sorry, Cecilia. Do you suffer from them too?" Emily asked. "I may have lost Lola, I don't want to lose you. I've missed you so much. Can you ever forgive me?"

"I do. Sometimes the pain is so great I just want to throw up." Cecilia replied. "You haven't lost me. I'm here now. I've missed you."

"Have you really?" Emily asked accusingly. "I've seen you a few times, at the bungalow, visiting Grace. It's not a long walk down the path to the main house. You know that. You made it yesterday. If you missed us so much, why didn't you make that walk until today?"

"I was hurt. I hated all of you."

"What changed this time?" Emily asked.

"I wanted to talk to Grace. I didn't want to wait for her at the bungalow. I came to tell her that Robbie had returned from France."

"Oh? That's wonderful news! Is he coming home?"

"No. He was taken back to prison yesterday." Cecilia replied sadly.

"That still doesn't explain why you decided to stay talk to us after all these years."

"Grace urged me to talk to father, and you." she replied. "I've also talked to Briony. I'm at working St Thomas again. If I could talk to her, then it was time I talked to you and father."

"You are a Ward Sister, now, correct?"

"Yes."

"I'm so proud of you." Emily replied. "Please don't be a stranger anymore? Please come and visit us when you visit Grace?"

"On one condition. You must accept that I am in love with Robbie. I believe in his innocence and I have never wavered in my support." Cecilia responded. "If you can accept that, then I will visit."

Emily smiled. "Robbie is a nice fellow. Of course, I can accept him. Things happened so fast that evening... I don't know what I was thinking... I still don't know what to make of things that night. So will you be staying for dinner? I want you to sit next to me."

"I will mother."

Jack looked at his wife. "Emmie, dear. Eat up before you food gets too cold. It's edible." Jack smiled at his daughter who looked slightly insulted. Jack laughed. "Cecilia, did you eat?"

"Yes, I did. I'll come back later for the tray. I'll be in my room if you need me."

(-+-+-+-+-+-+-)

Briony finished her shift. She was starving. She headed to the cafeteria to grab some breakfast before getting some rest. The food was the usual slop; watery eggs, some kind of meat product, stale bread and bitter coffee to wash it all down. No wonder the nurses often spoke with excitement at the prospect of moving to a flat of their own.

Noticing Fiona sitting with a few other probationers and young nurses. Briony made her way over to her friend. They were laughing and giggling at something. They became suspiciously quiet when Briony sat down.

One of the nurses looked at Briony's name tag. "B. Tallis. Are you related to Sister Tallis?" she asked.

"Sister Tallis is my older sister." Briony answered already dreading the series of questions she was sure to follow. She already suspected what they had been laughing about and why everyone got so quiet at her arrival. She glared at Fiona.

"She seems so much more mature than you." the nurse replied.

"She's ten years older than me."

A few of those seated at the table began to snicker.

"Have you heard the rumors about your sister and Sister Drummond having an affair?" somebody asked.

Briony was angry but she tried not to show it. "Yes. And I can assure you that they are absolutely not true. My sister has a fellow."

"That doesn't mean she can't be having an affair with Sister Drummond!" someone else responded, causing the table to erupt with laughter.

"I heard that Sister Tallis hates you and refuses to speak to you. What do you know of her personal life?" Another nurse replied.

"I've talked to my sister. In fact she told me that she is engaged to be married to the man she loves." Briony replied in a pitiful attempt to repel the rumors.

"I heard that Sister Drummond and Sister Tallis were probationers together at this very hospital, and that Sister Tallis eventually was transferred." another nurse responded as though no one had heard Briony's words. "I also heard that it was Sister Drummond who personally requested for Sister Tallis to come back. Sounds like they did more than just train together if you ask me."

Everyone except Briony burst out laughing. When the laughter subsided, Briony hoped the topic had been exhausted, but she was wrong.

"Sister Drummond never seems to like anyone. She seems to be awfully close to Sister Tallis. They seem to spend a lot of time in the office!" Fiona giggled.

"Oh for Pete's Sake, Fi, it's probably just business." Briony replied.

No one listened to Briony.

Fiona continued. "I wouldn't be surprised if their relationship was slightly sadomasochistic!" she chuckled.

"Only slightly?" someone asked.

"I wonder who is the dominate one?" asked someone else.

"I'll bet they take turns!" yet another one replied.

The girls continued to laugh.

"I wonder what kind of a guy would fall in love with Sister Tallis." someone mused as the laughter began to subside.

"Moreover, does he know about her affair and sadomasochistic tendencies?" someone chuckled.

"Enough!" Briony screamed. "My sister is not into sadomasochism and she is engaged to the nicest, sweetest man I've ever meant. My sister may be stubborn but she is not a bitch. Robbie was our groundskeeper. His mother is our housekeeper."

Fiona giggled. "You forgot to mention that he was here in the hospital. He was in the Army and taken back to prison."

"Prison?" someone asked. "What is he in prison for if he's so nice?"

"He raped a fifteen year old girl!" Fiona answered. "She was Briony's cousin! Can you believe that? Ward Sister Tallis is engaged to a convicted rapist!"

Briony was fuming. She had trusted her friend with her personal information and now she was blurting it out to everyone. She was sure it would get back to her sister and it would impact her already uneasy relationship. She was certain the Ward Sisters know of the rumors spreading about them.

"Is that true, Tallis? Is Sister Tallis engaged to a rapist?"

"No. It's not true." Briony replied. It was true. Robbie was innocent. He wasn't a rapist.

"That's not what you told me, Briony." Fiona replied. "Sister Tallis is engaged to Robbie Turner. He was the private who was taken away to prison. Can you imagine being engaged to a monster like that?"

"Robbie is not a monster!" Briony responded. "He did not rape my cousin. I didn't understand what was going on. I was jealous of my sister. I lied!

The table went silent and all eyes turned to Briony. Briony didn't know what to think. One of the younger nurses turned to Briony.

"Was Robbie that Private who tried to strangle you, Tallis?" she asked.

"Yes." Briony replied dreading what would come next.

"I assisted Nurse Bennet in caring for him a few times." She replied. "He seemed like such the nicest fellow. He liked his tea with no milk, and two sugars. Very soft spoken and pleasant to talk to. Not at all like the other soldiers. He doesn't strike me as the type who would force himself on anyone."

"His father left when he was four. My father took to helping his mother with raising him and sponsored him through school. He was always helping about the house and eventually became one of our groundskeepers." Briony replied.

"Sister Tallis doesn't seem like a fool. She's a really good nurse. I like to think that I've learned a lot from her." the nurse continued. "She wouldn't give her heart to just anyone."

"My sister may be stubborn at times, but she has a kind heart. And she's not a fool."

Silence again.

Then somebody spoke causing Briony to groan.

"Rapists and other woman must be all the attention Sister Tallis can get!"

The table erupted in laughter again. Briony realized that it was hopeless to change their minds and realized just what a daunting task her sister had undertaken.

(-+-+-+-+-+-+-)

As he walked down the long corridor on the way to his room, Leon noticed the door to his older sister's room open and panicked. Had he left it open upon his last visit? He was sure he had closed it firmly when he left.

Reaching the door he heard somebody inside. Emily had declared Cecilia's room 'off limits' since her departure five years ago and no one was to go inside. He entered to scold the occupant. Before he could see who it was he was noticed first and greeted with a slap to his face.

"How dare you, Leon!" an angry Cecilia responded as Leon realized what had just happened. "Did you think I would not notice your sick and perverted invasion into my privacy?"

Leon ignored his sister's anger. "Sis-cilia! When did you arrive? It's so nice to see you!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Spare me the pleasantries, Leon." Cecilia replied. "Just because my room is a mess does not mean I do not know where I keep things. I know you've been in here."

"How do you know it was me? You know Briony was always going through your things." Leon responded. "I used to see her coming from your room many times before she left home."

"Briony went through my vanity, my perfumes and my jewelry, not my under garments, Leon." Cecilia replied obviously angry.

"I've missed you." Leon replied trying to change the subject. "Have you decided to come home? You know Emily misses you terribly. Are you actually cleaning? Do you need any help?"

Cecilia sighed. "No, I came to visit Grace. I decided it was time I tried to speak to mother and father." She had seen the look on her brother's face many times in the ward and had become immune to it, but on her brother, it disturbed her greatly. "I do not need your help, but thank you. Now if you will please leave. And I would appreciate it if you stay out of my room when I'm away."

Leon did not move. "I'm your brother, Cee."

"Yes, you are, and it's high time you remembered that." Cecilia responded returning her attention to her cleaning.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know damn well what it means, Leon." Cecilia snapped. "Oh, don't think I haven't seen how you look at me, the way you are looking at me right now. The only thing that is preventing me from being completely disgusted is the fact that I see that look every day on the faces of the soldiers I tend to at the hospital."

"Can't I look at you and admire you?"

"Admire? Yes. Leer? No." Cecilia replied. "And a brother should not be going through his sister's knickers. Now, I will ask you again, Leon. Please leave. I have a lot of cleaning up to do."

Leon pretended to be shocked. "Did I just hear you say you had cleaning to do? Cee, you don't have to do this. That is what we have servants for. All you have to do is ask one of them to do it."

Cecilia found hidden stash of cigarettes. She laughed at herself. She had looked everywhere for them the day she packed up to leave home five years ago. "Did I not ask you to leave, Leon?"

"Oh come on, Cee." Leon replied. "You ignored me when I waited outside the hospital for you. I know you saw me. It's been five years, Cee. Why won't you talk to me? You're home now. Isn't it time to let it go?"

Cecilia looked up from her task. "Are you still friends with Paul Marshall?"

"Yes, I am." Leon responded with a sense of pride. "You know his chocolate factory is doing quite well. The old man is quite the fool for not investing in it. And I'm sure you know that he's married our cousin Lola. You could have been his wife, Cee. Don't tell me after all these years you are still hung up on Robbie."

"I am not 'hung up on him'. I am in love with him."

"Get over him. He's not worth it." Leon replied. "I mean look at you. Have you looked at yourself? What are you wearing?"

It was the second time in a day she was asked that question. The first by her mother whom she knew was concerned about her wellbeing. Leon however was merely concerned about her image, or more to the point, his image.

"Is there something the matter with what I'm wearing?" Cecilia asked. "This happens to be one of my favorite dresses."

"Five years ago you wouldn't have been caught dead wearing something like that. What has happened to you? You should be ashamed."

"Ashamed? Of what?" Cecilia asked not believing that her brother could be so shallow. "I left home not knowing where I was going or what I was going to do. I found a good job, Leon. I have held that same job for five years and earned several promotions. I am also considering going to medical school when the war is over in order to advance even further."

Leon laughed at his sister. "Medical school? Are you mad? You can't even afford decent clothes! How are you going to afford going to medical school?"

"The hospital is going to sponsor me. The hospital administration chose several nurses and field doctors who wish to further their careers." Cecilia replied. "I'm sorry that I haven't kept up with the latest fashions but I have better things to do with my time. And I prefer to live on my own and not leech off my friends so I can't really afford them if I wanted to."

Don't tell me you are actually happy and satisfied with the way you are living, Cee." Leon responded. "Look at all you've given up. Come live with me. My flat is probably ten times bigger than where ever you are living. I'll reintroduce you into society and you won't have to worry about money. I'll buy you some new clothes."

"No thank you." Cecilia replied. "As hard as it may be to believe. I am actually happy with my life. My flat may not be much bigger than my bedroom here, but it's mine."

"Is it as messy?" Leon teased.

"That is none of your concern." Cecilia snapped.

"Surely there must be something you miss with your simple life. Don't tell me there isn't."

"Yes, there are things I miss, but I've learned to live without them." Cecilia replied. "I've learned to appreciate what I do have and find joy in the more simple things. I have no need for fancy things."

"Simpler, you mean cheap." Leon replied. "Cee, what's gotten into you? Let me help you. You don't have to be ashamed. I can loan you money."

Cecilia laughed. "Listen to yourself. If you think that I can't afford decent clothes, how the hell do you think I'm going to be able to pay off a loan?"

"Fine. I'll give you the money then."

"I don't need a hand out. The clothes I have suit my needs. I have no need for fancy dresses. I don't go out to dinner parties or social gatherings." Cecilia replied.

"You need to go out more. Allow me to take you out. I can introduce you to many a fine gentleman in high society. Perhaps you will even find a candidate for a husband."

"I don't have time for socializing. When I get home I'm usually only up for a hot bath and perhaps a little reading before bed." Cecilia replied. "I often work double, sometimes triple shifts at the hospital."

"Call out sick one night, Cee, and I will treat you out to a night on the town." Leon responded determined to not give up. "You are never going to find yourself a husband dressed like that and constantly working. Let me take you shopping and introduce you to some of my friends."

"Are they anything like Paul Marshall?" Cecilia asked.

"Well, not as successful or rich, but definitely ones to be considered a fine catch."

"If they are anything like him, even in the slightest, I will have to decline."

"And what is wrong with Paul Marshall? He's rich, successful, and incredibly handsome."

"So you say, Leon. He is not handsome in my book. He's also pompous, conceited and obnoxious. And if he's so rich, the least he can do is hire a decent barber to clip his nose hair."

"Cecilia, you are going to have to make some sacrifices if you intend to find yourself a decent husband. And if you don't mind me saying, it's you who is sounding pompous and conceited."

"Why? For stating the obvious? I don't know why your friend thinks it's attractive to have hair coming out of his nose and ears. I said it before. It looks like pubic hair. I don't want to be a trophy wife, Leon. I want someone who will love me for who I and let me be." Cecilia took note of her brother not only using her full name as well as pronouncing it properly.

Leon laughed. "Good luck finding someone like that, Cee. You aren't getting any younger. Lola was smart to take advantage of her opportunity to snag Paul. Think of how happy it would have made father if you married Paul Marshall? Wife of the chocolate millionaire?"

"Don't even get me started on what I think of our cousin Lola," Cecilia responded. "To not having the courage to testify in the trial is one thing but to marry the man who may have violated her is just plain stupid."

"Wait a minute. Are implying that it was Paul who raped her that night?" Leon exclaimed. "Cecilia, you know it was Robbie. Briony said so."

"And you believed her?" Cecilia asked. "I know Robbie did not do it. And Briony has recanted her testimony. She saw who did it, and it was not Robbie."

"How can you be so sure she isn't lying to you now? You know how close she is to you." Leon responded.

"To be honest, I don't know." Cecilia replied. "I do know however that Robbie didn't do it."

"Wake up, Cee. Robbie is in prison. You were there every day of the trial. Did you not hear all the evidence against him?" Leon asked.

"What I heard, Leon, was statements of events that were made to lead one to conclude that Robbie was guilty, no actual facts other than the words of a jealous thirteen year old who by witnessing something that day suddenly decided that she was more mature than she actually was." Cecilia responded.

Leon laughed. "You're grasping at straws."

"Am I?" Cecilia asked. "The girl he forced to remove her clothing and jump into the fountain. Where was she to testify? The girl he attacked in the library. Where was she? Surely the case against Robbie would have left absolutely no doubt and only strengthened an already strong case had they had testimony from them don't you think? Don't you think they would have wanted the strongest case possible to assure a conviction?"

"They obviously didn't need them. Robbie was found guilty." Leon replied.

"It wasn't that they didn't need them. It was more of the case that she would have jeopardized the case against him." Cecilia replied. "The girl by the fountain would have told them that she was being stubborn. She removed her clothes on her own and jumped into the fountain to retrieve the broken piece of the vase they had so foolishly broken only moments before with a ridiculous tug of war. Why? She had no clue. As for the girl in the library? She led him into the darkened room. She confessed her love for him and gave herself to him willingly. There was nothing he did that she did not want him to do."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"It's not ridiculous, Leon, because it's the truth. Who the hell do you think the girl was?" Cecilia asked.

"Oh come on, you can't be serious." Leon replied. "If that's true, why didn't you protest? Why didn't you speak up?"

"I did, but no one would hear any of it." Cecilia cried. "As soon as Briony said she saw him, no one wanted to believe anything else. No one wanted to listen to me. Robbie was guilty before he ever had a chance to defend himself."

"All right how do you explain that letter he wrote to Briony?" Leon asked.

"He didn't write the letter to Briony. He wrote it to me!" Cecilia responded. "It was not the version he meant to give to me. She had no business opening it regardless."

"But why give the letter to Briony? And for that matter, why did he have to write you a letter?"

"Because you're an idiot and invited him to dinner." Cecilia replied. "Being a gentleman he felt the need to apologize for his foolish behavior at the fountain. You wouldn't understand. I have the draft he meant to send in my flat. It's quite different and handwritten, signed simply 'Robbie'. I'm sure there are several rejected versions, and the letter he sent by mistake was written out of frustration of not being able to say what he wanted to say, and in the process typed exactly what was on his mind."

"And how would you know what he was thinking that day, Cee? He could have been thinking something far more violent. I think you're giving him far too much credit."

"And I think you're not giving him enough. Have you ever known Robbie to be violent or forceful?" Cecilia asked. "I can only speculate based on my own feelings that day. He was luck he had that one and only suit. As for myself? I must have tried one at least a half dozen dresses, some twice before I settled on the green halter gown I wore."

Leon laughed. "Robbie is in prison now so you need to move on. He's no good for you anyway. He's the housekeeper's son. Let me find you a good husband. There's still time. I think I can find a gentleman who can forgive you for your foolishness. You need someone to take care of you before you die an old maid."

"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much." Cecilia replied feeling insulted. "And I do not need your assistance in finding a husband. I am happily engaged."

Leon's eyes lit up. "Really?" he asked filled with renewed excitement which Cecilia knew would be short lived. "How did you meet him? Why didn't you say do in the first place? How much money does he have? Is he a doctor? Have you seen the size of the ring Paul gave Lola? How come you aren't wearing a ring? Does it interfere with your work?"

Cecilia remained perfectly calm. Her years working in the hospital helped with that. Inside she was laughing. "He's a soldier." It wasn't completely a lie. He had been a soldier before being taken back to prison. "There wasn't time for a ring, so he gave me these. She pulled out the ID tags she now wore around her neck. She didn't quite trust Leon to give them back if she took them off.

"Isn't he going to need these? Where is he stationed?" Leon asked before reading the name on the tags. Turner, Robert Ernest. He laughed out loud. "Cee, this is a joke, right? You can't possibly be engaged to Robbie."

Angrily, Cecilia snatched the ID tags from her brother's hand and tucked them away hidden from view. "It's not a joke. Robbie asked me to marry him before he was taken away to prison and I said yes."

"You can't marry him!"

"Why not?"

"He has no money. He has no status. He's the housekeeper's son for Pete's sake."

"I don't care about money and status anymore." Cecilia replied with confidence. "I love him, Leon, and he loves me. And I am going to marry him."

"Does the old man know? Has he asked him for permission?" Leon asked.

"Yes, father knows and has given his approval for us to be married." Cecilia responded as she pushed Leon out of her room. "Now get out."

As she shoved her brother out her mother entered appearing quite flustered. She turned and looked briefly at her son then turned back to Cecilia. "Cecilia! Why didn't you tell me you and Robbie are engaged! Oh my goodness! I am going to have to ask Betty to prepare a special dinner for tonight. She's going to kill me!" With that said, Emily was gone. Cecilia laughed.

(-+-+-+-+-+-+)

After a nice simple lunch with her mother and father, Cecilia made her way to the kitchen to see if she could be of some help. She didn't want to be of any burden to Betty.

"What are you doing here?" Betty asked seeing her enter.

"I've come to see if you need any help." Cecilia replied.

"You can't help." Betty responded.

Cecilia laughed. "Betty, didn't we go through this routine already?"

Betty chuckled. "Yes, we did, but this time I'm not going to let you talk me into allowing you to help."

"Did I do something wrong?" Cecilia asked a bit worried.

"Oh, no. You did nothing wrong. This is your engagement dinner. I'm not going to allow you to help with that. Grace and I have something planned. It's nothing special, but it is something you and Robbie both will like."

"Okay. But, Betty, I want you to enjoy yourself too. I want you to make something special for yourself. You won't be at the table with us, but I want you a part of the celebration as well." Cecilia replied. "This is for Robbie and me. You've been a part of our lives."

"Yes, ma'am," Betty replied. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." Cecilia replied. "I really don't want you to go to any trouble for me tonight. The Marshall's already made you prepare a special luncheon for them."

Grace snickered. "We are preparing the left over stew. I thought it appropriate seeing how much you and Robbie enjoyed the stew the next day. And my dinner rolls. For dessert, oatmeal pancakes with chocolate sauce."

"The kind from the jar we used to drizzle over everything?" Cecilia asked excitedly. "Mother would get so disgusted when I would drizzle it over celery sticks."

Betty laughed. "Oh goodness! I had forgotten about that." She replied. "I can't believe you liked that."

Cecilia smiled. "I supposed I'm going to have to learn how to prepare pancakes and oatmeal for Robbie if I am to be his wife."

"I will be happy to teach you." Grace replied. "You don't think your parents will mind having left over stew for dinner?"

"My parents will understand the gesture and meaning behind the food. It's perfect." Cecilia chuckled. "The same cannot be said for the Marshalls or my brother for that matter. Beef stew, let alone left over beef stew is probably beneath them."

"You don't have to invite the Marshalls. They may be visitors, but this is your dinner. You don't have to extend the invitation to them. You have every right to exclude them." Betty replied.

Cecilia sighed. "I know, but his wife is my cousin. Paul Marshall really makes me sick. Since leaving home, I've come to dislike his type. But that would also mean you would have to make a special dinner for them and I don't want that. Not to mention I want to see the look on their faces when you serve beef stew. It's going to be lovely with the bottle of wine my father is going to unveil."

Betty laughed.

"Oh, you can even save some trouble by serving it from the big pot!" Cecilia responded. "I'd ask you to have everyone serve ourselves, but Robbie and I were never allowed to. I remember getting so excited when you brought the big pot of stew to the table."

"Of course, honey. That makes it much easier. I don't have to transfer it and it will be much hotter coming right off the stove. I will put the rolls and other dishes on platters in the center of the table for you to pass around. I'm sure Marshall will appreciate that as well."

Cecilia laughed.

"Now, Little Cee, get out of my kitchen. I have work to do."

(-+-+-+-+-+-+-+)

Having been kicked out of the kitchen and having her fill of cleaning for one day, Cecilia decided to go outside. She made her way to the terrace steps where she had found Robbie sitting rolling a cigarette that fateful day and took a seat. She took a cigarette from one of the packs she had found stashed in her room. As she lit it she laughed at herself turning toward the fountain. Taking a long drag she clutched the ID tags from underneath her dress. She was glad their foolishness was behind them, but she longed for them to be together.

The gardens didn't look quite the same. They were not kept up the way they once were when Robbie took care of them. Robbie enjoyed working in the gardens. He took care with the flowers. He knew she loved flowers and always made sure there were different kinds so that there were blossoms year round. He liked digging in the dirt. Whether it be to plant seeds and bulbs or for worms to use as bait she remembered him always happy digging in the dirt when they were younger. It did not change as he got older. It had surprised and hurt when he had decided to continue his education to become a doctor. Her surprise was that he did not choose to learn more a landscaping or planting. It hurt that she felt that he was distancing himself and trying to become something he was not to try and impress her. She had tried to tell herself that she was happy but it didn't work. She didn't really blame him for not knowing how she felt. She ignored him at Cambridge. She had stopped kicking herself long ago for her foolishness.

Her thoughts turned to that day in the library when they were interrupted by the sound of heeled shoes on pavement approaching her. She took a deep breath. Lola.

"Do you have a cigarette, Cee?" her cousin asked.

"No." Cecilia responded without turning around. She took a puff. She had a fresh pack in her pocket but she felt like being stingy. Besides, two could play the ridiculous game of 'status'. She had been there and realized just how ridiculous it was. She knew that the only reason Lola was even talking to her was because their mothers were sisters making them cousins. "And my name is Cecilia. Only those close to my heart may call me Cee."

"I'm not a child anymore, Cecilia." Lola responded putting emphasis on 'child' and 'Cecilia'.

Cecilia heard her attempt to sound 'sophisticated' in her tone. She wondered, did she sound like that?

"I'm twenty years old now, you know." Lola added.

"Fancy that. That makes me twenty-eight." Cecilia replied dryly as she continued to puff on her cigarette.

"You could at least show me some courtesy by looking at me and offering me a cigarette." Lola replied.

Cecilia turned around to look at her cousin. Her dress probably cost her or that is to say her husband far more than she could have ever afforded in her 'rich snob' years. "Why? That would have deprived me the pleasure of making you ask for one only to have me answer 'no'." Cecilia replied.

Lola made several attempts to sit down in a lady-like fashion, finally making it down beside Cecilia having failed miserably.

Cecilia tried not to chuckle.

"Do you have a cigarette, now?" Lola asked.

"No." came the reply again. "Mother always scolded you about asking for cigarettes from me or Robbie."

"I'm not a child."

"Yes. You said that. You are twenty years old, but you are still the niece of Emily Tallis. Nothing will change that. Mother still hates that I smoke, so my answer is still no."

"You're being a snob."

"Touché. I am, but only to you." Cecilia replied. "Let me make something perfectly clear, Lola. I have never liked you. You have always thought that you were better than us, and now that you are married to a rich man, you are even worse. We may be cousins, but that is all. I am not the person I was five years ago, but I have always been stubborn and done as I pleased. Things have changed with me. I've seen how the 'lower class' lives. I am not going to act a certain way to somebody just because they are of a higher class than me. Perhaps, if your first words were, 'hello, Cee, may I have a cigarette?' I might have given you one. But no. You asked me the question as though you expected me just turn around and offer you one just because you are Lola Marshall."

"You brought your lowly status upon yourself, Cecilia. Don't take out your resentment out on me or my husband." Lola replied. "You could have had my life, but no. You chose to live your life defending and loving your housekeeper's son who was convicted and sent to prison for rape."

"Your rape, Lola. You talk of the crime as though it was someone else." Cecilia replied.

"It's not my fault your poor." Lola responded.

"Just because I don't have as much money as you, does not make me poor." Cecilia responded noticing how her cousin was avoiding the issue of her attack. "I may not be able to go out and spend my money on the latest fashions but I'm not poor. What I buy now suits my needs. I am happy. I have a fiancé who loves me dearly and I love him. Can you sit there and tell me that you truly love your husband?"

"People do not always marry for love." Lola replied.

"No, they certainly do not. I guess I'm fortunate then."

"Do you honestly believe that Robbie is going to get out and that the two of you will be married?" Lola asked.

"In my heart, yes, but I also know that the reality of the situation is that he may never get out. That does not mean that I'm not going to give up hope. I'll marry Robbie in prison if they will allow it."

"How can you marry someone with no money?"

"Money isn't everything. He makes me happy. Can you buy that with your husband's money, Lola?" Cecilia asked. "I once thought as you do and it nearly cost me everything that I truly loved. It was a decision that did actually cost me dearly but I have made amends with that part and I am truly happy once again. I am in love with Robbie Turner, the housekeeper's son. There is no shame in that. I have given myself to the man I love with all my heart. Can you say the same? Or I should ask, since you did not marry out of love, have you given yourself willingly out of a sense of duty?"

With that, Cecilia stood up and walked toward the fountain leaving Lola alone to ponder her cousin's words.

(-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-)

The Tallis family, with the addition of Emily's niece and her husband and Grace Turner, sat at the dining room table. Emily Tallis sat at one end, beside her one her right was her eldest daughter, Cecilia and to her left and empty chair, then her daughter's future mother-in-law and beloved housekeeper, Grace. She smiled proudly at her husband sitting at the head of the table.

Jack Tallis smiled at his wife. At his right was his son Leon. To his left were Paul Marshall and his wife, Lola. There was a table setting next to Cecilia for his youngest daughter Briony and a setting for Robbie across from Cecilia.

Grace looked at Cecilia. She could not help chuckle inside and forgave her for having the Marshalls at the table. She could understand her not wanting to trouble Betty into making a special dinner for them but what about her? It was her son who wasn't present because of them. The look of disgust that crossed their faces as she took her seat at the table was priceless.

Betty entered the dining room and approached Jack with the bottle of wine she had been asked to retrieve from the wine cellar.

"Thank you, Betty. Fetch yourself a glass so that you may join us in the toast. You have been a part of Robbie and Cecilia's lives as much as we have." Jack replied turning to his son as Betty left to get a glass for herself. "Leon, will you do me the honor of opening the bottle?"

Leon took the bottle and gave it a good look. He gasped. He was no wine expert, but he knew that the bottle in his hand was no ordinary bottle of wine. "Father, you can't seriously be thinking of opening this for such an occasion as this?"

"And why not?" Jack asked as Betty returned.

"Have you any idea how much this would be worth?" Leon asked.

"I have no idea and I do not care. I bought it for just this occasion." Jack responded. "Now, please. Open it so that we may toast Robbie and Cecilia."

Paul Marshall cleared his throat. "I fancy myself a bit of a wine connoisseur, mind if I take a look at the bottle?"

Leon handed his friend the bottle. Cecilia groaned. Her mother shot her a look.

Marshall took the bottle and gave it a look. "Most impressive, Jack. I must commend you on your impeccable taste. A Bordeaux. 1912. A fine vintage. We must find some time to sit down and discuss wine."

"Oh, shut up!" Cecilia exclaimed. This was her night. While she thought it would be funny to have them sit at the table for a quaint family dinner in hers and Robbie's honor to celebrate her engagement, she was not about to let Marshall ruin it by his need to impress. She knew it was not the wisest thing to insult the man but she felt that he had to be put in his place. She was certain Robbie would forgive her and perhaps find it funny. "If you truly know as much as you think you do, they you will know that this wine was one of the best Bordeaux produced in the year 1912 which was not the best years for vintage wines. The Bordeaux's were of good quality at best. I learned this when my friends took me out to dinner for my 25th birthday. They wanted to buy a fine Bordeaux and were told of its average vintage. Father bought this wine in 1912; do you know the significance of that year, Mr. Marshall?"

"It was a fine year to remember. 12 January, Robert F Scott reaches the South Pole; 10 April, the RMS Titanic sets out on her maiden voyage; 13 April, the British Royal Flying Corps are created by the Royal Charter." Marshall responded with a bit pride in his voice.

"You have neglected to mention the event with the most significance." Cecilia replied earning a glare from her brother.

Marshall was taken aback. "I did? Surely you cannot discount the significance of the formation of the Royal Air Force. It is those chaps that we owe our very lives to."

"We, Mr. Marshall, owe our lives to _all_ of the Armed Forces, not just the Air Force, and not just our own." She replied. "However, the event in 1912 which holds the most significance and was for which my father purchased this bottle was 26 March. Jack and Emily Tallis welcome their second child, Cecilia Emily into the world. So you see, there is nothing truly 'special' about this wine, other than my father bought it the year I was born to celebrate some accomplishment in my life."

Emily raised her hand to cover her mouth so that no one would see her chuckle.

"That was uncalled for, Cee." Leon scolded taking the bottle back from his friend.

"Was it? I'm so sorry." Cecilia responded. "But what I've stated it true, Leon. 1912 was not a good year for vintage wines. Just open the bottle like father asked you to do."

Jack smiled at his daughter. He should have scolded her, but he could not bring himself to do so. He remembered buying the bottles twenty-eight years ago from the same vintner two years before. He remembered his purchase two years before, quite a good year, and told him that it was not a good year but the Bordeaux was good. He felt a bit sorry for his youngest. 1922 was a very poor year but there were two bottles in the cellar for her as well, nonetheless.

Leon opened the bottle and began to serve the wine, starting with Paul then Lola. Cecilia did not look at him as he poured her glass followed by their mother's, Grace, his own and then their father's. Cecilia wasn't sure if he did it out of spite, or if he was merely going around the table. What he should have done, was pour hers first, as she and the absent Robbie were the guests of honor; then their father, mother, and Grace; then himself; and finally Paul and Lola.

Taking the bottle from his son, Jack asked him to take his seat as he stood up and poured a glass for Betty. He then turned and addressed everyone. "This is a day that I both dreaded and yet rejoice. I never wanted to give my little Cee away, but I can see no fault in giving her to a young man who I have had the pleasure of knowing his entire life, nor sharing her with a woman who has served us loyally all these years. Grace, you know as well as I do of Cecilia's stubbornness and I am sure you are happy that she has finally seen the light as to what was right in front of her. When Ernest left, how could I not keep you on my staff and do what I could to help raise your son. When he came of age he made himself a valued member of my staff. My eldest daughter and your son make a fine couple and will be happy for years to come. And I am sure you will agree that they will produce the most adorable grandchildren." Jack paused to make sure he did not upset his daughter. He was relieved to see her blushing and continued. "I could ask for a finer man for my little Cee. Tonight, we toast, your son Grace, Robert Ernest, and mine and Emily's daughter, Cecilia Emily, and celebrate their engagement."

Everyone raised their glasses. Grace then stood up. "May I say a few words?"

"Of course! By all means, Grace." Jack replied taking his seat.

Grace turned and looked at Cecilia. Lola's look of disbelief did not go unnoticed by Grace, not did her husband's slight look of disgust. "Cecilia, I have known you since the day you were born. As your father has already stated you are stubborn, but you have a loving and caring side which you allow very few to see. I feel privileged that I can count myself among one of them. I cannot think of a nicer young lady for my little boy to fall in love with. Your devotion to me and Robbie these past five years touches me greatly. He is very blessed to have your love as I am to be welcoming you into my family."

"That was lovely, Grace. Thank you." Jack replied turning to Betty. "You may bring out the food now if it's ready."

Betty grinned and looked at Grace who tried not to snicker. Cecilia rolled her eyes almost dreading what the two ladies had planned.

Paul Marshall cleared his throat and Jack and Cecilia looked at him.

"May I say a few words while we are waiting?" He asked.

"No, you may not!" Cecilia snapped before her father could respond.

Marshall turned to Cecilia. "My, my. Such words! Did no one teach you manners and how to behave to a gentleman?" He taunted. "It would do you good to hold your tongue, young lady and know your place. If you were more of a lady your finance would not be locked up in prison."

"It is you, Mr. Marshall who should hold one's tongue and know your place." Cecilia replied. "This is my engagement dinner and the only reason you are seated here at the table is because I do not wish to burden Betty with having to prepare a separate dinner for you and your wife. Lola is seated here because she is my cousin. It would be rude of me to exclude you as her husband. Do not tell me to know my place."

Marshall feigned being offended and turned to Jack. "Jack, are you going to allow your daughter to speak to me like that?"

"One thing about Little Cee. She can be quite stubborn." Jack defended. "However, in this matter, Mr. Marshall, I believe she is right to speak up in this matter. For too long she has been distant from us, her family, and-"

Jack stopped midsentence and turned to Betty. Everybody had turned as the head of the kitchen entered the dining room pushing a squeaky dinner cart filled with the food to be served. A big steaming pot was on the first shelf. She bowed humbly as she began to place the food on the table; a couple of baskets of bread rolls, on for each side, a butter dish and knife for each basket, and lastly two platters of seasoned steamed green beans. She placed on in front of Jack, and the other in front of Cecilia who looked up at her then Grace, and made a face of disgust. Emily laughed at her daughter, fully appreciating what Grace and Betty had done on such short notice to make the dinner special for Robbie and Cecilia.

Next, Betty pushed the squeaky cart around the table and served the beef stew, starting with Cecilia and Grace, and lastly Lola and Paul Marshall. When Betty and her squeaky cart left the room, Jack, Emily, Cecilia and Grace were snickering. Leon, Lola, and Paul did not know what to make of things.

Cecilia reached for the dinner rolls and took a couple for herself and probably way too much butter. Everybody followed suit by reaching for and passing the plates around the table. Lola and Paul seemed almost horrified. Cecilia reached for the platter of green beans and passed it to her mother. Emily took some for herself offering them to Grace. She then placed a couple on her daughter's plate. Cecilia took the beans and put them on her mother's plate.

"Cecilia!" Emily responded.

"I'm twenty-eight, mother, not eight. You cannot make me eat those." She replied.

Emily laughed. "You are acting like you are eight, young lady." She teased. "Do you still hate them?"

"Yes."

Grace laughed. "This was not part of my plan. Robbie hates them almost as much as Cee." She replied. "Betty once chopped some up and put them in the stew and poor Robbie sat there eating crying the whole time because he knew if he did not finish his stew I would not make him desert."

"Cecilia didn't get desert if she didn't eat her beans either." Emily responded.

Cecilia grinned and turned to her father who buried his head in his hands as she turned back to her mother. "Father would come to my room later and give me desert or a cup of chocolate."

"Jack!"

Jack laughed at his wife.

A few moments later Betty entered again and asked if anybody wanted seconds. Cecilia raised her hand. Betty pushed the cart toward Cecilia.

"Oh for heaven's sake, Betty! Must you use that cart?" Emily asked.

Betty was pouring more stew into Cecilia's bowl. "I'm sorry. It is the only push cart I have that is low enough to put this pot on to serve. Would you like more stew?"

Emily shook her head. "We will have to get a new cart by the time Robbie comes home. And I would love more stew."

After the second helping of stew everyone pretty much had their fill. Everyone, except Cecilia, enjoyed the beans.

Much to the horror of her mother, Cecilia with a chuckle put her spoon down and lifted her bowl to her face proceeding to lick her bowl clean. "Cecilia!"

Grace laughed. "Remember when Robbie did that with a bowl of tomato soup and nearly half of it ended up on his shirt?"

Cecilia put her clean bowl down. "I do! I was still the 'proper little girl' when I ate with him then." She laughed as Grace lifted her own bowl to her face to lick it clean. Cecilia then noticed it, on her plate: a bean! "Mother!"

"One bean, Cecilia. It's not going to kill you. It's good for you."

"Then you eat it." She replied putting it back on her mother's plate. She made a pouting face. "I still get desert, right?"

"Yes. You get desert." Emily replied shaking her head. "Honestly, have you ever tried them? I've never see you even try them. How do you know that you do not like them?"

"I've tried them." She replied. "Marjorie prepared them for me when she invited me to her flat for dinner. I've tried them at a fine restaurant. And I even prepared them myself once when they were the only green vegetable available. And I hated them every time."

Grace turned to the table. "If everybody has saved some room for desert, I will prepare one of my son's favorites," she turned to Jack. "If I may be excused, sir?"

"Of course." Jack responded.

"Your Besty is a stupendous cook. You are quite fortunate." Marshall replied. "I simply cannot wait to see what she has in store for desert. That simple beef stew was quite a surprise. Who knew peasant food could taste so wonderful."

Cecilia swallowed to hold her tongue. Her mother noticed and placed a loving hand on her daughter's knee. Jack said nothing. He was anticipating desert, hoping that Robbie liked chocolate.

A few moments later, Grace and Betty emerged, pushing a different cart. Servings of oatmeal pancakes with chocolate sauce and an oatmeal brown sugar crumble on top. Grace served Cecilia and then took her seat to allow Betty to serve her and the others.

"Grace, this is wonderfully simple but delicious. You should make this more often." Leon replied. "Do something different for the pancakes or toppings perhaps?"

"Thank you, Leon. This is one of Robbie's favorites." Grace replied turning to Cecilia. "Do you know how to make pancakes, Cee?"

Cecilia had just placed a rather large fork full of pancake into her mouth and was caught off guard by Grace's question. She shook her head as she swallowed. "No, I do not. Don't think they would come out right with egg powder. I can't keep fresh eggs. The ice box in my flat is not the best at keeping things cold, and I can never tell what my schedule is. I don't chance trying to keep something like eggs. I guess I will have to learn now won't I? This and oatmeal."

Lola looked at her cousin. "Why on Earth would you want to prepare oatmeal?"

"Because my fiancé loves oatmeal. I intend to cook for him." Cecilia replied.

"Just have your cook prepare it. That is their job." She replied.

"Robbie and I will probably not be able to afford a cook and besides, I want to cook for my husband. I prepare my own meals for myself at my flat. I quite enjoy it, fending for myself. You should try it sometime."

Marshall was the first to finish. "Again, Jack, your staff must be commended." He replied. "This was simply stupendous! I never would have imagined again, how something so simple could possibly be so delicious. Grace, I assume you used my chocolate for the sauce?"

Grace looked at Marshall. "No, sir, I did not. It came from a jar." She replied finding a bit of pleasure in telling the pompous man that the chocolate that he had just enjoyed so much was not only not his but came from a jar.

"Goodness gracious! Why on Earth use jarred chocolate sauce when you have all that wonderful chocolate I donated yesterday?" he asked.

"Because this desert was for my absent son. He loved this chocolate sauce. He would put it on _everything_ and I do mean everything."

Cecilia laughed. She put it on things too when she ate with Robbie. "Say, I wonder if it would make green beans tasty?"

"There are still some beans left. Would you like to try it now?"

Everyone was horrified at Cecilia's suggestion and prayed she said no. Cecilia laughed. "Um, I don't think so, Grace, but thank you. Thank you for everything."


	11. Changes

**Disclaimer** Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.

**Author's notes**

Thank you for your reviews and feedback. I hope to make this story enjoyable. I write it on paper then type it up. So there is room for revisions when I type it up.

All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.

A "What if...?" Story. "What if Robbie made it home?

Love Never Dies

by

Ninja Elizabeth

**Chapter 11: Changes**

Mail call. A cattle call was more like it, Briony thought as she stood in the crowd with the other waiting and hoping her name would be called. She never really had any desire to wait in the crowd. Usually she went to the Ward Sister's office later to check if she had gotten mail. But now she was anxious. It had been over two months since she and Cecilia had written to Robbie and they had yet to get a reply. She was beginning to worry. She had even telephoned to house to as Grace if she had heard from him. Nothing. She wondered how Cecilia managed all these years. It was driving her nuts.

Nurse Bennet was in charge of distributing the mail this time. Groans of disappointment came from the crowd when she announced that there was no more mail. Briony heaved a disappointed sigh of her own and started to walk away. Nurse Bennet called out to her.

"Tallis." She called out as Briony turned around. The Head Nurse pulled out two letters from her apron. "This one is yours, and this one is for Sister Tallis. I trust you will give your sister her letter?"

Briony gave a weak chuckle. "Yes, thank you. And don't worry. It will make it into her hands unopened. I have no intention of opening anything intended for my sister again."

With that, Nurse Bennet returned to her other duties. Briony was off duty. She looked around the ward trying to spot her sister whom she knew always made rounds during her shift and she knew that Sister Tallis was supposed to be on duty. She like the other probationers and nurses resented her behavior at first. They thought she was looming, watching them like a vulture waiting to down upon them at the slightest infraction. It soon became evident however that Sister Tallis worked very differently than Sister Drummond and she liked to be on the Ward floor as much as possible, not to watch them, but to lend a helping hand. She was there in the trenches with them. She made herself available for questions and was always willing to help. Briony even had a shift scrubbing bed pans with her sister when the nurse assigned to work beside Briony was called away due to a family emergency. She found it amusing when Cecilia told her that day that she had written to Robbie about her going into nurse's training and how hard it was to believe her with a bedpan. Much to her dismay, the rumors of an affair continued.

Briony turned as she heard her friend's distinct giggle behind her, and sighed.

"If you're looking for Sister Tallis, I saw her run into the loo a few minutes ago while you were waiting for the mail." Fiona snickered. "Sister Drummond ran in after her! I'll bet they are locked in one of the stalls snogging!"

Angrily, Briony looked her friend in the eye. "Will you please stop? Just stop."

"Stop what?"

"The rumors. They are not true. They are not funny anymore. They never were. Maybe it's because Sister Tallis is my sister, but whatever the reason, they are not funny. Sister Tallis is engaged and if you even suggest that she may be cheating on her fiancé, then you do not know how devoted my sister can be." Briony replied.

"Devoted? Ha! She hates you. For what? A simple lie? That doesn't sound like devotion to me." Fiona replied.

"It wasn't a simple lie. I could have told the truth at any moment, but I continued. I even twisted evidence to bolster my lie. I betrayed my sister's trust in many ways that night."

"It's all in good fun. Lighten up, Briony."

"It's not 'good fun' when the rumors hurt people." Briony replied.

Briony left her friend in search of her sister heading for the lavatories.

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Briony entered the lavatory. She saw Sister Drummond standing outside the stall furthest from the door. She was relieved. Although she knew it wasn't true that her sister and Sister Drummond were involved in an affair, there was a small part of her mind that asked 'what if you're wrong?'

"Do you want me to come in and hold your head?" Briony heard Sister Drummond ask the person in the stall whom she assumed had to be Cecilia.

She heard the stall's occupant vomit into the toilet, then shout back. "Christ no!"

"Sister Drummond? It's Briony." A worried Briony responded to the Ward Sister who was so concerned with the last stall's occupant that she did not notice her enter. "Is my sister in there? Is she all right?"

Before Sister Drummond could respond, Briony had rushed over to her and opened the stall.

Cecilia lifted her head to respond only to have her stomach revolt again. Briony watched as her sister vomited again in the toilet. Her sister looked pale.

"Cecilia? Are you all right?" Briony asked wanting to sit next to her sister but there was no room in the small cubicle. She had never seen her sister in the condition she was in now and it worried her deeply.

Finally, Cecilia could sit up. She looked at Marjorie at the door of the cubicle and then her sister behind her. "I'm fine." She replied weakly. "There is no need for concern."

Briony would hear none of it. "Cecilia! You are in the loo, leaning over the toilet vomiting instead of on duty patrolling the ward." She responded. "Don't tell me that's normal and that you are fine!"

"It may be normal for the next couple of months or so." Cecilia smiled looking at her friend. She could see it on her face that she understood her condition. Her sister did not. "I ate something this morning that did not agree with me." It was the truth, but not the entire truth. Cecilia did not wish to elaborate on the floor in a cubicle in front of the toilet.

Briony wasn't buying it.

"Briony," Marjorie replied, "why don't you go with your sister to the office and see that she gets some rest. Cecilia, I'll watch the ward for you. You are off duty, are you not, Nurse Tallis?"

"I am," Briony replied as Marjorie and Briony helped Cecilia get to her feet. "Shouldn't we call for a doctor?"

"A doctor? What for?" Marjorie asked amused that Briony really didn't know what was wrong with her sister.

"To examine her of course." Briony responded.

"I'll be all right, Briony. I just need to rest a bit." Cecilia reassured. Briony glared at her sister with concern. "I've been to the doctor. I'm all right. I promise. I just need some rest."

As they walked out, Briony suddenly stopped causing Sister Drummond to bump into her and Cecilia.

"What's wrong? Why are you stopping?" Sister Drummond asked.

"Um," she stuttered. "Word on the floor is that you followed Sister Tallis in here and the two of you were… are… well… um… uh…"

Both Ward Sisters burst out laughing. It was not the reaction Briony expected.

"Nurse Tallis, rumors of your sister and I having an affair is not new to us." Marjorie replied. "They have been around ever since Cecilia first came to the hospital. I was about three months ahead of her. She and I were paired up and she quickly rose through the ranks as I did. We were very competitive of each other and developed a tight and close friendship. The reasons for our quick ascent became the talk of the ward. Affairs with the Ward Sister at the time, affairs with the doctors, administrators, were the usual rumors. Our friendship did not go unnoticed either and rumors of just how deeply our friendship ran fueled the rumor mills as well. There are many nurses still here who were probationers at the same time as your sister and I who probably will never get promoted. I'm sure they have some resentment. When it was learned that I personally requested Sister Tallis to return to help us, I'm sure they started the rumors all over again. I know how deeply Cecilia loves Robbie. She told me all about him during our time as probationers."

The three of them exited the lavatories and were greeted by quick turn a rounds, and not so indiscreet snickering. Sister Drummond scolded those paying attention to them and not to their work and quickly got the ward back to order. Briony insisted on assisting her sister in walking to the office despite her protests.

Once inside the office, Briony pulled out the hide-away-bed and helped her sister sit down. Cecilia was feeling much better now that she was off the ward floor.

"Briony, will you pour me a glass of water?" Cecilia asked.

As she poured the water, Briony's concern renewed itself. "Cee, please tell me the truth. What is wrong with you? I've never seen you vomit like that before. It's never been like you to fall ill so violently." She hoped her sister would open up now that it was just the two of them."

"There is nothing wrong. Getting sick to my stomach is perfectly normal for someone in my current condition. It was probably triggered by something I ate or even something I smelled in the ward. The doctor said that scents could set off feelings of nausea. I feel much better now that we are in the office." Cecilia replied amused by her sister's panic. "It should pass in a couple of months."

"Your current condition? A couple of months? Cee? What is wrong with you?" Briony asked again.

"I've missed two cycles, Briony." Cecilia answered. "And I've have heard from my doctor that the rabbit died."

"What are you talking about? What do rabbits have to do with anything?"

Cecilia laughed. She was excited. She knew that Marjorie _knew_ her condition without her having to actually telling her but she was anxious to tell someone. "Briony, I'm pregnant."

"What?" Briony exclaimed. "How can you be pregnant?"

"Please tell me that you are merely excited and are not so naïve that you are not actually asking me how." Cecilia replied.

"Of course I'm excited! I'm going to be an aunt!" Briony replied. "But how? I mean Robbie's in prison. It is Robbie's isn't it?"

Cecilia felt a bit hurt by Briony even questioning the paternity of her child, but she had to laugh a bit. Perhaps her little sister was just that naïve that she did not know how one actually got pregnant. "I've never been with anybody else but Robbie, Briony. Let's just say giving him a bath in the Nurse's Lavatory wasn't the only rule I broke before leaving for my holiday and he was taken to prison."

Briony didn't know what else to say. Then she remembered what she had wanted to tell her. "I almost forgot. We got mail, Cee. You got a letter from Robbie! At least, I'm pretty sure it's from Robbie. The return address is the prison." She handed her sister her letter.

Cecilia took the letter and looked at the handwritten address of the hospital with her name 'Ward Sister Cecilia Tallis'. It was Robbie's handwriting. She recognized it and knew it well from reading his letters over and over again. She kept all of his letters in a special keepsake box. She carefully opened the seal and removed the letter, unfolding it and read it to herself.

'_Dearest Cecilia, I love you. If you are reading this letter, then it means that we are one step closer to being able to write freely. I am hoping this letter reaches you. I love you. I love you with all my heart. I love you, I love you, I love you. Cecilia, did I mention I love you?'_

Cecilia laughed out loud and continued reading.

'_I won't lie to you and tell you that I'm all right. It's awful in here. But then again, please do not worry. I'm not in seclusion anymore so it's better than it was before I left to join the Army. I have a cell mate and there is a toilet and sink! Before I had two buckets in the corner. I also have more to hold on to than just a few moments in the library. Most of the polish has now worn off my toes. I got some ribbing about them but much less than I expected. Most I found were a bit jealous that I had a woman like you who loved me and was waiting for me. I told them about us, Cee. My cell mate says I'm a lucky man. His girl left him for another while he's been in here, not that he blames her, but not you. You still love me and are waiting._

_I am hoping to qualify for one of the prison jobs they have to offer. There are jobs in the laundry, janitor services, cooking, and grounds upkeep. I've put in a request for the grounds upkeep and stated my experience working for your father. I'm sure I'll be able to get a position but it still all depends. Things in prison are not like the outside world_._ Nobody cares about what you were out there. In here, no one cares that I am Robbie Turner, only son of Ernest and Grace. I'm just Turner, or 6445891._

_I hope that the next step is that they will allow you to visit me. I want to see you again. But if not, Cee, I want you to know that I love you. Do you think you could take a picture and send it to me? Not that I need it to remember you but it would be nice to have it to look at. Other prisoners have pictures and they have asked me about what you look like._

_I got a letter from your father. He told me that he has granted me permission and blessing to marry you. In my heart we are married already._

_Cecilia, I love you. I hope to hear from you soon. For now, I'm going to find a dark corner to read._

_All my heart,_

_Robbie'_

Cecilia had tears in her eyes by the time she finished the letter. They were tears of mixed emotions. While she was excited and happy to hear from him, the reality of the matter was that he was locked away in prison. She was happy to read the words 'I love you' in his handwriting over and over again, but she could not hold him and tell him that she loved him. She could not hear his voice.

"Cecilia?" Briony asked. "Is everything all right? It is from Robbie right? He's written a normal letter right? I told him to write to you, me and your mother and send them at the same time. If one of us didn't receive a letter then we would know that was being monitored."

"I'm all right, Briony. Thank you." Cecilia replied wiping away her tears. "He said 'I love you.' It's just that he's not here to tell me he loves me. I always cry when I read his letters. We couldn't write those words the last time he was in prison."

"I know. Robbie told me about your coded letters. I wish I was that clever." Briony responded.

"You are quite clever. I would never be able to come up with all those characters let alone put them in a story." Cecilia complimented. "You are still writing, aren't you?"

"I am." Briony answered.

"That's good." Cecilia replied. "As silly as some of your earlier work was, I always thought you would make a good writer. You certainly had the determination."

"Cecilia, you are going to write Robbie back and tell him about your pregnancy, aren't you?"

"Not yet."

"But why not?" Briony asked in a bit of shock. "You said it was Robbie's. Don't you want to tell him the wonderful news?"

"Of course I do, Briony. But first I want to make sure that I can write back as openly as he did to me. It's one thing for him to write me and say 'I love you.' But someone writing him, let alone me, writing 'I love you' may be a different matter entirely. My letters could still get censored." Cecilia replied. "And secondly, I'm hoping that I will be allowed to visit him so I can tell him in person and see his face. I've written the prison requesting to see him but I've yet to hear from him. Grace has done the same. She has yet to hear anything. Marjorie has already assured me that she will give me time off to do so when I'm allowed."

Briony nodded. "You don't seem as excited as I thought you would be, Cee." She replied. "You are having a baby! Robbie's baby!"

"I am excited but I've been through too much heartbreak to allow myself to get too excited at the moment. The reality of things, Briony, is that Robbie is still in prison. He's not here to share this moment with me."

Briony sighed. It was her fault. "You have to believe that Robbie will be set free and the two of you will be married one day, Cee. You have too!"

"I do. I believe it with all my heart. I'm not going to give up on him. It's what keeps me going. But it's also what keeps me up at night. I cannot count the many times I've cried myself to sleep thinking of him." Cecilia replied. "Then there is also the fact that even if he is cleared of the charges, there will always be a stain on his name. There will forever be those who will continue to think of him as guilty no matter what the evidence shows or what we can prove. He was convicted and therefore must be guilty. When we marry, I will become Cecilia Turner. I will carry that stain and his 'sins' will become mine."

It made her smile the way Cecilia said 'when we marry' and 'Cecilia Turner'. "I'm sorry."

Cecilia looked at her sister, seriously. "Briony, do me a favor and stop apologizing to me about what you did." She replied. "It's not going to help in my forgiving you any sooner or hate you any less. I accept your apology. Honestly, I do. You are my little sister and nothing has ever changed that. That is why I can sit here, talk to you, accept your apology. But understand that I cannot bring myself to forgive you just yet. What you did to me, whether conscious or unconscious hurt. I know my rejection of you has hurt you as well. We were always so close until that moment. You've spent your time trying to figure out just how much you hurt me, trying to understand just what you did. You still do not fully understand that. I've gotten over my personal pain and have moved on. Accepting you as my little sister again, I have now begun the healing process with mother and father. We just need some time, Briony."

"I'm s—," Briony stopped herself. "Yes, Cee. I think I understand. And thank you for always being my sister. I feared that I had lost you forever. And thank you for helping me to redeem myself, if not for you and Robbie, but for myself."

"You are most welcome." Cecilia replied. "So, tell me, Aunt Briony. Are you excited about your unborn niece or nephew? Will you tell her or him bedtime stories when you babysit?"

"You have to ask me that? Of course I'm excited! I will tell him or her the most glorious of stories!" Briony exclaimed. "I can't wait to babysit. Your child is going to be so adorable and beautiful, if a girl, or handsome, if a boy."

Cecilia smiled. "You are going to have to help change the nappies as well, you know."

Briony laughed. "Shouldn't be so bad. Can't be much worse than emptying and cleaning the bed pans now can it?"

"I don't know about that. Bed pans are metal. Nappies are made of cloth." Cecilia replied. "Here at the hospital we have special cleaners, and gloves."

"Hadn't thought of that." Briony chuckled. "Oh! Can I help choose a name? Or rather suggest a couple of names not to consider?"

Cecilia laughed. "Lola Briony Turner."

The two sisters laughed together. It had been quite some time since the two of them shared a moment of laughter.

"It's good to hear you laugh, Cee. It's been a while. I can't remember the last time we laughed together." Briony said.

"It has been a while, hasn't it?" Cecilia replied. After a brief pause, Cecilia spoke again. "I have always liked the name Helen. In fact I can remember telling Betty when I was little that when Robbie and I got married we were going to have a beautiful princess together and call her Helen."

Briony started laughing again. "Betty? Why would you tell Betty that?"

"I always talked to Betty when I would 'help' out in the kitchen." Cecilia responded.

"You didn't tell Grace?"

"Heaven's no!"

"Why not?" Briony asked. "She's Robbie's mother."

"Precisely why I never told her such things when I was little." Cecilia answered.

Briony laughed. "How about Helen Grace, then if you have a little girl?" Briony suggested.

"Helen Grace. That's lovely. I like that." Cecilia replied.

"So when do you intend on telling mother and father?" Briony asked.

"I don't know. You can tell them if you like. I'm sure a few days off can be arranged for you much more easily than me."

"Oh, can I?" Briony asked. "It would be a way to show them that we have made up and are on speaking terms again as well."

Cecilia smiled. "Just make sure that you tell Grace that I have yet to inform Robbie and wish to possibly tell him in person."

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It was around the beginning of the second week of September when Cecilia finally heard from the Bristol Prison about her inquiry about visiting Robbie. She was in the office when the letter was delivered along with various other bits of paperwork and reports for the Ward Sister to take care of.

Cecilia came across the letter in the middle of the stack. She opened the letter, slowly. After receiving Robbie's letter earlier in the week and reading his words 'I love you' she wasn't sure she could handle the prison saying no. Not now. Not with her emotions getting the best of her lately. Not with her morning sickness making her life miserable. Not with rumors of who the father of her child was spreading throughout the ward with a flurry. There were even several betting pools: Would she miscarry or carry it full term? That one hurt. Was she having a single child or twins? Would she have a boy or girl? She started to cry before she even read the letter. It was good news. The letter stated provided the prisoner, 6445891, continued his pattern of good behavior and stayed out of trouble prisoner, 6445891, would be allowed visitation rights. The decision on whether or not they would be allowed to wed, on prison grounds or another authorized secure site was pending. She cried.

Sister Drummond entered the office to find her friend crying. "Is everything all right?" she asked. "What was in the letter from the prison? Good news, I hope?"

Sister Tallis looked up at her friend and wiped her tears. "Why did you bury the letter in the middle of the stack?"

Sister Drummond laughed. "Because I expected you to react like this. Bursting into tears. If I had placed it on top you wouldn't have gotten any work done, Cecilia. At least I got half a tack out of you.

Cecilia gave her friend a sharp look and shook her head. "You know me too well. It's good news. They are going to allow me to visit as long as Robbie continues a pattern of good behavior which I am sure won't be a problem. A decision is pending on whether or not we will be allowed to marry. But in my present condition and the bombings…" she trailed off. "Even my father does not think it's wise that I travel to Bristol and he doesn't know that I'm pregnant. When I last telephoned him he expressed concerns that it's the beginning of something much larger scale. He's even worried about my traveling to my flat in Balham. My father wants me to come home. I want to see Robbie. I want to see his face when I tell him that I'm carrying his child. But I trust my father's intuition as well. If he knew that I was pregnant he would surely absolutely forbid me from traveling to Bristol."

"You haven't told your family yet?" Marjorie asked.

"No. Briony is going to do it." Cecilia replied. "She's going to tell them. She's gone home for her holiday. It will be assurance to the family to know that we are on speaking terms again."

Marjorie smiled. She knew how close Cecilia was to her family. She was glad she finally found it in her heart to open up to them again. "Are you sure you don't want to go home and tell them yourself? I can give you the time off."

"You have done so much for me already." Cecilia replied. "It's no wonder everyone thinks we're having an affair."

Marjorie laughed. "Let them." She replied. "I know it hurts once in a while but if it keeps their spirits up and in a good mood, then I won't stop the rumors. We need them to stay upbeat about things."

"True. It's the betting pools that are hurting me at the moment." Cecilia responded. "Did you know that there is a pool on whether or not I will miscarry or go full term? I had Nurse Paxton investigate the pools, and that particular one seems to have the highest pay out with miscarriage being the top bet."

"Oh my goodness. That is uncalled for. I will have to put a stop to that one then." Marjorie replied. "I've known about the pools, or at least some of them. The one I found quite humorous is what you will be naming your child. Marjorie is the top female name, and Major is the top male name."

"Major?"

Marjorie shook her head and shrugged. "I guess it's a male version of Marjorie someone came up with? I'm certain no one but you know that I had a twin brother named Martin, or I am sure they would have used that. Edward, James, Richard and Henry are pretty popular. For a girl, Victorie, Hope, Charlotte and Annabelle, are the popular choices. I liked the names Bronson and Ellen. Have you come up with names yet?"

Cecilia laughed. "Bronson? Did you put money on that one?"

"Heaven's no. But I did look at their list when they weren't paying attention."

"Good because it would have been a bad bet. Ellen is pretty close. Helen Grace Turner, if it's a girl. And I was thinking of Jack Robert Turner, if it's a boy. But I want to talk to Robbie about them first."

Marjorie pouted. "You're not naming it after me?" She teased.

"I've always liked Helen. Grace is Robbie's mother. Jack is my father. Robert should be obvious."

"Those are lovely names. You know I'm only teasing you. I'm sure Robbie will like them and appreciate that you are making him a part of the decision." Marjorie replied. "But why don't you go and get some rest. I am going to need you for the first part of the night watch."

Cecilia nodded and went off to the Nurse's Dorms to rest.

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Briony entered the house. She noticed her father's car parked outside. It surprised her that he was home but happy that he would be there to share Cecilia's news. She made her way to the kitchen. She found Betty alone.

"Hello, Betty. Where's Grace?" She asked.

"Oh, hello, Briony." Betty responded. "She's upstairs with your mother in the parlor having tea. Will you be staying for dinner?"

"Yes. I have a couple of days." Briony replied. "I promise not to make obnoxious menu demands or change the menu after I've made a request."

"Argh!" Betty grunted in exasperation. "Cecilia told you about the dinner with the Marshalls, I presume?"

"She did and I can't believe she helped with preparing it." Briony replied.

Betty laughed. "She did help and did a wonderful job." She replied. "She used to help me all the time when she was little, doing little things. She made this savory chocolate sauce for the beef with Marshall's awful stuff. It actually was quite tasty. And the dessert. Now that was a work of art. She managed to make it so that she used the chocolate as demanded but it didn't have to be the star if one didn't want it to be. Your father absolutely loved it, and you know how picky he is about dessert."

"Did he know Cecilia made it?"

"Yes, he did. And he knew about the Marshall chocolate." Betty replied.

"What did she make?" Briony asked curiously.

"She called it 'gin et tonique parfait avec chocolat bruine'. We had a good laugh. No doubt the joke was lost on Mr. Marshall."

"Joke?"

"Dinner was requested by him. 'Filet mignon with pommes boulangere, salade Francaise avec Poires and for an appetizer, _Vichyssoise' which is basically fillet steak with a potato onion bake, French green salad with pears and an appetizer of cold potato leek soup__.__ But of course, he had to give it in French. It's a good thing I understand French."_

_Briony laughed. "What was it Cecilia made?"_

_"_Gin et tonique parfait avec chocolat bruine." Betty replied. "Gin and tonic flavored parfait with chocolate drizzle. It was quite ingenious of her to come up with the flavor layers. She flavored the gelatin with gin, made a tonic infused cake and vanilla lime ice cream. She put the chocolate on the side to drizzle just to satisfy Mr. Marshall's demands but it went nicely with or without the chocolate."

"Wow. She came up with that all on her own?"

"For the most part, yes. She was looking through my recipes. I know I've made all you children a simple parfait at one time or another. I think Robbie asked once if he could have pancakes and oatmeal as layers once. Cecilia laughed at him. She was always fond of yogurt and fruit in hers. Why she made a gin and tonic one that night, I have no idea."

"Gin and tonic is her favorite cocktail." Briony replied. "How she would decide to combine that with dessert I don't know."

Betty laughed. "She definitely is the daughter of Jack Tallis. Your father is very fond of dessert."

"Robbie is going to be one lucky fellow to have her cook for him." Briony responded.

"I'm not so sure about that. She may be fine with dessert, but other stuff not so much. I only assigned her to make the chocolate mustard sauce for the beef because she had tasted it before, and savory sauces are not much different than sweet sauces in their preparation other than some ingredients." Betty replied. "She's pretty hopeless when it comes to making Robbie's favorite foods. I don't think Robbie would be too keen on eating crispy egg wafers and a bowl of lumpy glue every morning despite the fact that he will eat just about everything if you tell him to eat it, especially if Cecilia made it. Grace has volunteered to teach her of course."

"Crispy egg wafers and lumpy glue?"

"Pancakes and oatmeal." Betty answered.

"Hold on. You mean to tell me Cecilia can make a gin flavored gelatin but she can't make something as simple as pancakes and oatmeal?" Briony asked in disbelief. "It's a wonder she hasn't starved herself to death living alone."

Betty laughed. "She's used to working with egg powder other instant foods. With her busy nurses schedule she probably doesn't trust the eggs to keep." She replied. "And I'll just bet she makes dessert over food. Your father would eat dessert for breakfast, lunch and dinner if I would let him. Cecilia can bake just fine. And I'm sure she learn can cook. She would help me in the kitchen all the time. She just has never made breakfast with me. She always woke up late, often missing breakfast with the family. Not until you were born did she start waking early enough to have breakfast with the family. She always wanted to watch your mother feed you, and later give you your bottle. She went away to study at Roedean when she was twelve."

Briony smiled. Betty was telling her things that she never knew about her sister. She didn't remember much about herself before the age of four. She never knew that Cecilia protected her at such a young age. She felt a bit guilty but further understood why Cecilia was hurt so much by her actions. "I should give you a little bit of an advanced warning. I'm sure my mother will be coming in here to request you make a special dinner for tonight. I have some very special news from Cecilia to share."

Betty grinned. "Let me guess." She responded. "You're going to be an aunt."

"Yes." Briony answered with a smile. Leave it to Betty to guess correctly. "And if I may make a request for dinner? I know Cecilia hates them but I like them and it's been a while since I've had yours. Could you make green beans for dinner? The ones at the hospital cafeteria are always too soft. Yours have just the right seasoning and snap."

"I would be happy to. Now why don't you go upstairs and share your news with your mother and Grace."

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Grace sat with Emily as they enjoyed their afternoon tea. Emily was happy that the two of them could once again sit and enjoy each other's company once again. Grace did not find it difficult in forgiving Emily for her defense of her youngest child. Now they sat together with the joy of knowing that her son and Emily's eldest daughter were in love and engaged.

"I hate this stupid war." Emily replied. "I want my daughters with me. I want to know that they are safe. I don't want to have to worry about them night after night. Jack says things are going to get worse."

"I know what you mean." Grace responded. "I was so terribly worried when Robbie was in France fighting. I kept waiting for his letters to assure me that he was all right. I worry about him in prison too. Cecilia told me that when he was first imprisoned they had to write in code and couldn't tell each other that they loved each other. If they said anything of the sort in their correspondence the letters were confiscated and not delivered."

"I did not know that. Of course, I know nothing of those first years. But they did find a way to correspond did they not?"

Grace chuckled. "Yes. Cecilia told me that the first letter Robbie received was a letter in which she wrote in detail about finding Robbie's notes about the vagina in his copy of Grey's Anatomy most helpful and went on to tell him in detail how she was studying the act of human intercourse and the reproductive system in her nurse's training."

Emily burst out laughing. "Oh my. Did Cecilia get to visit him?" Emily asked.

"No. They wouldn't allow her to." Grace replied. "She didn't get to see him until shortly before he was deployed."

"I'm so sorry. Had I known I would have allowed you more time to visit your son."

"Do not worry about it, Emily. We have their future to look forward to and plan. I'm holding onto the hope that Robbie will be freed and my son and your daughter will be married."

"Cecilia hates me." Emily replied sadly. "She visits you, but she's never come to visit me. She only came to the house in June because she wanted to share the news of her engagement with you. If you hadn't told her to talk to my husband and me, she probably would have left without a word. She only wants us to help free Robbie."

"Don't say that. She doesn't hate you, Em. She's just hurt." Grace replied. "She loves you. She always talks about you when she comes and visits. Give her time. If she can find it in her heart to talk to Briony again, she will be able to be close to you again too."

"Did you know while she was here in June she actually cleaned and organized her room?" Emily laughed. "I hardly recognize it now."

Grace laughed.

The door to the parlor opened and both ladies turned to glare at the intruder.

"Briony! Come in. Sit down." Emily responded before realizing that Grace might still harbor ill feelings for her youngest child. "If that is all right with you, Grace."

"It's all right, Em. If Cecilia can talk to her again, than I can try. And she is your daughter."

"Thank you, Grace. I do have some news which you both would be interested in hearing." Briony replied before turning to her mother and taking a seat next to her. "I noticed father's car. Is he here?"

"Yes, he is. He's working on building a case for Robbie's innocence." Emily replied. "He really tries to come home at least on the weekends or one day a week. He's very worried about you and your sister working in town. How are things at the hospital? How often does Cecilia go home to her flat in Balham? He's very worried with the bombings that have started."

"Not too often now. She stays in the dorms. She goes there once in a while to distance herself I think. But with how busy we've gotten lately, she stays close in case she's required to work. We can hear the air raid sirens go off and the anti-aircraft guns."

"Your father says that Cecilia told him that she wants to make a career out of nursing and go to medical school when the war is over. The hospital is going to sponsor her to further her training. Have you given any thought as to what you want to do when the war is over? I can't picture you as a nurse."

"Oh I hate it!" Briony laughed. "Both Sister Drummond and Sister Tallis think I make a horrible nurse. I will probably pursue my writing when the war is over and have time to concentrate. I still write but work makes it so hard to really sit and think about plots and characters. I've submitted a few stories and novellas. So far only rejections but I did get one with a lovely criticism attached. Oh, and I think Cecilia may have a change in her plans."

"Really?" Grace asked. "You know how set in her ways Cecilia can be, Briony. And she's mentioned to me about pursuing nursing as well. Once she makes up her mind about something it takes a lot to change her mind."

"She hasn't changed her mind exactly." Briony teased. "But she may have new priorities that may cause her to rethink her career path, that's all."

Emily looked at her daughter. "You aren't saying that she is abandoning her nursing career to try to prove Robbie innocent and free him are you? Your father is doing his best, working during his free time to do that."

Briony couldn't help herself and grinned. "No. Nothing like that." She replied.

"Has she fallen ill?" Emily asked now very worried. "Briony. What has happened?"

"Nothing has happened. Well, no. That's not true. Something has happened." Briony was having a bit of fun teasing hers and Robbie's mother. "It's just her current condition my cause her to rethink about pursuing nursing. She's probably thinking of quitting soon."

"Her current condition? Briony, what is wrong with my Little Cee? Is she all right? Has she seen a doctor?"

"She's seen a doctor and she's fine. If anybody is to blame for her condition it's Robbie." Briony continued to tease.

Grace turned to Briony. "Why do you always have to blame my son? Robbie would never harm anybody, especially Cecilia."

"I didn't say he's harmed her, only responsible." Briony replied deciding that the ladies had been teased enough. "Grace, mother. Cecilia is pregnant."

"What?" both ladies squealed at the same time.

Emily looked at her daughter. "Briony, are you sure it's all right with Cecilia for you to be telling us this?"

"It is. She said I could tell you." She replied. "Isn't it wonderful? I'm going to be an aunt!"

"Grandmother Tallis, congratulations." Grace responded.

Emily laughed. "Congratulations to you as well, Grandmother Turner."

Grace turned to Briony. "Has she told Robbie yet?" she asked.

"No. She's hoping to be able to visit him and tell him in person. She wants to see the look on his face." Briony replied. "With the bombings, the transit unreliable."

"Perhaps your father can drive her or us out for a visit." Grace replied. "I can still recall the look on Ernest's face when I told him I was with child. I don't blame her wanting to see that look."

"Mother, do you think father would drive Cecilia to Bristol to see Robbie when she gets permission?"

"I don't know about that. He's very worried about the bombings." Emily replied. "But regardless, this warrants a celebration. My baby girl and little girl are on speaking terms again, and my little girl is expecting our first grandchild, your first grandchild, Grace! Go downstairs, inform Betty of the celebration, tell my husband that I wish to speak to him in my parlor, and telephone Leon. Tell him that I would like him to come to dinner tonight."

"My little boy is going to be a father." She smiled.

Grace left the parlor. Briony smiled at her mother. Emily was happy.

Moments later they heard the sound of Jack Tallis' footfalls thundering down the hall and the parlor doors swung open.

"Briony! What has happened to my Little Cee?" Jack responded looking at his youngest child with a worried expression. "Emmie dear, what has happened!"

Emily tried to keep calm. Her poor husband was panicked. She wondered what on Earth Grace had told him to get him so worked up. "Jack darling, take a seat."

Jack sat down quickly. The faster he sat the quicker Emily or Briony would tell him what was going on. "Grace said there was news about Cecilia's medical condition. What medical condition? Is she all right? Please tell me my Little Cee is all right?"

"Jack, everything is fine." Emily chuckled. "I guess Grace thought it was fair to do the same thing to you that Briony did to her and myself."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Cecilia is fine. She's expecting a baby. Robbie's baby." Emily replied.

"What? My Little Cee is pregnant?" Jack responded. "Now I wish I had bought three bottles of wine. We must have the whole family here for a celebration. I assume Cecilia is working and can't make it. Leon must come for dinner. Briony, you do have her blessing to have told us this news?"

"Yes." Briony replied. "It's easier to schedule time off for a mere nurse than a Ward Sister. Besides, she just had a holiday in June."

Jack looked at his youngest. "Wasn't Robbie sent back to prison in June?" he asked.

"Yes."

Jack smiled. "She must have given the boy one hell of a shagging before he was taken away! Good for her."

"Jack!" Emily responded.

"What? If our daughter is pregnant, and her fiancé came home from the war in June, and returned to prison in June, she didn't have very much time with him." He replied. "I'm sure she was working most of the time and didn't spend a great deal of time with Robbie. I'm sure she wanted to give him something to remember her by."

"Well, you don't have to spell it out like that! She's still our little girl."

Jack laughed.

(-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-)

The Tallis family sat around the table along with Grace who was now a regular at the family table and Betty. Betty felt a bit odd.

"Betty, tonight you are most welcome with us tonight. You were very much a part of Robbie and Cecilia's lives growing up, and I'm sure they would want you here. I would have had you at the engagement dinner but it was much more amusing with you serving. That is why I like you so much. You are always so thoughtful in what you prepare for us."

Betty chuckled. "It was and is my pleasure. Thank you, sir."

The food had been laid out on the table, family style ready to be passed around. Emily noticed the beans.

"Betty, why did you make green beans again? You know how much Robbie and Cecilia detest them." She replied. "It was amusing for the engagement and homecoming dinner but not today."

"Briony requested them. You know how much she likes them." Betty answered.

Emily smiled as she looked at her youngest child. It made her happy to know that her daughters were talking again. Whether or not Cecilia could ever forgive her little sister did not matter. What did matter was that they were loving sisters once again.

They were about to begin passing around the food when Leon burst into the dining room. He looked at everyone casually seated at the table and noticed the cook, Betty seated at the table as well. Why was she sitting at the table? "What in the world is going on?" He asked. "Grace said to come home for dinner. There was news about Cecilia, some kind of a medical condition. Is she all right? Why is everyone seated at the table? Aren't you worried about Cecilia?"

Emily turned and glared at her charlady. She had obviously done the same thing to her eldest son as she did to her husband leading the young man to believe that something was wrong. She smiled as Grace looked far too innocent and looked away. "Leon, take your seat." She replied calmly. "There is nothing wrong with Cecilia. I'm sorry, but Grace was having a bit of fun in her excitement to let you in on the wonderful news. I'm afraid I would have probably done something similar. Your sister is doing just fine. Isn't that right, Briony?"

Briony was taken a bit off guard by her mother's question but quickly recovered realizing what she had just been asked. "Oh, yes. She's doing quite well. She's feeling sick and having trouble keeping certain foods down but otherwise normal."

Leon looked annoyed as he took his seat and glanced over at his youngest sister. "What would you know of Cee's condition? She hates you." He responded turning to his father. "Father, what is going on? I cancelled my dinner plans with the Marshalls to rush over here. This had better be important."

Jack looked at his son. "I certainly hope you consider your immediate family better company than your cousin and her husband, young man."

"Paul Marshall is my friend."

"And I am your father." He went around the table introducing everyone. "This is your mother, your baby sister, our charlady and mother of your sister's fiancé who has been with our family since before you were born, and our cook who was on the catering staff at my and your mother's wedding and on my kitchen staff ever since. Now sit." Jack turned to Briony when Leon had taken his seat. "Briony, do you wish to tell your brother Cecilia's news?"

Briony smiled and turned to Leon. "Cecilia is going to have a baby. You're going to be an uncle, Leon! Isn't that exciting?"

Leon turned to Briony. "What?" he exclaimed.

"Cecilia is pregnant."

"I heard you," Leon replied. "Who is the father?"

"Robbie, of course! Who else would it be?" Briony asked. She couldn't believe Leon. She hoped he was only teasing. "You know how much she loves him."

"I thought he was sent back to prison. Did they get married?" Leon asked.

Jack answered. "No, not yet. They are still waiting for an approval from the prison." He knew why his son was asking. He had insisted his son marry the girlfriends he had gotten pregnant. "Your sister and Robbie would be married by now if circumstances had not kept them apart."

"Would you have approved that union if the circumstances been different, father?" Leon asked. "I thought I had permission to invite Paul over to propose to Cecilia."

"You did. However it would be entirely up to her. Your sister is stubborn. I knew she would refuse if I asked her." Jack replied.

"No she wouldn't have. She's your favorite and you know she would do anything you ask of her." Leon responded.

"Then you do not know your sister as well as you think. Cecilia is very opinionated. She will speak her mind and do what she wants. I can give her suggestions, but if I give an order she will do just the opposite." Jack replied. "Going to medical school was not all Robbie had come to talk to me about. He brought up the possibility of asking for your sister's hand in marriage. Since I had already given you permission to introduce her to one of your friends, I told Robbie that I could not grant it. I told him that however that when he returned, if Cecilia was still available he had permission to come to me again."

"Did he ask you for permission to ask Cecilia to marry him?"

"He did not." Jack replied truthfully. "But then Cecilia was living on her own when he proposed and would not have cared if I did not approve. She had come to visit Grace. She often came to visit her."

Leon sighed. "You are always playing favorites. It's no secret that Cee is your favorite, father. Briony, can't you see it? Don't you agree with me?"

Briony shrugged. "I guess so, but I was always in my own little world." She replied. "I for one am very happy for Cecilia."

"Robbie doesn't have any money, father. How do you expect him to provide her?" Leon asked. "Are you going to provide for him like you have all his life? I am your first born, your son, not Robbie."

"And I have provided for you." Jack replied. "I provided for and sent you, Cecilia, Robbie and Briony to Cambridge. It was Briony's choice not to take her place. You did not place high enough in your exams to attend a boarding school. I would have sent Robbie however, Grace refused my offer. I was doing enough already. I insisted she not waste his enthusiasm and allowed me to provide a means for him to attend a university."

"Robbie is in prison."

"And your sister is madly in love with him." Jack replied. "If she wants to marry him, then I will not deny her. Tonight we are gathered to celebrate her joy of expecting a child. She is not here, because her job as Ward Sister prevents. She has sent Briony here to tell us of her news. If you do not wish to share in this joy, then you are free to leave and have dinner with your friends."

"It's not that. It's just lately all everyone seems to talk about is Cecilia." Leon replied. "She left home five years ago; refusing to speak to any of us, ignoring us. And then she returns with news that she is engaged and now expecting and she's welcomed home with open arms. And along with that comes this sudden support of Robbie. He was tried and found guilty."

Jack glanced at Grace, then turned back to his son. "Cecilia would always been welcomed home when she chose to return home. I was encouraged by her devotion to Robbie after all these years regardless of his innocence or guilt. If only I had that kind of devotion to your mother. You should not frown so much on her devotion." Jack replied. He was proud of his son finally showing some kind of back bone, but wished it was for something else. "Now make your decision. Eat with us, or not. I'm hungry and elated to be becoming a grandfather."

Leon sighed and turned to Briony. "Pass the broad beans please, Briony."

Emily looked to Betty. "Why did you prepare green beans this evening, Betty? You know how much Robbie and Cecilia detest them." She asked. "It was rather humorous the evening she returned home but not tonight."

"Briony requested them." Betty answered.

Emily smiled. It was nice to almost have her family back together again. She hoped Leon and Cecilia could settle their differences.


	12. Life

**Disclaimer** Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.

**Author's notes**

Thank you for your reviews and feedback. I hope to make this story enjoyable. I prefer to write it on paper then type it up and don't care much for typing, which is one of the reasons for my updating delays. And I can always revise what I have written to reflect your reviews and hopes of how you wish the story will progress. I still do not know how I am going to end this… ?

All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.

A "What if...?" Story. "What if Robbie made it home?

Love Never Dies

by

Ninja Elizabeth

**Chapter 12: Life **

Sister Drummond and Sister Tallis sat in the office discussing their schedule and how best to proceed was sure to be another hectic night with the German Luftwaffe bombing the city. Sister Drummond would be working a double shift and Sister Tallis would turn in for the evening, and wake for an overnight shift, then take over in the morning. They had Nurse Bennet coming on for the second night shift and Lieutenant Garfield.

Air raid sirens cut their conversation short and they rushed to the ward floor. With the injured civilians in the ward, just the sound of the sirens could cause them to panic. Any kind of loud noises could set off the soldiers. It would only be a matter of time before the sounds of artillery fire and exploding bombs would be heard.

Upon arriving the Ward Sisters found the ward in a state of panic. Sister Tallis immediately began to bark orders in order to make some sanity of the chaos. The nurses seemed to be harder to motivate than usual. Both women seemed to dread what was to come as the sound of the raging war could be heard closer than ever before. Many of the soldiers who were not yet fit for duty but capable of doing some tasks volunteered to help.

A nearby explosion followed quickly by another shook the building. The Luftwaffe was attacking. There was another shaking the building even harder. The sound of the explosion was even louder than before. The soldier working alongside Sister Tallis looked up.

"That was close." He responded just as an explosion shook the building hard enough to cause several nurses including Sister Tallis to lose their balance who fell into the arms of Lieutenant Garfield.

"That was too close." He whispered into Sister Tallis' ear before setting her on her feet.

The lights flickered for a moment as two more bombs shook the building and the sound of the anti-aircraft guns filled the air.

Everyone in the ward froze as the bombs and guns faded into the distance. The ward settled into a quite panic. Some began to sob.

A piercing scream from one of the nurses caused everyone to look in the general direction from which it came. A severely wounded and bloodied doctor hobbled into the ward. Sister Tallis was among a crowd of nurses who rushed to the doctor's aid.

The doctor turned to the Ward Sister. "The…North Wing… They hit the North Wing." He managed to reply before passing out.

Sister Tallis turned to the nurse who was closest to him holding him as he collapsed. The young nurse shook her head. Sister Tallis turned to Sister Drummond who had just arrived at the scene. She did not have to say a word. Sister Drummond began to bark orders out to the ward to prepare for the injured. Lieutenant Garfield took charge of the soldiers who were willing to lend a hand. It was going to be a long night.

Entering the dorms to get some rest, Sister Tallis followed the sounds of the sobs. She had seen several of the nurses' break down and leave the ward without permission, the reality of what their job involved had hit them hard. Some of the victims they had known. They had worked with the doctors and nurses. Tonight they were no longer nameless faces; they were colleagues, and sometimes even friends.

She took a seat next to them on the bed on which they were sitting.

"Sister Tallis!" One of them replied. "I'm, we are so sorry for leaving the ward without permission. Please don't discipline us."

"I'm not here to discipline you. None of you will be written up for your actions tonight." Sister Tallis replied. "Tonight has been difficult for us all. I was about to turn in for the evening. My current condition requires that I do get some rest. I have to be up to run things in the morning when I heard the sobbing."

Another nurse turned to the Ward Sister happy for a change in subject. "Ward Sister, you're pregnant aren't you? There have been rumors." she asked hoping that she was not out of line to ask. "I'm sorry if I'm out of line for asking."

Sister Tallis noticed the smile as the nurse asked her the question. "No, Nurse Banks. It's all right. Yes, I am pregnant. Three months. And its Jane am I correct?"

"What?"

"Your given name."

"Oh, yes. Jane Banks. I'm surprised you know it." Nurse Banks replied.

"I do make it a point to know all of your names. I'm really not as cold hearted as my reputation here dictates. I don't like to have to adhere to the cold militaristic Nightingale method, but at times I must."

Jane smiled. "May I ask your name Sister Tallis?"

"You may. My name is Cecilia."

"Oh such a lovely name!" another nurse replied. "I must remember that. Maybe I'll name a daughter Cecilia."

Sister Tallis chuckled looking at the nurse's name badge. "Nurse R. Sayre. Rose."

The nurse smiled. "You do know our names! I prefer Rosie."

"I told you I don't like the 'Nightingale method'. I would call you all by your names if Sister Drummond were not such an advocate. I think she would write me up for being so lackadaisical about the rules if I were not the nurse that I am. Probably why I was assigned to a maternity ward. But even there some of the Ward Sisters were so impersonal." She replied. "One couldn't allow even a few more minutes for a father who was calming his wife after one of their twins had died."

"Twins! Do you want twins, Sister Tallis?" Jane asked.

"Heavens no!" Sister Tallis responded with a chuckle. "Too much trouble. Two at once. I have twin nephews and the two of them are monsters. Although that may be due to the complete lack of discipline they received from their mother and their guardians. Still, I don't think I could handle twins. I'm only three months along and I can feel the strain of this pregnancy. While not frail, I am thin and I think I will burst by my ninth month if I am carrying twins. While we are here talking, you may all call me Cecilia."

The third nurse sitting with them sobbed. "How do you do it, Sister—I mean, Cecilia?" she replied through her tears. "How can you just go on the way you do after seeing all that death?"

"Nurse Frances Almond-Smith." Cecilia replied. "You must. It's not easy. There are nights that I cannot sleep because of what I have witnessed. But I try not to dwell on it. Tomorrow is another day. It may be better it may be worse. Try to focus on something positive. If you have any problems, come to me. My door is always open."

Rosie laughed. "That's not what Fiona says."

Cecilia turned to Rosie. "Fiona? Fiona Maguire?" 

"Yes."

"Fiona is an idiot." She replied. "I don't care if you tell her that. She's my sister's friend and honestly, I don't know why my little sister would befriend such a dreamer like her, no concept of reality… or perhaps that is exactly why. Briony once thought like that, living in her own fantasies. She got a harsh taste of reality when she betrayed me and took away my happiness."

"By accusing Robbie of raping your cousin." Jane replied. "How do you know he wasn't guilty?"

Cecilia glared at the young nurse. "I am not here to talk about my personal life like that. Don't accuse me of being foolish because I am in love with him. I know he is not guilty because of what happened that day."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything. Fiona said that she tried to talk to you. You said that she could talk to her but when she did you screamed at her and practically threw her out of the office."

"She said that?" Cecilia asked. "It's partially true. I did yell at her, rather harshly. Her timing was awful. We had received a letter from the Bristol Prison a few days earlier that stated that they would be coming to pick up Robbie to take him to the prison. The Army had given Private Turner an honorable discharge because they felt his battle with septicemia weakened him and he was no longer fit for duty, so he was being sent back to prison. I had yet to break the news to him. I didn't tend to him or speak to him at all that day, and he was due to be taken away the following morning, our anniversary of sorts. That was the condition I was in when she burst into the office demanding to talk to me."

Nurse Almond-Smith looked at Cecilia. "Private Turner. I remember him. He asked me to bring him some tea once. No milk, just two sugars."

"Yes, that would be him." Cecilia smiled.

"And he had the most beautiful blue eyes."

Rosie laughed. "He did, didn't he, Frankie?" she responded. "Oh, Cecilia, I hope your baby has his blue eyes."

Frankie sighed. "How can you be separated from the man you love like that and still find the will to live? It's hard enough to be separated from one's family. How do you go on; all those innocent victims, all your pain? How can you stand it? It's just not fair!"

"I could merely say that 'this is life' or 'this is war' but I won't. I'm sure you've heard it all before and it doesn't help. I'm sure you all have been told that many times by your superiors. I know I certainly have. It is difficult. It's not going to get any easier. Don't ever think that it will or you will lose your compassion for those who are counting on to help them. Robbie is my reason for life. That is why I must go on. That is why I do not care for the 'Nightingale Method'. I want to get to know those who I treat, just enough to help them through the night or ease their minds so that they can move on to the next life. I cannot begin to count how many nights I've cried myself to sleep thinking of Robbie or how many times I've woken up to a wet pillow from my tears from my dreams of him. I wake up at times feeling warm and comforted knowing that he loves me." Cecilia replied. "Everyone has a different way of dealing with the pain. I can't tell you how to deal with it. You have to find your own way. What you see on the ward floor is not always what you will see off duty or even behind closed doors."

"I wonder what Sister Drummond is like." Jane asked not really expecting an answer.

"Marjorie Drummond is not at all the stiff by the book Ward Sister you are used to." Cecilia replied.

"Really? How did you meet her, become friends with her?"

"We were probationers together. She was ahead of me in training. We were dorm mates. We bonded over something personal and it is not my business to share that with you. I was there for her as a friend, someone to talk to and share her feelings. She remained here while I was transferred to a maternity ward when our training was complete. When I'd heard that she had been promoted to Ward Sister in charge of training new recruits and thought how appropriate."

Another nurse had entered the room and chuckled. "You must have been more than just dorm mates from all the rumors that lingered."

Rosie, Jane and Frankie turned to see who it was. Sister Tallis only had to look passed the trio of nurses toward the door.

"Tell me, Nurse Fiona Maguire, are you that starved for attention that you must perpetuate your desire to be the center of attention by continuing to spread rumors about me? Are you jealous perhaps of the possibility of me getting sexual satisfaction while you are not? If it is sexual satisfaction that you need, Nurse Maguire, then I am sure I can find a soldier willing to satisfy you or if you prefer the satisfaction of a female I do know of a few nurses who would be willing as well. Normally I condone such behavior and severely discipline those I find guilty of such offenses but I am willing to make an exception for you."

The three nurses tried desperately not to laugh. Fiona flushed bright red.

Frankie laughed at Cecilia. "Are you always like this?" she giggled.

Cecilia laughed. "No!" She responded blushing. "I am usually very shy, but confident. I do have a stubborn streak though. You might not like me outside of the ward."

"Or like you even less!" Jane replied with a chuckle.

Cecilia shook her head. "Am I really that awful?"

"Oh no! I was just kidding, honest." Jane replied defending herself. "At first, I admitted I hated you. I thought you worse than Sister Drummond because you were constantly on the ward floor during your watch. But we soon realized that it wasn't because you were keeping an eye on us to catch us in the act of doing something wrong and be ready to pounce, but to jump in and give us a hand. Some of us have seen a few Head Nurses and Ward Sisters come and go, but we have never seen one work the way you do."

"We like you!" Rose replied.

"Speak for yourselves." Fiona responded. "I for one will be happy to see her go."

Frankie looked sadly at Cecilia. "You're leaving?" she asked.

"Not yet. But it's being discussed." Cecilia replied. "For now, I'm going to be doing more of the office work while Sister Drummond is going to be taking on my role. My pregnancy is going to limit my ability to work, and then as time goes by become very obvious. It's probably not the best professionally to walk about looking like that."

The trio laughed.

"Now at the risk of sounding like an unfeeling bitch, if the three of you are ready to return to duty, I am sure they can use your help out there."

Rose was the first to rise. "You promised us we wouldn't get a write up, Sister Tallis!"

"I did. Don't worry. If the three of you don't feel up to working then I will understand. But I will not tolerate laziness. If I find out that any of you three are slacking off duty due to laziness tonight, I will write you up for that." She replied. "If any of the nurses or Sister Drummond give you a hard time about leaving your posts, tell them to come and talk to me in the morning. Do not argue with them."

Jane stood up and followed Rose out of the ward. Frankie remained on the bed. Cecilia could tell she was still a bit shaken up.

"Sister Tallis, is it possible to perhaps call my father? I'm sure he's worried. He's a doctor at the Royal Mardsen Hospital in Chelsea." Frankie asked.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that. If I allow you a personal call I will have to allow one for everyone. However, I can call the hospital to leave a message. I should give a to call my family to inform them that I'm all right. My father works for the Defense Ministry so I can get away with calling him even when he is at home. What is your father's name?"

Frankie smiled. "It's easy to remember. Frank. Doctor Frank Almond-Smith." She giggled. "I was named after him. I was either going to be Franklin or Frances. And I've always been called 'Frankie'. Thank you very much, Sister Tallis. If you don't mind, I really don't want to return to the ward. Seeing all those injured doctors and nurses is a little bit hard. I can't help think that it could have been my father's hospital that was hit and that he could be among the injured… or worse."

"Understood." Sister Tallis replied. "Get some rest. I expect you to be ready for duty in the morning."

Sister Tallis stood up and walked out of the dorm room leaving Fiona glaring at her.

(d-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-b)

After dinner everyone gathered in the drawing room for cocktails. Jack excused apologizing that he had some business to attend to. The bombings were spreading and the war was growing. Emily knew her husband would not be able to sleep and let him go. He was also never the social type, preferring to sit in his library and read.

"Do you drink, Briony?" Emily asked as Leon handed her a glass of white wine.

Briony shook her head. "No, ma'am." She replied by habit. "I mean Mother." She corrected.

"That's good. Do you smoke? Your sister smokes far too much." Emily replied.

"I don't smoke either." Briony replied. "Cecilia says she's cut back a bit. She can't afford cigarettes as much as she used to."

Leon handed Briony a glass of tonic water with a twist of lime. "So, what's it like working with Cecilia?" He asked. "I just can't picture her as a nurse."

"Actually she's quite a good nurse." Briony answered. "As for working with her, it's just like working with anyone else. Sometimes it is hard to believe that Ward Sister Tallis is my sister Cecilia. Many of the doctors like her. The St Thomas director has even offered to allow her to continue classes after the war and possibly sponsor her through medical school if she's still interested."

Leon laughed. "Medical school? Is this director aware of her third at Cambridge? She didn't even study medicine. She studied literature, wasting her time reading books there when she could have just as easily read father's collections in our library. How hard could that have been? How the hell does she expect to get through medical school?" Leon snorted. "The only reason she's even a nurse is because Robbie wanted to go to medical school. I can't believe the old man was willing to pay for that! I never would have figured our stubborn sister would throw her life away for some low life commoner. She had so much going for her if she had only waited for a proposal from Paul. At least Lola had the sense to accept."

"Cecilia is doing quite well for herself, Leon." Briony replied. "She's living on her own doing what she enjoys. You don't see her at work every day like I do. She really enjoys nursing. She wouldn't have gotten promoted to the rank of Ward Sister if she didn't and didn't truly enjoy what she does. Getting a promotion doesn't come easy. If anyone threw their life away, it was me. I wanted to become a writer. My dream was to follow you and Cecilia to Cambridge and immerse myself in literature and learn from the masters. I threw it all away because of my guilt of what I had done to Robbie and Cecilia and followed Cecilia into nursing, not as some heroic act to help serve my country. I'm miserable and I'm a terrible nurse."

Emily turned to her daughter. "Come now. It can't be all that bad. I'm sure you are a wonderful nurse."

"No, I'm not. I've gotten many write ups from Sister Drummond. And even Cecilia laughed at me telling me how terrible I am. The only reason I'm probably still there is because we are so badly needed right now. Under normal circumstances, I probably wouldn't have lasted the first week!"

"If you are so miserable, why don't you come home?" Emily replied. "I am so worried for you and Cecilia as well. I don't want anything to happen to the two of you."

"I want to be close to Cecilia. She is just beginning to accept me as her sister again. And now with a baby on the way, I want to be there for her."

"All the more reason for you as well as Cecilia to come home!" she replied. "With the bombings in London, I fear for your safety. How are things in Lambeth?"

"We are fine." Briony replied. "No need to worry. We can hear the Army guns and the German planes fly overhead. Sometimes we can hear bombs exploding in the distance."

All was quiet as the gathered family could hear the air raid sirens from the nearby town sound.

Just then a panicked Jack burst into the drawing room and turned to his youngest daughter. "Briony, does Cecilia work in the North Wing? Please tell me the two of you do not work in the North Wing and that Cecilia has no business being there."

"No, we are in the South Wing, and I don't think Cecilia would have business there." Briony responded with confusion. "Why do you ask?"

"The Germans have bombed St Thomas Hospital. They hit the North Wing."

Briony felt guilty that she was at home, while her sister and the other nurses were at the hospital having to deal with what she was sure was pure chaos. She looked to her mother who had begun to cry. She felt sad and wanted to comfort her mother but did not know how to or what to say. She realized how little emotion she felt, how little her sadness seemed to affect her. Was there something wrong with her? Why was it so hard for her to care and understand the feelings of those around her? She was beginning to grasp why her actions five years ago had angered her sister so much.

No one felt like leaving the drawing room. They all remained. No one said a word. What could they say? Cecilia had only made the one visit in June to start making amends and if it not for Betty and Grace encouraging her to speak to the family, they never would have known she had come for a visit. Leon paced the room. It only added to the tension. Finally Emily cracked.

"Leon! Sit down. Stop pacing. You are going to wear out the floor." Emily replied.

Leon continued to pace. He only stopped for a moment to pour himself another drink.

It was nearly 2am when Betty entered the Drawing Room. All eyes turned to her.

"Mr. Tallis," Betty responded, "Jack, I just got off the phone with Cecilia. She said she couldn't talk but she wanted to call and let us know that she was all right. She said she was off to get some rest and sends her love."

A huge weight was lifted for those in the room.

Jack stood up. "Well, I think we should follow Cecilia's lead and get some rest." He turned to Briony. "Don't you leave tomorrow? Would you like a ride to the hospital? I plan on leaving early. I am sure there will be much for me to do at the Ministry."

"Well, I was actually planning on taking the bus into town. I don't have to be back until late afternoon. But I will ride with you. I'm sure an extra body will be much appreciated."

(d-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-b)

It was nearly 10am when Sister Drummond had had enough felt as though she was too tired to work. The bombing of the North Wing had affected everyone. Even Sister Tallis had lasted until 2am. As she entered the office she noticed her pregnant Ward Sister asleep on the hide-away. She wanted to waken her but didn't have the heart.

The phone rang and Sister Tallis didn't even stir. She must have been really tired. Sister Drummond forgot about her fatigue and walked to the desk to answer the phone. "Ward Four. Sister Drummond speaking." She responded.

"Hello? This is Robbie Turner. Is Sister Tallis available?" the polite male voice on the other end asked.

"Oh my goodness! Robbie? Yes. Hold the line, please." Sister Drummond responded with surprise.

She rushed over to the hide-away and shook Sister Tallis awake. "Cecilia, wake up."

Sister Tallis opened her eyes. "Marjorie. Do you need the bed?" she asked groggily.

"Yes, but I didn't wake you for that. The telephone is for you." She replied not giving away who was on the phone.

Cecilia stretched and got up. Still half asleep, she answered the phone. "Sister Tallis speaking, how may I assist you?" she responded.

"Ward Sister, my tummy hurts." The voice on the other end responded. "I think I ate something funny."

"Robbie?" Cecilia exclaimed not quite believing her ears. "Is that you, darling?"

"I love you, Cee." Robbie replied with a chuckle. "They told me I could call a family member so I asked if it could be my fiancé. I can't talk long but I just wanted to hear your voice."

"I love you. I wish I could see you." Cecilia replied. "I have news."

"News? Is everything, everyone all right?" Robbie asked with concern.

"Everything, everyone is all right. It's about me, about us." Cecilia replied. "I really want to tell you in person and see your face, but I don't know when that will be. I'm carrying our child, Robbie. I'm pregnant."

"I'm going to be a dad!" Robbie replied happily.

"Yes, darling." Cecilia chuckled.

"Did you tell my mother?"

"Briony should have told them. She went on holiday, and I gave her permission to tell the family. I hope you don't mind. She was awfully excited to be becoming an aunt. And I don't know I will next have leave."

"I understand." Robbie replied. "I got a letter from your father. I wrote him back telling him my part of what happened that night. I guess he's trying to follow up on where the twins went that night?"

"Yes, he is. We are trying to locate the twins but Lola had them sent away to boarding school and won't even tell her Aunt which one or where."

"Do you think Marshall knows that you are trying to prove me innocent?" Robbie asked.

"I'm not sure. If he does I'm blaming Leon." Cecilia replied. "But I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about happier things. I'm learning how to make your favorite breakfast."

"Pancakes and oatmeal?" Robbie asked. "Are you going to cook for me when I get out?"

"I'm going to try." Cecilia replied. "Don't get your hopes up. I'm afraid all I can make at the moment are crispy egg wafers and glue."

Robbie giggled. "I have faith, Cee, that by the time I do get out you will have perfected them. I look forward to trying them." Robbie sighed. "I'm afraid my time is up. Tell my mother I love her. I love you, Cecilia."

"I love you, Robbie. I'll wait for you. Come back to me."

The line was disconnected. Cecilia started to cry. It had felt so good to hear Robbie's voice again, to talk to him if even for a short time. She sat down behind the desk and looked at the work schedule. The ward was in good hands at the moment. Head Nurse Bennet would be starting her second shift. Not that she doubted the ward wouldn't be. Sister Drummond would not have left it any other way. She wiped her tears and decided that she would wash up and change into a fresh uniform. Then breakfast was in order.

There was a knock on the door. Cecilia sighed. So much for breakfast, she thought.

"Come in," Sister Tallis responded.

The door opened and Sister Tallis was surprised to see her sister.

"Briony, what are you doing here?" she asked. "I didn't expect you until later this afternoon."

"I rode up with father. I figured you could use an extra body." Briony replied. "Thank you for calling the house, Cee. I know it was probably not within regulations."

"It wasn't. I figured since father was a member of the Defense Ministry I can get away with it if called on it. I know it was late. I hope I didn't wake anyone." Cecilia replied. "I also promised to call the Royal Mardsen Hospital in Chelsea for Nurse Almond-Smith. Do you know her?"

"I'm not sure if Betty was asleep, but none of us moved from the drawing room after father came in to inform us that the hospital was hit." She replied. "I don't think I know Nurse Almond-Smith. I'm sure it was a rough night."

Cecilia pointed to Sister Drummond asleep in the hide-away.

Briony snickered. "Oh dear. Cee, please don't tell Sister Drummond that I laughed at her."

"I won't." Cecilia chuckled. "And under the circumstances, I don't think she would be too angry. Besides, you came back from your holiday early, after a crisis. Are you prepared to work a shift? I can make sure you work only one so you can rest up before your scheduled shift."

"Have you been crying? Is everything all right?" Briony asked with concern ignoring the Ward Sister's question.

Cecilia smiled. "Happy tears." She replied. "Robbie called."

"What?" Briony exclaimed. "So you got to talk to him?"

"For a little bit, yes. I got to tell him about our baby."

"Oh, Cee, that's wonderful!"

"Marjorie woke me to tell me the telephone was for me. When I answered he said 'Ward Sister, my tummy hurts. I think I ate something funny.' He used to say that all the time when we were little and he'd get a tummy ache." Cecilia giggled. "The poor guy. He was always getting tummy aches. Sometimes it would from eating too much or sometimes it was from eating something he shouldn't have. When we used to play together, me, Robbie and Leon, I used to make mud pies. I would 'feed' them to Robbie and Leon. I think Robbie actually ate them!"

"He what?" Briony laughed.

"I don't know whether it was from stupidity, or he was just that nice. I prefer to think that he was nice." Cecilia replied. "One time, I backed a batch of cookies, a bit of Betty's help. I baked the cookies before with a lot of her help, and she thought I would be all right on my own. I wasn't. They ended up with too much salt, too much ginger, and I burned them. I gave a couple for Robbie to try, and he gobbled them up. He got sick."

Briony laughed harder. "And he actually wants to marry you and have you cook for him? Is he insane?"

"It's just his nature, I suppose. He has always been the good natured fellow. Don't get him wrong, Briony. He's not naïve. He wouldn't eat mud pies and burned cookies from just anyone." Cecilia laughed. "When I attended the local Grammar with Leon and Robbie before I was accepted to Rodean, there was a girl there who liked Robbie. She made him a mud pie that was much prettier than any I've ever made for him. He refused to eat it."

"I could see Robbie being liked by everyone." Briony replied. "I can see why you like him so much."

Cecilia sighed. "Sometimes I feel as though I don't deserve him."

"Cee, don't say that! The two of you were meant for each other!" Briony exclaimed.

"When we were younger, it didn't matter that I was the 'master's daughter' and he 'the servant's son'. We were just Robbie and Cecilia. Leon was the first to play the class thing. I remember him telling me that I shouldn't play with Robbie anymore. I remember crying and asking him why. I ran to father and told him what Leon said. He told me to ignore my brother and do whatever I wanted. There might be a time where I should no longer play with Robbie and would no longer want to but now was not that time." Cecilia replied. "I had no idea what he meant at the time. I was just happy to be able to ignore my big brother and his bossiness and play with my best friend."

"Robbie still is your best friend, isn't he, Cee."

"Maybe he is." She replied. "I suppose that's why even my snobbishness at Cambridge couldn't break our bond. All those years away, at Rodean, changed me. I became a 'class snob' like Leon. Something changed again at Cambridge. I wanted to talk to Robbie, hang out with him. But I couldn't and I didn't understand why. One was because he was 'our housekeeper's son' and I questioned myself why that had to matter. The other was that I was scared to death of him. Not him exactly, per se but how I was beginning to feel and I had no idea how he felt, so I just ignored him. That is why I feel as though I don't deserve him."

"No! Don't say that. Don't ever think that!" Briony replied. "You are a much better person than you were then, than you were five years ago. You deserve to be happy! You didn't do anything wrong. I did! And I curse myself every day for denying you of that."

"Thank you." Cecilia replied. "Shakespeare wrote in 'Hamlet' 'above all this to thine own self be true'. I never really understood what the bard meant until five years ago. I wasted so much time at Cambridge. If I had told him how I felt, we might be married. Promise me, Briony that you will be true to yourself. Don't let anyone, or society tell you how you should live and who you should love. If I had done that, Robbie and I might have come back from Cambridge engaged rather than estranged."

"And everything that happened that day might never have happened." Briony added.

Cecilia shook her head. "No. No, that's not what I meant. You still could have seen something happening between Robbie and I that you did not understand. Things still could have happened the way they did. This isn't about me, Briony. It's about you." she replied. "While I regret the decisions I made at Cambridge, I cannot change the past. They have molded me into the woman I am today. I am enjoying the life I have. Do you understand what I am trying to say?"

"I think so." Briony admitted as she tried to grasp just what her sister wanted her to understand.

"I don't want you to blame yourself, Briony." Cecilia replied. "Paul Marshall is Leon's friend. He could have been at the house for many different reasons. If not that hot summer day, then another." Cecilia shuddered at the thought that the reason Marshall had been invited was to propose to her. "I've gone through many scenarios of what could have happened, how things could have been different, how things could have been changed. I've blamed just about everybody for what happened, even Robbie. What happened that day, Briony, was not just your fault."

Briony was surprised at what she was hearing. "You really blamed Robbie?"

"Yes, Briony, I have. I have blamed myself, Danny, mother, Grace... everyone at one time or another. That is why I can honestly say that I love you. You are my sister. I can accept that and love you despite my hating you for what you did to me and Robbie by your lies. Or did you lie? You may have seen what you thought you saw and whether or not it was not what was truly happening from your point of view it was the truth. But in the end I know why you did what you did. You saw something, and you were only trying to protect me, like I had done for you many times in the past."

"Thank you." Briony replied.

"You're welcome." Cecilia replied giving her body a long stretch. "Now, I think I need a bath, and some food. If you are up to it, I'm sure they can use some help in the ward. I've given you a bit to think about. If you want to rest before your shift later, get some rest. If not, get dressed and tell Nurse Bennet you will work one shift now and then return for your scheduled shift."


End file.
